CHERRY GIL: A winner all the way - CONVERSATIONS with Ricky Lo

Several days after she was named Best Supporting Actress of the just-concluded Metro Filmfest 2000 for her performance as a loving but neglectful unwed mother in Regal Films’ Sugatang Puso, Cherie Gil is still glowing with that victorious smile on her face.

She shows up for this Conversation/pictorial at a suite at the towering Discovery Hotel in Ortigas Center with husband Roni Rogoff, the famous international violinist, their two kids Bianca, 5, and Raphael (fondly called Poofy), 3, and Cherie’s son (from a previous relationship) Jay, turning 13. They live at their own unit at the nearby Residencia but the place "is a mess," according to Cherie, thus the last-minute change of location.

Cherie has been home since middle of last year purposely to resume taping for the Viva soap May Bukas Pa and, on the side, finish her award-winning movie. Roni has been coming for a visit, looking forward to having the family gathered back in their home in Vicenza, Italy, this summer.

Jay (who used to be called Jayme, "But he’ll scold me if you keep on calling him Jayme," smiled Cherie) is studying at Brent while the two little ones are enrolled at a nursery school near their place in Pasig City.

The doll-like Bianca is dressed to the nines, ready for her close-up, but she’s throwing a little tantrum because she’s hungry and nagging Mama Cherie about it. After the family pose, however, and she and Poofy are alone in the adjacent room with photographer Richard Chen, Bianca is in her element, smiling and making happy faces for the camera.

Cherie was a "surprise" winner at the Metro Filmfest 2000 Gabi ng Parangal even if her Sugatang Puso performance stood out in the bumper crop, and Cherie herself couldn’t believe that she won - until now.

Having been away for a few years, how did you feel during the awards night?

"Well, it wasn’t my first nomination since I came back. I was also nominated late last year in the Star Awards for Television (for the soap May Bukas Pa). All my contemporaries were also nominated in that awards – Rio (Locsin), Sandy (Andolong) and Amy (Austria) – so I was excited."

Was the (Metro Filmfest 2000) Gabi ng Parangal your first victorious awards night that Roni attended?

"Actually, the first and most important awards was the 1988 Film Academy Awards where I won as Best Supporting Actress (for Bukas Ay Akin). That was 13 years ago when our relationship was just starting. But 1989 was the best year of my career dahil sunud-sunod ang awards ko. I was nominated for both films that I did that year, Imortal and, yes, Bukas Ay Akin. At times, ang kalaban ko ang sarili ko."

And it turned out that Roni was the biggest trophy that you won, and vice-versa.

(Laughs) "I believe so! At that time, Roni was God-sent. You know, hindi natin maikakaila that before then, my career was on a downswing and things were not working well in my personal life. I was trying to find myself, to put things in perspective. When Roni came into my life, everything just fell into place. Gumanda na lahat after I met him, both my career and my personal life."

How did you help Cherie find herself?

Roni: By loving her. By supporting her. By believing in her. And by putting up with her craziness.

Such as what craziness?

Cherie (Laughing): Yeah, such as what craziness?

Roni (Thinking awhile): Such as her insecurities, her inconsistencies. She also puts up with my own craziness.

Such as what craziness?

Roni: Scheduling her activities to fit my own activities, constant travelling... not being home because I was always travelling... Wait a minute, did you ask me how I helped Cherie find herself?

Yes, I did.

Roni: Well, in addition to what I already said, it’s also by trying to be her best friend... by listening to her heartaches, joys and dreams - and her failures, too. I acted as the wind beneath her wings. If she wanted to fly, I was there to prop her up. If she falls, I’m always there to help up rise again, and fly again.

Cherie: He always stands by me; he’s always there beside me and behind me. I think Roni’s major gift to people he comes in contact with is that he treats them all with the same importance, the same time and the same attention. He’s a giver, a good listener. A good listener is a good friend, and Roni is like that.

You’ve known each other for 14 years and been married for seven years. You were married twice, weren’t you? First in Catholic rites and then in Jewish rites.

Cherie: That was our initial plan but it never happened. The first one was supposed to take place in Israel but we postponed it for several reasons. We had already sent out more than 150 invitations at that time and then when we decided to postpone it, because we felt it wasn’t the right time, we had to send out more than 200 announcements saying we decided to move the date. That was in 1992.

So when did you finally get married?

Cherie: Two years later, in 1994, here in the Philippines.

Roni: Initially, we wanted to hold it in Pennsylvania, on a hot balloon. But we discovered that the date we chose coincided with the Day of Atonement in the Jewish tradition, so most of our (Jewish) friends couldn’t join us.

Cherie: When we finally pushed through with our wedding, we decided to do away with the big "movie production" and have a simple, quiet one, officiated by a justice. We invited only very few people, including Sharon (Cuneta) and Ramon Orosa who read verses from the Bible during the ceremony. It had a combination of all. I had the dogs and a chuppah (like a canopy) which is also part of the Jewish tradition. And Roni also broke the glass, also part of the Jewish tradition.

