To forgive and be forgiven

The celebration of Elderly Week once again brings back memories of the time we at the Federations of Senior Citizens were tasked to organize and  supervise activities for the said event. 

We would cook up activities to energize the ageing, so  that they may attain a satisfying quality of life, even in their sunset years.

Activities ranged from recreational to educational to spiritual, to  cultural. Many enjoyed the film showings, especially if they focused on The Golden Pond.

The 1981 movie stars Katharine Hepburn, Henry  Fonda, Jane Fonda, Dabney Coleman, Dovy McKeon and others. Katharine and Henry won Best Actress and Best Actor Oscars, respectively.

Retired 80-year-old Norman Thayer and wife Ethel have spent summers at their New England cottage on Golden Pond for many years. But this summer, their daughter Chelsea (Jane), whom they haven’t seen in years, feels she must be there for what may be her dad Norman’s last birthday. Soon, Chelsea shows up with her boyfriend Bill Ray (Coleman) and his 12-year-old rebellious son Billy (McKeon). The boy is his son from a previous marriage.

Conflicts between father and daughter, which have been going on for years, further develop upon Chelsea’s arrival at the lake. As always, Norman and Chelsea fight constantly. This is aggravated by Chelsea and Bill’s plan to leave Billy behind to stay at the cottage while they head for their honeymoon in Europe, to be back in a couple of weeks.

There was the initial resentment, especially since Norman is no longer as strong and alert as he used to be.

A retired professor, Norman is also an avid fisherman. He and Billy develop a genuine friendship while fishing. From Los Angeles, and with no experience whatsoever in fishing, he soon learns to love the sport. Along with the love for the simple pleasures, he develops a love for Norman just as Norman learns to love Billy and  later becomes instrumental  in the resolution  of the strife between father and daughter.

Hepburn turns in a brilliant performance as Ethel, the stabilizing force in the family. In that part where Norman and Chelsea fight, as they usually do, Ethel loses her temper, and delivers one of the most unforgettable lines in cinematic history, “It so happens that the bitch  is my husband!” That, to me, is the defining moment in the movie, her love for him shining through!

On Golden Pond is a feel-good family movie, with insights on family and ageing. It tackles the relationship the young woman shares with the father while growing up, as well as the difficulties a couple in encounters.

Oh, how our elderly groups, critiquing the movie after every showing, could relate to the generation gap and the way the story manages to resolve the family conflict. For, after all, they realize that the home is a haven of comfort and peace.

Each of us has his own faults and transgressions. And at home — more than any other place on Earth — we can forgive and be forgiven. Time and memory are so fleeting, so we must savor it every moment. Otherwise, it will flutter away, without us noticing it.