Up close and personal with the new 1

MANILA, Philippines - BERLIN, GERMANY: Growing up, my mom always tried setting me and my brothers up with her friend’s daughters. Admittedly, there were some pretty cool ones, as well as the odd extra hot one, but you always worried about the one she really pushed hard for that had “A really nice personality.” These were the girls that, well, mom felt would never break your heart.

Well, last month, I may have met the motoring equivalent of that friend’s daughter.

Don’t get me wrong, there was nothing wrong with these girls – it was quite the contrary, actually – its just that most times you needed to look a little deeper to truly appreciate them. Just like the new 1Series.

Unlike the first generation that was launched back in 2004 and sold it’s one millionth unit last year, the new one doesn’t immediately draw you in with its good looks but instead relies on your automotive maturity to take the plunge. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but for many who were there at the exclusive advanced screening in Berlin, there wasn’t very much right about it either.

The culprit seems to be the elongated hood, which has been the center of much heated discussion both at the pre-dinner cocktails at Sav Hotel as well as the defenseless borders of the world wide web, and no amount of chilled German beer and imported wine could cool it down. Designed primarily with pedestrian safety in mind, the second generation 1Series tends to mimic the X1 – even if the designers insist that they do not have a single shared line between them – while the front tapered headlights seem to pop out like someone has squeezed the car like a tube of toothpaste somewhere beneath the windscreen.

This, of course, is completely subjective, and I’m fully aware that designs can eventually grow on you over time, so I’ll save the column inches for what really matters – how this baby drives. And believe me, whatever it may lack in looks, it more than makes up for in every single area. Starting with the sensational new Twin Power Turbo Technology.

You only need to brush the throttle lightly to feel the immediate gains of this wonderful technology. It is crisp, responsive and extremely willing. My test unit over the two days was the radically redesigned 184hp 2.0 diesel that we first tested on the all-new X3 in March of this year – and yes, I can already hear your brain doing the math, and yes, you are absolutely right. This is far from the daughter of your mom’s friend; this is the one she warned you about. With an engine that packs over 75% of the torque of an E39 M5, in a package that could almost fit in the trunk of a 5 series, this thing flung me around the city streets and country roads of Berlin like a stretched rubber band in the hands of a kid with ADD and left a smile so big that my face hurt.

Yet amazingly, it returned an outstanding, if not somewhat unbelievable, 5.1 liters/100 kilometers (19.3 kilometers to the liter.) when driven in the clever new ECO PRO Mode that monitors your driving habits and optimizes everything from throttle response to air-conditioning. BMW claims 4.6 liters/100kilometers (22.2 kilometers per liter) but I’m guessing that they may not have been in the same rush that I was. When pushed really hard, that figure creeped up to almost 11 liters/100km (9.1 km/liter) but was certainly worth every drop. I’ve never been terribly good at math, but there are just some numbers that add up, and 100% joy minus 9.1% guilt is as close to a hall pass as any God-fearing, car-loving, man or woman can get.

BMW likes to call it efficientainment, and unlike other fuel vacuum gauges or economy trip meters, the 1Series allows you to earn extra kilometers by modifying your driving habits. If you keep within “the zone” you will see a little blue number that displays the total amount of kilometers you’ve gained simply by driving responsibly. It’s a bit of a gimmick, but with real world benefits, and even if it ends up like that little fly that some company painted at a certain spot in public urinals that decreases splash, then we’re all the better for it.

Most of the magic comes from a variable-geometry turbocharger and a common-rail magnetic-valve direct injection system that allows the engine to spew out 280 foot pounds of torque from as low as 1,750 rpm and squeezes its last horse dry at a modest 4,000 rpm. While it may be no M Coupe, this keeps the power exactly where you need it in real world conditions, allowing you to point and squirt around town without any exaggerated pedal movement. Throw all that in with the segment’s first ever 8-speed gearbox, in the last of the rear wheel drive platforms, and you have heavyweight power with fly weight’s combinations.

As 70% of all 1Series owners tend to be new BMW customers, a lot needed to be done on the inside. Sheer Driving Pleasure is a given, but some newcomers to the brand were left a little cold by the lack of equipment level or space that most premium Japanese brands, or indeed fellow European marques, were offering. This explains why BMW went all out with the new 1Series, giving it an extra 85 millimetres in length, 21millimeters of which were donated to rear leg room, and an extra 30 to the wheelbase; height remains unchanged, but an added 17 millimeters of increased width has given the new 1Series a more spacious interior as well as an arguably more sporty stance.

But the biggest change is the introduction of an Urban and Sport line, with an unprecedented level of electronic safety equipment like lane departure warning, high-beam assistance, adaptive headlights, parking assistance, reversing camera, including Collision Warning, cruise control with brake function, speed-limit and no-passing information, as well as a fantastic online, interactive multimedia entertainment and information center that is controlled by the now very familiar iDrive, making today’s 1Series even more well-optioned than the last 5Series.

Regardless of which line you choose, BMW are offering new buyers over 6,500 different combination possibilities to personalize your 1Series, much in the same way we have all come used to doing with our iPhones. Speaking of which, the new SmartPhone integration allows for the use of web radio, internet connectivity, real-time traffic updates, as well as access to Twitter and Facebook and exclusive BMW apps that can tell you where you parked your One’er and even unlock the car for you – although we’re holding our praise until BMW can come up with an Angry Bird-type App that can actually hurl something at the idiot in front who just cut you off.

Forgive me if it sounds like I’m gushing. Its just that I admire efficiency even more than power, which may explain why I’m as excited about this car as I am about the Ferrari FF I drove just two weeks before this, even if it has almost exactly the same power as each of the FF’s wheel. There are just some things you know your mom is right about. And because I know that looks will either fade over time or we get used to it, I’m always more impressed with anything that punches above its weight. And that is exactly what the 1Series does. It has trimmed all the fat and pushed every single component to its design limit, making you feel that the only thing that’s wasted is the time it took you to make up your mind.