What do you think makes the marriage work?

Roni: In the beginning, it could be love, it could be sex, it could be just fascination, it could be dependence on each other. In the long run, I think what keeps this marriage and other marriages work is love. There should also be mutual respect. Do you remember that scene in Fiddler on the Roof? The fiddler asks his wife, "Do you love me?" And the wife answers, "For 25 years, I gave you children, I raised your children, I milked your cows, I did this, I did that... so I suppose I do." I guess it’s how a couple treat each other in their daily life, how they give each other space, how they care and respect and love each other.

What is it in Roni that you didn’t find in other men?

Cherie: A lot! There are a lot of admirable traits that I find only in Roni, packaged with good looks pa! And fashion sense! What more can I ask for? He’s Mr. Calm, Mr. Cool. He always on an even keel; he’s got a sense of stability and sureness about himself and what he believes in and where he wants to go. I must admit I need that stability. At first, it was a need. Roni gave me a sense of comfort; he’s a well-travelled man and I’m forever in awe of stories he’s telling me about people he meets and places he goes to. He knows so much. He opened my mind and my eyes to the reality that there’s so many more people to meet and so many more places to see, so many more things to know. Roni has enlightened me about many things.

You’re seeing the world with him.

Cherie: I remember my Mom (Rosemarie Gil) telling me when I was a little girl, "Don’t confine yourself to this little environment because this is just one speck of dust compared to the rest of the world. Open your eyes." So when Roni came into my life, I told myself, "Ah, maybe this is really fate." Finally, I was having a relationship with someone who’s taking me seriously for once.

What do you mean "taking me seriously for once"?

Cherie: Well, you know, I’m a very complex person, I come from a very complex background and a very complex family, very interesting and very colorful, and on top of that I belong to a very complex business. Roni took me as a person who had feelings, not just as an actress who had a face and a body and a name who have elated any man I was with at that time. In short, they didn’t accept me completely. With them, it was more physical and the fun I could offer them. The moment my complexity surfaced, they were not tolerant to accept it or to survive it. You know, matira ang matibay. Roni has proven to be the most matibay (sturdiest) of them all.

Was it attraction, if not love, at first sight between the two of you?

Cherie: Oh, yes, it was!

Luckily, you were both free at that time. (Note: Roni was then already divorced from his first wife, former model Ping Valencia, with whom he has a beautiful daughter, Renee, 22, who’s working at the Paramount Studio in L.A.)

Roni: Oh, yes, we were!

So how did the first meeting go?

Cherie: By chance, I got invited to a party hosted by Roni for his lady friend, actually his "ex" who was celebrating her birthday. I had just taped a show for George Sison and George said, "Come, let’s go to a party." Just as I was walking into the restaurant, I saw Roni bringing another lady to a car, a beautiful lady we both knew. Ang daming ladies-in-waiting, they were all over! When our eyes met, I asked him, "Hi! Are you the violinist?" He looked at me and said, "You seem very hairy. Are you Israeli?" It turned out that there were two things he was trying to avoid that night - to be with an Israeli and be with a Gemini. I don’t know if I have Jewish ancestry but I’m sure I’m a Gemini.

But you did click. What was it that you first noticed in each other?

Roni: Her eyes. They are very expressive. The most beautiful pair of eyes I’ve ever seen and looked into. Those eyes tell me what a good person she is.

Cherie: I guess it was his eyes, too. They’re very intense.

How long did the courtship last?

Roni (Deadpan): Twenty-four hours!

Cherie (In mock surprise): What courtship!?!

Wow, it was a long courtship!

Cherie (Now joking): He put his arms around me, almost raping me, and I didn’t have any choice. I was a willing victim.

Did he say it with flowers or flowery words, with love notes or romantic strains from his violin (how very romantic!)?

Cherie: He simply floored me. Mabilis siya. I don’t know what he did... he didn’t do anything much!

Roni: Those eyes really got me. Even now, all I have to do to find out what she feels or what she wants is look at those eyes and I’ll know.

Cherie: When Roni and I met, I at once felt that he’s the man I could bond with. Only a few days with him and I was sure he’s the man I’d love to be with for the rest of my life, the man whose children I wanted to bear.

Having come from different cultures, what sort of adjustment did you have to do?

Cherie: Major adjustment. I’m not ashamed to admit that we’ve gone through consultations, a marriage seminar and some conferences to help us work things out. Just like in any marriage, we’ve gone through challenges and trials and we’re beautifully surviving them. According to one pastor, there are five breakdowns in a marriage - 1) Cultural Background Differences, 2) Religious Background, 3) Blended Family, 4) Age Difference, and 5) Roots. We were then into our eighth year of being together and we told each other, "Boy, we deserve a tap on our shoulders!"

You did give up your career at a time for Roni.

