Dear Nanay,
Last year, my girlfriend and I bought an apartment unit. Unfortunately, things did not work out between the two of us so we broke up. My problem is we both put our savings into buying the apartment and we’re now having a hard time selling it because of the economic crisis. What should we do? Do we have to live together even if we don’t want to? Or should we just sell the apartment even at a loss?
JPM
* * *
Dear JPM,
I think the first option you have is for one of you to buy out the other one. If one of you is willing and able, maybe that person can pay in cash, installment or get a loan. Mas madali mag-usap tungkol sa presyo kung dalawa lang kayong nag-uusap. (It’s easier to settle on the price if it’s just between the two of you.)
A possible second option is to find a way to divide the apartment, depending on how it is structured. Baka pwede ninyo gawin duplex? (You might turn it into a duplex?) Layout permitting, you can put a wall of some kind in the middle.
As a third option, maybe you can rent it out and then divide the money between the two of you. Then you can both just go out and rent your own apartments individually. You will probably end up with smaller units but at least you will have your independence, and you don’t have to unwillingly live with each other.
And I think as a last possible option if you cannot agree on any of the above then you might have to sell the apartment at a loss. I think it would be useless to force yourselves to live together when you will both be miserable. Going home to your own place is supposed to be relaxing and something to look forward to. Parang hindi naman tama na hindi ka masaya every time oras na para umuwi ka. (It doesn’t seem right that you’ve unhappy every time you go home.) I think you both owe it to yourselves that you try to be happy especially in your own home.
Sincerely,
Nanay
* * *
Dear Nanay,
I am an avid reader of your column in the Philippine STAR and I am writing you to get some advice. I come from a big family. I have seven siblings while my husband has one. I want a big family but he wants a small one. How many children do you think is ideal?
Kathy
Dear Kathy,
I think the first thing you have to look at is your financial means and figure out how much money you can really budget for your children. It is very expensive to raise and educate kids today. So you really have to project how much it will cost you to give them the best education you can afford. Ilan ba talaga ang kaya ninyo alagaan at paaralin? (How many children can you afford to raise and send to school?)
The second consideration that you must bear in mind is how much time can the two of you commit to your children? Obviously, more children will require a bigger time commitment. If you are both working 15 hours a day, I do not know if you will have the time to raise a big family. Of course, you can always hire people to help you out, but there is nothing like raising the children yourselves. The love, commitment, and devotion of a parent will never be equaled by someone else who is just doing it for the money.
Personally, if you ask me, I think two or three children are enough. But it is really up to you. If you want more kids, and you can give them the time and resources needed, then why not? The more, the merrier!
I think the most important thing to remember is that it is easy to have children. It is raising them that is difficult. Don’t forget that the great joy and happiness the children will bring to your life will also come with great responsibility. And you will owe it to your children to live up to that responsibility.
Sincerely,
Nanay
* * *
If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.