Mommy & Me

This is a love letter to mommies everywhere from our Kapatid talents who pay tribute to the special relationship between mothers and daughters that remains true and strong through the ages.

I asked four questions at colleagues Cherie Mercado, Lia Cruz, Shawn Yao and Chiqui Roa-Puno on what is it like to think now of their mothers — Paz for Cherie, Boots for Chiqui, Maia for Lia and Emily for Shawn — from the inside looking in. The pressures of deadlines and tight schedules somehow limit the scope of our “informal” survey but our kapatids, nevertheless, honor their mothers in these brief but albeit, the sweetest terms.

Describe your relationship with your mother.

Cherie: “My mom is independent and strong. She’s the type who would rather go out and explore than stay home and cook. She loves to dress up. I remember distinctly a scene in her office where I looked up from my drawing, and saw her working and thought of how beautiful she was. She would always wear feminine clothes at work, she was her boss’ adviser, she was friends with most of her colleagues yet she’d never hesi- tate to stay home when one of us was sick or needed her attention.”

Chiqui: “It is both constant and evolving; she used to be strictly a person of authority; now she is a co-parent. Professional col- league. Eating partner. Travel buddy. 24-hour text mate and Facebook friend. But she will forever be a wellspring of precious wisdom, unwavering support and unconditional love.”

Shawn: “My relationship with my mother is amazing — mostly because she is amazing. I would never, and have never wished for a different mom. She is one tough cookie. I’ve never seen her crack or show weakness, and is always in control of every situation and of herself.”

Lia: “I am pretty sure that the mother- and-daughter relationship is one of the most complicated ones in the universe. Over the years, my mom has transformed from my biggest nemesis in my pre-teen and teenage years, to someone I look up to as a partner.

I guess it takes a certain (enormous) level of maturity to admit that, ‘Gosh, Mom actually was right.’” We’ve been through quite a lot as a family, and I have to come respect and admire my mom as one of the most giving, most selfless and most forgiving people I know. She can be feisty at times, but it’s this quiet strength that I have ob- served in her in the past few years that I have come to admire. Nowadays, she’s really more of a part- ner, a teammate, a sister, whom my siblings and I go through ups and downs with. Also, she has al- ways been our No. 1 one cheerleader and supporter in anything we did or wanted to do. She has done everything for her four kids (five, if you count our dog) — stay up late, drive to the ends of the earth, wait for hours, make huge sacrifices, save money — just so we can do what we want to do.”

In what way are you like her?

Chiqui: “I got from her my love for theater and the arts; she is pleasant and approachable, and I’d like to think I am, too. While we are both busybod- ies, we are at the same time absent-minded. Not a good combination. Mom’s a real cowboy, and so am I — very low-maintenance, easy-going and uncom- plicated.”

Lia: “Growing up, I would have answered that she and I are nothing alike, but the older I get, the more I observe the traits I got from her. First off, we look so much more alike now than when I was younger. I’ve had her old school friends come up to me and guess I was her daughter because, and I quote, ‘we can see her in you.’ I’ve also realized that I get a lot of my interests from her — travel, literature, the arts, dance, theater, crafts. She made me start ballet lessons when I was four because that’s what she loved, and she was a ballerina dur- ing her time. I started reading on my own at three- and-half years old because she read to me so much as a baby and toddler that I learned quickly.”

Cherie: “My love for reading and studying came from our moments of reviewing my lessons togeth- er. She’d work hard but made sure she would pick us up after school. She’s quite an explorer. I got my love for travel from her. She becomes a kid again and has no qualms expressing her amazement with every new thing she discovers.”

Shawn: “I would like to think that (apart from loving word games like Scrabble and crossword puzzles), I emulate her discipline. My mom is the most hardworking and kindest person I know. But don’t get me wrong, she is so cool and also knows how to have fun. She is also not the type to pres- sure you into something you don’t want to do, and sometimes, she will be the one to tell me if she doesn’t think what I’m doing is going to make me happy.”

What is that one most important lesson you’ve learned from her?

Shawn: “The most important lessons I’ve learned from her are to always watch out for yourself, be self-reliant, be mindful of oth- ers and don’t get married young.”

Lia: “Strength can be quiet. I always used to associate strength with being openly tough, showy, outspo- ken, maybe even arrogant. When she would keep quiet and just absorb all the pain in tough situations, I wouldn’t understand it or her. But now I realize that there is a certain grace in accepting a situation, yet not agreeing with it, even fighting it but in a manner that is less radical than what I was used to.”

Cherie: “What I’m very thankful for is my mom’s simplicity and child-like wonderment. She has shown me that it’s okay to laugh hard, to continue to be amazed by the littlest things and to appreci- ate every moment that makes up our day. But most of all, it is her quiet strength that I hope to develop one day. To be the same rock that she is to us and hopefully, I could be to my own family.”

Chiqui: “Both my parents taught us, consistently by example, the importance of basic respect... for oneself and for everyone around you, regardless of background, appearance, stature or even lack of it.”

What was the silliest/ craziest thing you did together?

Cherie: “My first time in New York City was one of my most memorable and fun trips. It was just me and my mom, and my jaw would drop at how tall the buildings were and how crazily crowded it got at rush hour, and my mom would belly-laugh and switch to her native Visayan dialect when she’d get excited. We had such a grand time, we’d head out every after breakfast and return just before mid- night exhausted and satisfied.”

Lia: “Off the top of my head, we used to build giant Barbie communities in the house! She was crazy about Barbie, and of course, as a young girl, so was I. She completely spoiled me and my sister with an amazing Barbie collection, and we would set up complete houses, with all the little food and furniture items. Looking back, that should have been featured on TV!”

Chiqui: “We are always silly. She and I love ham- ming it up for the camera, long before wacky shots became all the rage, especially for souvenir travel pic- tures like this example from 2010 (see photo), taken in the gardens of the Linderhof Palace in Germany.”

Shawn: “My mom and I don’t do silly and crazy things together, because that’s what I do... And she’s the one who bails me out of sticky situations without any judgment. That said, she knows how to have fun and appreciate the little things in life. If I am one iota like her, I know I’ve lived a good life!”

Indeed, the term “mommy dearest” is the ap- propriate appellation for all the moms out there and this coming from their daughters, has a special ring and meaning that only soulmates would know and understand. I would like to end this tribute to all mothers by conveying my heartfelt appreciation to my own mother, Zeny, who has taught me the virtue of generosity, especially towards those who have less in life. Happy Mother’s Day!