Cherie: Roni was willing to fly to wherever I was and that was part of the adjustment, too. In my case, it wasn’t really giving up my career; it was just the perfect time for me to open another door in my life and to be something else – you know, to be a mother and a wife. So I joined Roni for seven years in New York. Before that, I would fly back and forth, joining Roni wherever he was performing - in America, in Europe, in South America, everywhere! Back and forth, back and forth. So in 1994, we decided to get married and settle down in New York and then in Pennsylvania until 1996 when we decided to move to Italy.

Roni: At that time, I was travelling often to Italy building my orchestra so we might as well take up residence in Italy.

I understand you led a quiet and simple life in Italy, more laid-back than your more frenzied life in New York.

Cherie: We live in a small town called Vicenza, 40 minutes ride away from Venice (Roni’s working area), very quaint and quiet, the birthplace of Palladio, the Father of Architecture in Italy. A lot of the buildings in that town were built by Palladio himself. I was very domesticated in Vicenza, far different from life in New York. In New York, you have 365 days a year and you can’t even hope to eat in all the restaurants. In Vicenza, we have only two favorite restaurants and they close pa at 10 p.m. We don’t live in a cosmopolitan city like Milan or Rome or Venice.

Your mention of "blended family" a while ago makes me wonder, how did you and Roni first dealt with each other’s children from previous relationships?

Cherie: You know, I was just blessed that Renee isn’t a bitch because there are a lot of stepdaughters who can be bitchy; I was one of them. She was nine years old when I first met her and she has been very accepting and accommodating. From the start, there was a mutual liking for each other. We’re friends. But I did experience challenging times with Renee because when we all started living together as a family in Pennsylvania, I was groping on how to bring up my own eight-year-old son (Jay) and trying hard to be a good mother and friend to the adolescent Renee. Things turned out pretty well. I love Renee like my own daughter. (Note: Renee is in constant touch with her biological mother.)

Roni: Jay was barely a year old when Cherie and I met.

Cherie: Roni is the sole Daddy that Jay recognizes. Jay has never known any other father but Roni all his life.

You were finally settling down in Vicenza when the offer from Viva Films/Television came, di ba?

Cherie: That was in the middle of 1999. I thought doing May Bukas Pa (still going on until now) was a good chance for me to come home and work and take a vacation at the same time, Roni agreed. I’d been gone for seven years. So I came back in late 1999, returned to Italy and came back again in April last year. I’ve stayed since then, but not for good. It’s the first time for Bianca and Poofy to visit the Philippines. Besides, Jay wanted to study here. He’s enrolled in first year high school at Brent.

So how did you fit Sugatang Puso into your tight schedule?

Cherie: It wasn’t really so hard because I shot for only five days. You know naman how direk Joey (Javier Reyes) works, ang dali-dali. You start at 9 a.m. and you’re done by 9 p.m. I couldn’t turn down the role; it’s a good role, very different from the roles I’ve done in the past, very off-beat just like my role (as a lesbian) in Ishmael Bernal’s City After Dark (also produced by Regal Films, like Sugatang Puso).

Sugatang Puso marks a full circle in your career in a way, you having done your first solo starrer also for Regal.

Cherie: That’s right. My first-starring movie, Problem Child, was done in 1980 with Joey as the scriptwriter and Totoy Jacinto as cinematographer, who also both worked with me in Sugatang Puso. Ngayon, si Mother (Lily, Regal Matriarch) na naman ang nagbigay sa akin ng biyaya, so thank you very, very much, Mother, for believing in me, thank you for being a mother in more than just the showbiz sense. My award also marks another "full circle" in my career. A few years ago before I left for New York, I also won the Best Supporting Actress award (for Imortal) in the Metro Filmfest.

So it’s your fourth visit since Cherie and the kids came home last year. I could imagine what a honeymoon you and Cherie are having everytime you’re here.

Roni (Still deadpan): No. Not really. But I do count the days until I am again with Cherie and the kids. By March, we should all be together again in our home in Vicenza. But we’re planning to move again, this time to the Palma de Mallorca in Spain.

Cherie: What’s important in a marriage is the commitment and the decision. We don’t know how long we’re gonna live. Who knows, tomorrow something might happen and I may go, who knows? What matters are the things in-between, the changes. There’s no denying that there have been a lot of changes in our relationship. The first phase was the coming and the going, the second phase was living together in different places for seven long years, and now he’s giving me this time off to come back and recharge myself by doing something that I love. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for Roni because the kids are with me and he’s staying alone in Vicenza. I can imagine how he feels walking alone into the apartment and seeing all the toys and the things around. I really thank him for allowing me to indulge myself.

When abroad, what do you miss most about the Philippines?

Cherie: My family, of course (meaning her parents, Eddie Mesa and Rosemarie Gil, and her brothers Mark and Michael and their respective children). And also, the camaraderie on the (movie/TV) set and not so much the acting part although I crave for it, too. Home will forever be in your heart no matter where you go and where you are.