This was the plea aired the other day by former long-haul bus driver Cesar Gabriel as he faces the fight of his life: A fierce custody battle over his daughters Yvonne, 8, and Lucky Angel or LA, 5, at the Commack Surrogate Court of New York City.
Gabriel is seeking assistance from President Arroyo and Foreign Affairs Secretary Blas Ople for a third extension of his tourist visa to the US, which expires on Nov. 29.
If Gabriel is unable to stay in the US to attend the custody case hearings, he will lose custody and control over his daughters to their maternal aunt, Melita Domingo-Carr, and her husband Brendan Carr by default.
"Masakit ito. Nawalan ako ng asawa, mawawalan pa ng anak (This is excruciating. I have lost my wife, now I stand to lose my children)," Gabriel told The STAR in a long-distance phone interview.
Gabriel lost his live-in partner, Benilda Domingo, to terrorists during the Sept. 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center (WTC).
Benilda and Gabriel lived together sans marriage for 16 years after a whirlwind courtship that began during a Manila-Laoag trip on a bus Gabriel was driving. Their union produced a son, Daryl, 15, and Yvonne and LA.
Daryl is with Gabriel, and father and son are staying in the home of Gabriel’s sister, Fely Gabriel-Barot, in Woodsite, New York.
The Carr couple have had physical custody of the Gabriel girls since the search for survivors and the bodies of victims killed by the attack on the WTC began.
The Carrs fetched the Gabriel girls from Benilda’s brother Tansing’s Hawaii home after the WTC attack, ostensibly to have the children on hand in New York while authorities searched for their mother or her remains.
Gabriel’s close friend and neighbor in Laoag City, Jun Ullegue, believes the Carrs are seeking custody over the Gabriel girls out of greed: The financial benefits accruing to the dependents of victims of the WTC attack reportedly total $100,000 per child or dependent of each victim, educational benefits up to college, and monthly allowances.
Control over these funds will go to the people who have legal custody of the children of those who died in the attack.
Benilda brought her daughters to Tansing’s home in Hawaii in September 2000, just before she joined her sister, Fely Domingo, in New York, where she was working.
Gabriel initially went to New York to help identify his common-law wife’s remains from among the countless human debris recovered from Ground Zero. There is still no positive identification of Benilda’s remains — no dentures, limbs or other evidence of her death have been recovered. Benilda died 19 days before she was due to fly back to the Philippines and marry Gabriel.
Benilda’s siblings, Fely, Hawaii-based Tansing and Canada-based Recto, are on Gabriel’s side. Gabriel added that Tansing is "rooting for me as the rightful custodian of my daughters."
The Carr camp has already made efforts to discredit Gabriel. "I could not imagine them calling me a drunkard, gambler and killer, but they did," Gabriel told The STAR. He could not describe the pain he felt at what he said were the false accusations the Carr camp made against him.
Gabriel added that the witnesses for his side of the case are yet to be presented, starting with him, Tansing, Recto and Fely.
Despite his need for a third visa extension, Gabriel said he trusts the US judicial system. He told The STAR he expects the Commack court to be impartial in its ruling on the case.
Gabriel said he was able to extend his visa twice, but fears he may lose the case and his daughters if no final decision is reached by Nov. 29 and he is forced to leave the US because he is unable to extend his visa a third time.
However, Grein cannot help Gabriel with his visa problem because Grein "is not an immigration lawyer," Gabriel said. Gabriel has had to give up his job as a bus driver to attend full-time to this custody battle.
The next hearing for the case was set for the end of October, but may be moved to a later date because the court is trying to find a competent interpreter to assist Gabriel when he gives his testimony.
"I understand and can speak English," Gabriel said in Ilocano, his native tongue, "but I can’t comprehend (English) when Americans themselves do the talking."
Ullegue earlier described a copy of the Carrs’ affidavit sent to Gabriel indicating that the Carrs applied for "indefinite custody" of the Gabriel girls and, if Gabriel were to consent, the Carr couple will have "custody and control" over the two children.
"Cesar did not sign it," Ullegue told The STAR.
Ullegue added that the New York court sent Gabriel a copy of the Carrs’ petition for custody of the children. "There’s a space in the document for Cesar’s signature, in case he approves the petition. But my compadre (Gabriel) did not sign (the petition)," Ullague said.
These documents, Ullague added, were intended for the Commack Public Schools in New York where Yvonne is presumably a third grade student.