Traffic Beater

I give up! For the life of me, I really don’t know why the authorities are dragging their collective feet in solving this traffic jam we constantly find ourselves in around Metro Manila. If you go around the metropolis, you know what I’m complaining about — it’s the summer break, there are no classes, yet the streets are clogged. There are supposedly less cars on the road because of the school break, yet traffic moves at a snail’s pace or even stops to a standstill, especially at EDSA and major thoroughfares.

Why? Is it because of those freaking pink fences that are herding motorists like cattle and creating traffic bottlenecks? Is it because of those undisciplined PUV and private car drivers who are now blatantly disregarding traffic signs and traffic lights? Why are they so brazen in violating traffic laws? Is it because of those hapless MMDA traffic enforcers who are not really doing their jobs? Is it because the violating PUV drivers are protected by some payola or lagayan (grease money) system? Is it because government funds intended for road improvement and traffic management have run dry because they have been misappropriated or channeled to other "priority" projects? Or is it because the system finally broke down and we now have anarchy in the streets?

Forgive me if I sound seemingly despondent, but I’m beginning to feel that the authorities are really sitting on their fat butts doing nothing. They do not even have the decency to respond to questions from the public — much less, queries and pot shots from this column — considering their pay checks come from the taxes paid by you, the people. And, in the rare occasion that they do something or release a press statement, you can feel that they’re just humoring us.

So, who has the right to question those failed traffic experiments that the MMDA is doing? Our elected mayors? Ha! They don’t even rattle the MMDA chairman, who is beginning to look "untouchable" due to the protection of the egocentrics in Malacañang. Why, even the police are ignoring the mayors because these local government heads are short-term "elected" officials while the cops are lifetime "career" government professionals. Our representatives in Congress? Ha! Most of them are oblivious to traffic because they often have sirens and armed convoys to slice them through traffic. And they have more important things to do, like spend their pork barrel on "Happy Graduation" and "Happy Fiesta" overhead streamers cluttering up the streets, than question traffic authorities why our streets are so cluttered.

Forget about PUV operators and drivers associations questioning the MMDA — they are more concentrated on demanding fare hikes than complaining about traffic, which their bona fide members cause, more often than not. And forget about automobile associations — they do not have the numbers nor the influence, or at least the fangs to snarl at the offending parties. These PUV and private motorists associations blew their chances at being heard by the MMDA when they came out on two late night TV political talk shows and all they did at each show was "agree with the MMDA" even when the hosts were trying to prod them to say something or come up with an opposing point. In her disgust, the female host of one of the shows cynically asked her guests from the PUV and private motoring associations if they had a side agreement with the guest from MMDA before her show started.

So, I guess I’m better off not minding the traffic. How could I not? Well, it’s because I found my traffic beater — a legal and rather inexpensive way around this tangled traffic web. Well, "rediscovered" is more like it.

You see, my trusty Yamaha Virago 535 motorcycle and my dependable Kymco Vivio 150 scooter are parked in my home/office where they have sat idly for quite some time. Relegated for use as my weekend recreational rides, they’ve been staring at me headlight-to-eyeball every time I sit down on my desk and face my PC. Call me lazy but the summer heat (up to 39-degrees Celsius at its peak) made me drive my air-conditioned car more than ride my bikes. So, after driving my car through heavy traffic and cursing the traffic czars and their mothers to high heavens, I’ve decided to go back to motorcycling. Eureka, a solution to my traffic woes!

Sure, I may sweat under the sun and smell like a baked potato when I get to my destination, but I always get there faster, even if I take EDSA. I can slice through the traffic like a sixth-generation "career" congressman, sans sirens and armed bodyguards, by just riding carefully through the traffic gaps. And if the traffic’s really tangled bumper-to-bumper or even fender-to-fender, I can always ride up the sidewalk. True, it’s not supposed to be legal, but hey, even the cops are doing it.

