The crying game - Sketches

Okay, what's wrong with crying? It has been said that if men cried more often, they'd reduce the risk of heart attacks and high blood pressure and therefore live longer. Take it from the "weaker" sex: when life overwhelms you, have a good, long cry, if possible on someone's sympathetic shoulder.

In the case of Presidential Management Staff chief Leonora de Jesus, she found the best shoulder to cry on, after Executive Secretary Ronaldo Zamora announced that she would soon be out of Malacañang.

In dropping his bombshell about the "Dragon Lady" during a radio interview last week, the "Little President" must have factored in everything except feminine tears. Now his announcement about the entry of Aprodicio Laquian into Malacañang is starting to look like wishful thinking.

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Which makes you wonder what came over Ronnie Zamora. The executive secretary might have occasionally leaked stories to the media and sown intrigue, but he did not allow himself to be traced as the source. You'd think he would announce De Jesus' impending departure on radio, the Pinoy's favorite mass medium, only if he was sure of his facts. If he declared that the PMS chief was on the way out, he must have gotten that straight from the President's mouth.

Before the crying session, President Erap himself was asked by reporters if De Jesus was being replaced because of her low poll ratings. Significantly, he did not deny that De Jesus was on the way out, but merely denied that the poll rating was the cause.

Was Zamora's announcement a trial balloon, cleared with the President? In the Palace snake pit, you can never tell.

At any rate, De Jesus refused to be thrown out of the snake pit and "promoted" to the non-existent Department of Housing. If Lt. Gen. Jose Calimlim can hold three posts (there's a law violated somewhere, but they've probably repealed it), why can't she keep just two? It's enough to drive a dedicated public servant to tears.

And so the Dragon Lady cried on President Erap's shoulder. The President, a man who loves women, melted and told De Jesus she could have whatever post she wanted. The weeping tack wasn't original. If reports were accurate, Tourism Secretary Gemma Cruz-Araneta did it weeks ago, and got what she wanted, too.

Like I said, you macho guys, crying may be a sign of weakness, but it can also be a potent weapon.

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Having seen the effect of tears on President Erap, government officials in danger of losing their posts will probably start practicing the art of weeping. Take a deep breath, practice choking and think of your dearly departed. Make sure your eyes are puffy and your nose stuffy. Then talk with the President.

And when you've gotten what you want, hit back. Yesterday, the Dragon Lady struck back at those who have launched a "3 Ds" campaign against her, including, of course, that Xenical-addled ogre Ronnie Zamora and some members of the media.

People who have dealt with De Jesus say that she is in fact an efficient worker. We should be glad that at least one official is performing efficiently at Malacañang. I remember her as a sweet, solicitous official -- but then I knew her when she still wasn't called the Dragon Lady. Other journalists who have interviewed her lately note that she is articulate, candid, intelligent. She seems loyal to her friends but deadly to her enemies. She is supposed to be dedicated to whoever her boss is -- so dedicated she inevitably earns the ire of others close to the boss. In the corridors of power, such ire can be fatal to a person's career.

Unless you know how to fight like the original Dragon Lady, China's Empress Dowager. And you know how to cry.

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BUZZ: Why did President Erap tell his Cabinet, in their first meeting for the year, that they should not entertain requests for favors from his relatives, even his mother? Because during the meeting, Education Secretary Andrew Gonzalez tattled that another presidential relative was again pushing a textbook deal with the education department. You can't choose your relatives. Oh well, at least this time, Brother Andrew did not tattle to the Senate.