Por vida Slimming Down

CEBU, Philippines – I don’t really understand the way people conduct themselves with food. Parents feed their children so much to the point that the little ones would almost vomit out of satiety. The family seems to take pride in having kids that look like piglets.

Then, growing up, the fat kids begin to hate their parents for making them look that way. In revenge, they demand that Mom and Dad enroll them in the best fitness club around and supply them with the most expensive slimming concoctions there are.

And the parents would obediently comply with whatever orders their heavyweight teenagers give them. By this time, their own concept of “beautiful children” has changed. They now want the exact opposite of the look they previously wanted for the kids. From bloated, they now want them to look famished!

The skeletal look is a modern fad. The serious aspirants are very choosy with their food. They munch the same things that, back in the province, I myself used to feed our goats with. And yet, they are quite proud to tell their friends about what they eat.

We are all confused about which foods are fattening and which foods are not. Don’t tell me you aren’t. Unless you’re the reigning Miss or Mr. Universe.

If you scan the pages of today’s newspapers and magazines, chances are nine times out of ten that you’ll find an advertisement of a new, improved, easy, foolproof, delicious way to lose weight and still enjoy all you want of your favorite foods—so long as they’re raw alugbate, eggplant, bananas, ipil-ipil leaves, and pure okra shake.

The big, bold types leap out of the pages: “7 Magical Ways to Lose Weight!” “A Sure-Fire Diet!” “Our New Computerized Diet. Lose Weight at a Click of the Mouse!” “Shed Off Pounds with the Amazing Chicken Beak Diet Soup!” “The Secret Diet of Fat Movie Stars Revealed!”

I’ve had enough of it myself. Not the diets, but those kinds of tales about diets. I’m not really an extremely overweight person, only that I think a smaller body size will better complement my height. I’ve tried it all, at one time or another—gym, jog, fast. Yet I’m still in the same body I always had.

Now, I’d like to give an advice back to the people who formulate those diet programs: Stop it! If you are really knowledgeable, you know where the real problem lies. If you don’t, then all the more you don’t have any right to give fat people any prescription.

I know why people get fat. They eat too much, that’s why. Telling a fat person how to lose weight is like telling an alcoholic how to keep from getting drunk. It’s like telling a teenage girl what not to do if she doesn’t want to get pregnant.

Don’t we know what causes these things? Of course, we do! Drunkenness is brought on by alcohol, unplanned pregnancy by unprotected sex and excess body weight by too much food consumption. Think of what all those diet programs do. All they do is try to make you eat less. Is that something you are not capable of realizing on your own, without some so-called diet professionals telling you?

I’ve never been able to take a diet program seriously. Consider, for instance, the supposedly proven banana diet program that a friend once gave me. I should go on it for at least two weeks, he said, and there surely would be visible “improvements” by the second weekend. Let me share it with you, but without endorsing it:

Breakfast:

•One pc fresh banana

•One cup toasted banana chips (toasted, not fried)

•One glass banana shake, no sugar

Lunch:

•One pc boiled banana

•One cup dried banana chips (dried, not fried)

•Two quick licks on a banana candy

Supper:

•One cup mashed boiled banana (no butter)

•Two tbsp of banana/chocolate chips ice cream (chocolate chips removed)

I don’t mind having my meals broken down for me into units of measurement I don’t understand. But, please, give me something my taste buds will at least enjoy a bit. I understand, however, that all I need to do in order to lose weight is not eat so much; that it’s okay to eat what I like, so long as I take them only in small portions.

Exercise, of course, is also very important. But even such activity should be done in moderation. Too much exercise can drain your energy and tire your muscles that it leaves you sluggish in the end. Good if you have nothing to do afterwards but sleep, which is sure to bring back in some of the fat you earlier burnt.

The best weight-loss story I’ve ever heard came out of a program conducted years ago by a certain university in the US. I’ve forgotten the university, but I remember the story well.

They asked for grossly overweight volunteers who wanted to slim down. Those who responded were listed down and then told to go back home. They were instructed to keep careful records of every single thing they ate for the next three weeks.

At the end of the three weeks, the volunteers came back with their records and were housed in the university under strict supervision. They were allowed no visitors and, to prevent cheating, they weren’t allowed to leave the building. For the next three weeks, each volunteer was fed everything he or she had put on the record as having eaten in the previous three weeks.

If a volunteer said he ate a hamburger and a big slice of cake for lunch at home, he got a hamburger and a big slice of cake for lunch at the university. If one admitted she had before snacked on a chocolate bar in the afternoon, she got a chocolate bar for snack in the afternoon now.

At the end of the second three-week period, the volunteers, all eating under strict supervision, had lost an average of 20 pounds each. One woman lost 35 pounds eating exactly what she said she’d been eating all along.

What do you think is the secret? Well, it’s very clear. When it comes to excess body weight and diet, we cheat ourselves often and swear to our friends how faithful we are with our diet programs.

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