Stupid Drivers Club

If I were a duly authorized traffic policeman (emphasis on the "duly"), I’d be a rich man. I’d ask my superiors to allow me to extend my shift and I’d share with him the "graces" I’d be getting. I’d just patrol my beat (preferably on a motorcycle) and I would definitely catch a lot of traffic violators, especially at night. There are a lot of stupid drivers out there, you know, and they’re members of the Stupid Drivers Club.

First of all, I’d apprehend drivers who are driving vehicles at night without turning on their headlights. This dangerous practice was first started by jeepney drivers who ignorantly thought that they could prolong the service life of their battery and their headlight bulbs by not turning them on. Initially they were a nuisance but when they nonchalantly overtake on a dark road with a "No Overtaking" sign clearly posted, they become a dangerous road hazard. Unfortunately, the population of the Stupid Drivers Club has increased when drivers of buses, taxis, tricycles and even some private vehicles have joined the jeepney drivers and are driving without headlights at night.

We did some research on what law this stupid practice violates and we found out that the then-Ministry of Local Government (now Department of Local Government and Interior or DILG) issued Memorandum Circular MC 89-105 dated July 10, 1989 pertaining to the local government code on traffic violations which is still in effect to date. MC 89-105 Section 23 pertains to "Violations Relative to Equipment, Parts, Accessories, Devices and Markings on Motor Vehicles" and sub-section 23F states "No or defective headlights." However, this traffic ordinance can be subject to interpretation ("But I have working headlights, officer. I just didn’t turn them on…") and the penalty is only a hundred peso (P100) fine. But with the sheer number of violators, I guess I could accumulate a lot of grease money, er…fines to keep my superiors happy.

Since I’m in MC 89-105 Section 23F, I might as well go after drivers who knowingly drive their vehicles with defective headlights and those with super bright lights that blind drivers of on-coming cars (Section 58 "Failure to dim headlights"). Hey, while I’m at it, I’ll go after those vehicles with no or defective tail lights (Section 23G), vehicles with no RED rear lights (Section 23H), vehicles with no license plate lights (Section 23I), vehicles with no brake or stop lights (Section 23J) as well as those vehicles with red lights in front (Section 23E) and those with exceptionally loud, startling or disagreeable horns (Section 23C). You have to agree that there are a lot of them out there. My superiors will definitely be super happy.

While patrolling the streets, I’ll also be looking at the license plates of vehicles. No, I won’t be looking for vehicles which are covered by the ineffective Vehicular Traffic Reduction Scheme or coding scheme of the MMDA but rather, I’ll be looking at the REAR license plate to see if it was covered with a tinted plastic or glass cover, which seems to be in vogue nowadays. The tinted cover obscures the view of the license plate and this violates Section 17 (Violations in connection with number plates and stickers), specifically 17C (Inconspicuously displayed plates) which carries the same hundred peso fine. Bet you didn’t know that, stupid.

For those drivers who still insist on slicing through traffic using their wang-wang sirens, be warned that President GMA issued an Executive Order against the unauthorized use of sirens, and she included her Cabinet secretaries and local government officials in the EO. While some stupid public officials, especially those congressmen and mayors who treat their towns or cities as their own mini-kingdoms (I wish you don’t get re-elected, he-he), continue to flaunt their wanton violation of the President’s order (and their opposition to her, too), MC 89-105 Section 31 authorizes traffic cops to flag down unauthorized vehicles with sirens and fine them for the infraction as well as confiscate the equipment. Unfortunately, there aren’t too many traffic cops who are smart enough or even courageous enough to enforce this law and the President’s EO, and even if I were a pretend-traffic cop, I’d be out of my mind to flag down the mayor’s big, bad SUV and his convoy of armed goons.

But I’d flag down easier targets like vehicles that are going against the flow of traffic as well as accost drivers of vehicles that are parked against the flow of traffic (Section 70B). I’d also go after PUVs that load and unload passengers in "No Loading" zones and those that use the streets as their terminals (Section 70Z "Obstruction of traffic") and I’d have a picnic apprehending PUVs with those loud stereos (Section 35 Violation of Stereo Regulation on "For Hire" Vehicles). While we’re on the topic, I’d also accost taxi drivers who refuse to take passengers to their destinations or render service, fine them five hundred pesos (P500) and suspend their driver’s license for a month (Section 63). Since I’m a motorcycle rider myself, I’d flag down motorcyclists who are riding without wearing their helmets (Section 56F) and those who ride on the sidewalks (Section 60A). Gee, there are stupid riders, too.

But most of all, I’d be vigilant against motorists who run red lights (Section 56E Disregarding traffic signs and signals) whether they be four-wheeled or two-wheeled. This simple act of following traffic lights even without visible traffic enforcement must be strictly implemented because it greatly influences the general behavior and mentality of the people. If the common folk routinely violate this seemingly menial act of obedience, then they may develop a mentality of lawlessness and may even be encouraged to violate other laws, especially those laws that pertain to safety and the environment. This will further erode our national discipline and eventually, enforcement will either be too difficult to implement or will be too severe so it can be effectively implemented.

As I stated at the beginning of this column, I might do all these things if I were a "duly" authorized traffic cop, which thankfully, I’m not. I’m just an observing motoring journalist and while I do not condone corruption among enforcers, I also acknowledge that the "graces" I suggested are realities.

But I couldn’t idly stand by (or drive or ride by) and see all the stupid drivers roaming free on our roads. I’ve tried reminding other motorists of their violations and all I got were either blank stares or evil eyes. At times, I’ve even accosted reckless and arrogant drivers and enforcers who look the other way but my lawyer advised me against being a traffic vigilante. I guess I could ask the LTO to deputize me but my wife fears that I might get into trouble with rogue drivers or riders. I could work with progressive congressmen who are thinking of amending the traffic laws and thankfully, there are groundwork being done to this effect. In the mean time, I’ll just do my part and follow traffic laws. That way, I won’t become a member of the Stupid Driver’s Club.

The past few weeks we’ve dedicated space to specific content reactions. Here are a few of your reactions to other motoring related issues.

Can you feature the pros and cons of using an LPG conversion kit for your car? How much does it cost? — 09187058785 (We already did not too long ago. Send us your email address so we can forward the article to you)

Good day. I have an additional comment about that cellphone myth. It was tackled in Discovery Channel by the MythBusters. It was not a cellphone which caused a service station to combust. It was caused by static electricity from a driver’s hand. The driver was trying to open a gas tank after accumulating the static electricity from his car’s carpet. — 09185345711

Can you feature the new L200 Strada CRDi (4x4) pick up? Thanks and more power! — 09215757424 (We will once any of our contributors get their hands on a test unit.)

I can’t understand the logic of widening Commonwealth Avenue except the area fronting Iglesia ni Cristo where bottle-necking happens. — 09196973050

Can you talk more about traffic rules specially driving by following the lanes not by relative position with other cars? — 09209381770

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a "Backseat Driver", text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.