So I think I can dance

MANILA, Philippines - I used to dance around in my living room to my parent’s cassette tapes (and later, CDs) of Broadway musicals back in the ‘80s when I was still a kid. I grew up watching MGM musicals that had singing and dancing and I loved it. My parents asked me, at 10, if I wanted to take up dance classes and I said “No.” For whatever stupid reason I had back then, I declined the offer and I didn’t know that this would become the biggest regret of my life.

It was the ‘80s and back then you didn’t know people had careers in dance. I still danced and when I got to college, I was always on the dance floor of every party, bar and club that I went to. I watched ballet and modern dance performances on video that my parents got or titos and titas sent from abroad. My favorite videos had dancing in them but it never occurred to me how much I loved it, that when I was alone in my room, I’d play the music really high and just dance. Dance like no one is watching, the adage goes; well, I’ve done my share.

Then I discovered So You Think You Can Dance and that changed everything. All of a sudden, in one show, I saw so many kinds of genres of dance and I was amazed. I watched every episode and watch them again when I have free time. I followed the lives of these contestants, these dancers, and discovered that there is a life in dance and that’s when it hit me. That silly decision I made when I was 10 years old, with a simple “No,” changed the whole life path that I could have taken. I could have gone all over the world, dancing for a living. I could have had abs. I’d probably not have gotten into smoking. The “could have beens” are endless.

I’m over 30 now and I’d never be as good as those dancers in Ballet Philippines (whose shows I’ve started to watch) or So You Think You Can Dance. Hell, I can’t even dance two songs straight in a row anymore. I used to dance from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. every weekend night back in my 20s. But in my quiet moments, when I’m struck with a resistance to write, I find myself putting the music up really high and dancing and then, the words just start to flow. When the body is free, when you can express what is inside without words, through movement, I find that the words come easier. I read that my favorite musical artist, Kate Bush (also from the ‘80s) did this. She took up dance as well.

So, older, slower, and more afraid than I was before, I decided to bite the bullet and take a dance class. It was a spontaneous decision so I wasn’t able to get to a jazz or a contemporary class, which I originally intended, and instead found myself at I-Dance Studios in Quezon City to take a hip-hop class. I was so nervous. There was a lady, a yoga instructor who was my age but looked all of 21 and eight tweens in the class with us and all I could think of was, “Damn! I am going to look so silly.”

The Beginner’s hip-hop class was being taught by JR, Mark, and Mike of The Maneouvers. They began with a 10-minute warm up that left me struggling and panting to keep up, but I managed. And then, for the day’s lesson, we were going to be taught the four basic steps to groove to the music. After constant repetition, we later spent the rest of the class doing combinations of the four basic steps so that it became muscle memory. I almost fainted but kept up with the tweens and the yoga instructor as I started to feel the beat and began to enjoy myself. This is what I wanted to do; I felt the blood surge through me and I really enjoyed myself.

The only problem? I don’t have soul. From watching So You Think You Can Dance, I know hip-hop has to be more grounded and requires attitude, which I don’t have. My back is too straight. I dance high up. I loved it; I was dancing for an hour, and everyone around me was dancing and it was like being in a club again in the early parts of 2000s, when people really danced in clubs. I was so happy. But maybe hip-hop isn’t for me?

I’ll do better research and find a jazz class or contemporary class and take one. Now that I’ve done my first and realized it isn’t as scary or as embarrassing as I first thought it would be, I could really get into this. And if there’s none, I’ll go back to hip-hop. Like what the instructor, JR, told me, “You’ll find the groove eventually. You’ll find your soul. You just have to keep at it.”

I know what he meant. But I found my soul that day. It’s not too late. I’m not going to be a professional dancer, but I’m going to dance. I’m going to be dancing, at least once a week, until I’m dead.

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I-Dance Studios holds classes on Zumba, Ballroom, Hip-hop, and Yoga. For more information, call 961-3696 or check out www.idancestudio.ph.