Of 'Short' Stores & Stories

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

TRANSLATION (Long time ago): “Sige ka, ‘pag hindi ka tumigil sa kaiiyak mo d’yan, dadating at kukunin ka ng Bumbay!”

According to a DVD titled The History of Christmas, si Bumbay or Saint Nicholas or Kris Kringle or Santa Claus was not born in India... but in Turkey! My son Jako quickly commented, “Ayun, may connection din naman pala sa India eh... at sa Turkey. Kaya pala noong dumating ang mga Puritans sa America at nag-celebrate ng Thanksgiving, na parang Christmas siguro nila noon, ang kinain nila ay TURKEY! At ang kasama nila sa dinner ay mga INDIANS!”

Puede... I was amused... ang anak ko manang-mana sa ama. But I just smiled and gave my “better connection” of things on the Turkish-Christmas link — that the reason why “Little Drummer Boy” is one of the most popularly played during this joyous season — because of ISTANBUL!

By the way, for those interested, I purchased that DVD at the HMV store in Kowloon. And here’s good news for those who believe that Hong Kong is heaven. There is a new place to go to and shop at and do other things in HK — it is called ELEMENTS. The famous Sherlock Holmes line is now complete and with a real Hong Kong flavor to it — “Elements, my dear Watson’s!”

Eto pa ang maganda — Elements has its own HMV store inside this gigantic five-zone mall! Siyanga pala, it is not true that because the very first HMV store was in London, its initials meant “Her Majesty’s Video.” If you care to know, HMV means “His Master’s Voice.” There is a very long story to it.

And now, we go from “His” to “Hers” — at eto pa ang mas maganda — for those who go for not-so-expensive but fashionable things, Elements has a huge H&M store in it! Ops, hindi dahil pinag-usapan natin kanina ang Bumbay, ang ibig sabihin ng H&M ay hindi Hulugan & Mura! It’s Hennes & Mauritz. And you might be wondering why I mentioned “hers” earlier... well, “Hennes” is Swedish for “Hers.” Again, there is another very long story attached to this.

And inasmuch as we are only taking up short-named stores and establishments in Elements in today’s article, I will reserve the shortest for last.

They have a luxury boutique hotel known worldwide — W Hotel! O, di ba ang ikli? One letter lang! It is the fastest growing luxury hotel brand in the world. The hotel connects directly to the one million square foot Elements luxury shopping mall. W Hotel boasts of state-of-the-art rooms and facilities including Hong Kong’s most highly elevated rooftop swimming pool on the 73rd floor! To make the long story short as its name, puntahan na lang n’yo!

And don’t bother anymore to ask what the letter “W” means. I did already. From different characters working in the hotel came different answers — “Whatever, Whenever!”, “World”, “Who, What, When, Where”, “Wanderlust”, “Westin, yata!,” “Winner,” “Wonderful” and a lot more. In short, Waley! Wala talaga.

By the way, though short in name, wala ditong short time!

* * *

Today, is the opening of my good friend Igan D’Bayan’s exhibit called FILIPINIANA DIABOLICA: Folk Tales from the Darkside at the Kaida Gallery, Second Floor, GFO Building, 122 Kamuning Road in Quezon City. Siguradong demonyo ‘tong show na ‘to! Eh paano, siguradong nandoon ako!

Also tonight, Mel & Joey will feature a very special segment on Joey de Leon’s Tease Shirts!

Question: Ano ang tawag sa suot ng taong iisa lang ang tee shirt? Eh di... TIIS SHIRT!

O, konting tiis na lang mga KAWANBOL ko, 25 days to go at ISKUL BUKOL: The Grand Reunion na!