Small waists and new lifestyles - My Viewpoint

The really tough part about PNP Director General Ping Lacson's directive on 34-inch waistlines and physical fitness standards is not so much the crash diets and exercise programs some fat cops have to undergo to beat the immovable deadlines Ping has set. It is the realization of all policemen that what the directive demands is a new lifestyle to which most of them are unaccustomed.

April 1st has come and gone. Twelve (not seventeen) generals and 26 police colonels had waistline over the 34-inch limit. The physical fitness tests are continuing down the line and by the end of April, it will be known who among PNP members, from generals to PO1's, didn't make the grade. Those who fail will be tested again on July 1st. If they still don't make it, they will be thrown into the "freezer", i.e. relieved of their current positions in order to devote themselves full-time to a 3-month rehabilitation program.

On October 1st this year, everyone will go through the tests again, including those who passed the April meat grinder. I understand that those who fail the October test will be "attrited" (read: dismissed) from the force. And if that isn't enough pressure, a physical fitness test will be administered every six months thereafter. Backsliding, in other words, will not be tolerated. This is not a ningas-kogon type situation where resculpted cops can relax and let their stomachs out again after October 1st.

One worry has to do with all those fatsos who have only six months to trim bellies and unload spare tires. If they starve themselves or work out frantically on treadmills and Cybex weight machines, do they not thereby become prime candidate for strokes and heart attacks? After all, they are paying the price for being abusive cops. Abusive to themselves, that is. You can't compensate for years of beer binges, and heaping plates of panga and sisig, with a couple of months of fasting and panic-exercising. Well, these desperate cops will just have to watch themselves and seek medical advice as they whip themselves into shape, to make sure they don't wind up under gravestones in their quest to keep those coveted PNP badges.

Thus, if our intrepid policemen expect to pass these periodic fitness tests every six months or so, they will have to keep permanent possession of those svelte figures. No more late-night boozing, no more endless feasting on lechon and other fatty, cholesterol-loaded fare. They will have to discipline themselves to exercise regularly, get enough sleep and watch their diets. How else will they maintain those 34-inch waists and pass fitness tests which require them to run a kilometer in no more than eight minutes, do at least 12 push-ups and 20 sit-ups.

And it does appear that thus far there has been some deliberate and charitable laxity in the administration of the fitness tests. In the execution of the required push-ups, for example, cops with excessive avoirdupois were allowed to push up when bellies rather than chests were about to touch the floor. Obviously, that's a pretty wimpy push-up. But, come October 1st, no more short-cuts or abbreviated moves will be permitted. The execution of push-ups and sit-ups will have to be done strictly, and painfully, by the book. Ouch!

Not surprisingly, the prospect -- or threat -- of a disciplined life is what drives many policemen up a wall. Maybe this is why, as one policewoman in charge of the Western Police District's medical and dental sector has stated, many cops are now suffering from "self-pity, feelings of uselessness and loss of confidence." Some members of Manila's Finest have even been heard belly-aching that a policeman's life will henceforth be boring, if they must part with their beloved bilbils, they grouse, they might as well join beauty contests.

To which I respond that our cops have nothing to fear but fear itself. And they have nothing to lose but sorry physiques just waiting to be ravaged by heart disease. They may grumble and bitch today. Tomorrow, they won't be able to stop admiring that trim, athletic figure, that thing of absolute beauty, gazing lovingly at them from the mirror.

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Ricardo V. Puno, Jr.'s e-mail address: [email protected]