Dear Ms. Laxa-Pangilinan,
I was disappointed with your column on spanking today. Your introduction was fine, but I disagree with your views about spanking, and feel very uncomfortable that other moms may try to follow your example.
It seems youve adopted the views of Dr. James Dobson, who believes that spanking is appropriate. I think you failed to emphasize that there are so many other alternatives to punishment. A parent who wants to impose punishment should be able to find some other methods, if he is indeed calm. Furthermore, saying that the child should be willing to yield to the spanking sounds painfully akin to child abuse disguised as something "good for you."
Very truly yours,
Meg , mom of two
Ayala Alabang, Muntinlupa
1. When you were disciplined as a child, what do you remember most about your father and /or mother?
a. Did they discipline in anger or not? If they did get angry, what were your feelings?
b. What about your parents disciplining style did you agree or disagree with?
c. Is your style of discipline the same or different from your parents?
2. After considering the answers to the questions above, how would you want to discipline your children?
Punishment, on the other hand, involves getting even and giving a penalty for an offense. It focuses on past misdeeds of the child. The parent is often governed by an attitude of frustration and anger. Punishment produces children who are always in fear and are constantly guilty of their actions.
A parents attitude when disciplining her children is vital to the method of correction she will use. Ask yourself the method of discipline you apply to your children. After understanding the difference between discipline and punishment, do you think you would still use the terms interchangeably?