Ever been mistaken for a waiter?

That altercation at the Embassy Bar between Bong Alvarez and Borgy Manotoc as promptly reported by Ricky Lo’s Funfare last week created quite a stir within the entertainment circle. Names were unnecessarily dragged and details in Bong and wife Almira Muhlach’s marital conflict had to be discussed on free TV on S-Files last Sunday.

And this was only because Bong mistook Borgy’s girlfriend Ornussa Cadness for a waitress.

I believe that it was an honest mistake on the part of Bong Alvarez. These things happen all the time. It happened to me many times before with me being mistaken for a waiter.

The first time I had this experience was at the wedding of the late journalist-lawyer Sonia Dipasupil Barros. I think that was my karma for skipping the church rites and proceeding straight to the reception like they will run out of food and I won’t be able to get my share on the buffet table.

I remember I was with this paper’s assistant entertainment editor Maridol Rañoa (yet to be Bismark-ed) and when we got to Manila Garden (this hotel has changed names so many times I don’t know anymore what it’s called today) the ballroom was still closed and we waited outside. When Maridol excused herself to go to the powder room, I stood alone in the lobby and then it happened: One of the guests a well-dressed, but plump matron tapped my shoulder with her perfumed Spanish fan and complained why WE haven’t opened the door of the ballroom yet. What the hell was she talking about?

And then I realized that I was sporting a black formal jacket and obviously she mistook me for a waiter. After realizing her mistake, she spun around without even bothering to apologize to me. (At least Bong Alvarez apologized!)

During the wedding reception, I made sure I sat tables and tables away from this matron far enough for her to order me to serve her soup and appetizer.

On another occasion, I found myself having a nightcap with friends at the lobby of the Manila Peninsula after attending a formal gathering in another hotel. I was in a black tuxedo and on my way to the little boys’ room, Mommy Rose Flaminiano of FLT Films stopped me on my tracks and asked for the menu. This was shortly before I joined television and clearly she didn’t know me (but I recognized her because she was high profile then as a movie producer). Politely, but still with a hint of irritation, I told her, "Sorry, Ma’am, but I don’t wait on tables here." Promptly, she apologized: "Ay, sorry, ‘di ka pala waiter."

For the next hour or so, I just sat there quietly in our table visibly annoyed and it was obvious to everyone that my night was ruined. But no one had a clue as to what happened because the last thing I wanted to do was tell them that I had been mistaken for a waiter!

I was still furious that night I went to bed. Me a waiter? That question kept reverberating in my head.

And then I went deep into my thoughts: How bad is it to be mistaken for a waiter? I started thinking and thinking and thinking. No, it can’t be all that bad. Waiters are supposed to be personable that’s a requirement. If people keep mistaking me for a waiter, then I must be personable pleasant in appearance and personality. Oh, what a compliment!

Most waiters are also supposed to be healthy and young. Is this why I haven’t been mistaken for a waiter lately? Sniff. If they ever do, they’d most probably mistake me now for a headwaiter.

Seriously, the only reason why we get offended when we are mistaken as part of the serving staff in any establishment is that society tends to look down at these people who make an honest living by making life easier by waiting on us.

I suggest we do something to change the way we look at these very nice people. (And you better treat them well because you’ll never know what they can do to your food if you are rude to them). Maybe media can start giving more importance to the role they play in the pecking order of life. Perhaps TV and the movies can show how it is not really all that demeaning to be waiting on people. And to all writers of comedy, please stop making jokes about waiters and waitresses and how some people are "mukhang katulong."

Going back to that tiff at the Embassy Bar involving Bong Alvarez and Borgy Manotoc, I fully understand how Ornussa felt after having been mistaken for a waitress having told you about my experiences being mistaken for a waiter. I don’t blame her at all although like what I did, she can look at the bright side: People find her personable.

Of course, in Ornussa’s case, she’s more than that. She’s really lovely and shapely. But there are waitresses like that. Before stardom beckoned, erstwhile sex goddess Klaudia Koronel used to serve beer in a joint near GMA 7.

But really, since she’s quite young, I feel for Ornussa and how she is hurt and her ego bruised after having been mistaken for a waitress.

But wait, in one of the interviews done by Ogie Alcasid (a witness to the incident at the Embassy Bar), the singer-comedian said that it was an all-male wait staff that was serving them that night. Could it have been possible that Ornussa was actually mistaken by Bong Alvarez for a waiter? I hope he didn’t holler to her: "Boss! Tsip!"

In that case, hold it right there while I confront Bong in Ornussa’s defense.