Besides beating the traffic, my motorbikes are also beating the high prices of fuel. It only costs a little over P150 to fill up the scooter and a little under P300 to fill up the big bike. And a full tank can last me a week of riding around the city on the Vivio or a 200-kilometer trip on the Virago. In comparison, it costs about a thousand pesos to fill up my Sentra 1600 and one full tank won’t last a full week and can only net me around 280-kilometers, if I’m lucky.

It’s also relatively safe to ride motorcycles nowadays. For one thing, vehicles with three wheels and more are virtually locked in the traffic jam so they don’t pose any real speeding threat. If they do move, their average speed is less than 25kph, so in rare cases of a collision between a bike and a slow vehicle, you’re more likely to bruise your ego than suffer anything really serious, that is, if you’re wearing a helmet and the right protective riding gear. Besides, current motorcycle and scooter models are built better, safer and more robust that it takes a complete idiot to fall off one, or heaven forbid, crash one and hurt himself. Remember that it takes as low as 3/10ths of your concentration to drive a car, but it requires 8/10ths to safely ride a motorcycle. (That may even help you develop your focus on life in general!) Just don’t try beating a bus or a truck to the next intersection, or you’ll end up as road kill, what with some shabu-snorting drivers behind the wheel.

So, if you feel that driving through traffic is beginning to wear you down, and riding public or the MRT is not your cup of tea, take up motorcycling. Secure a Restriction 1 on your Driver’s License, buy a helmet and riding gear (preferably a mesh riding jacket with armor protection) and a pair of riding boots, take up a motorcycle riding course, and get yourself a bike. Buy a small bike or a used one if it’s your first time to ride — minor scratches and low-speed crashes can easily be ignored if your bike is cheap and you can easily get it back up when you fall if it’s small. Bikes with 100 to 150cc motors can out-accelerate any car in this traffic and they’re dirt cheap to operate. Besides, you can always move up to bigger and heavier bikes once your skills develop.

Motorcycling is not only sensible transportation in our current chaotic traffic situation, it is also a great way to have fun on your everyday, ho-hum, boring commute to the office. And it frees you from becoming another whiner complaining about the chaos while sitting helplessly in this metropolitan traffic jam we constantly find ourselves in.

(Report reckless PUV drivers to the LTFRB Hotline 0921-448-7777. Who knows? Something good might come out of it. If you really want to air your disgust about the traffic, send me an email at [email protected] or text this column.)

Last week’s set of backseat drivers had this to say…

I was pleasantly surprised when I came back from the province last May 2, Monday. Passing through EDSA was a breeze. — 09189349304

There must be something we can do against civilians and government people using sirens when there are no emergencies. — 09175308893 (We can give them the finger…)

Metro Manila is in the Dark Ages due to all the black poision spewed by rampaging and zigzagging buses and jeepneys. — 09178459239

To the MMDA at the Baranggay Old Capitol site, please do something about the parked jeepneys blocking half of Masaya St. U.P. Village 2-4 p.m. weekdays. — 09189304560

Whoever thought of using roving trucks to advertise is crazy. The trucks just add to the traffic and pollution. — 09189054534

Why is it that tankers loaded with volatile cargo are allowed to pass under flyovers despite our existing laws? — 09174089535

When can we have an EDSA free of moron bus drivers who act like maniacs when driving? We were nearly sideswiped recently when a bus swerved into our lane. — 09178900793

To the MMDA and the Quezon City government: Why allow PUJs and non-residents to park overnight along Narra St. in Project 3 Q.C. without respect to residents? — 09208886046

Imported used cars with sliding doors on the left should be banned because they jeopardize both passengers and incoming cars and its own occupants. — 09105098925

The roads in Mandaluyong City are in bad condition. The asphalt is not smoothly finished, road repairs are left unfinished. We pay our taxes but we don’t see any improvement. — 09178227111 (Hey, buddy, I’m from Mandaluyong too and I can’t complain…because I’m already tired.)

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a "Backseat Driver", text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2333 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber.