Moon and beer mix

Two men idling under a starry night

Make odes to the moon and bottled spirits like ale

Frothy with myths and fantastic claims

To a 7-year-old then, it sounded science that’s fair.

Mr. B: Beer comes from heaven,

Mr. C: So does the moon.

B dares “Beer can of course cure cancer!

C goes “The moon makes us crazier.”

“Beer has kinder alcohol than those from grapes,” B exclaims

C goes “The moon when we sleep, shines like an elegant dame.”

B adds that “Beer is made purely from plants!”

C says the moon has no gravity that glues earthlings to the ground like ants.

Eventually, I learned science from school and books

And from humans who can brew good science even in drunken nooks

So to those two drunken fellas if your cells are still awake

Here’s what I learned since those days you sat on that store by the lake.

The moon came from the Earth when it was hit

By a rock that rivals Mars’ size

Chunks came off, formed, and orbited its source

Tied by gravity to behold.

Beer also comes from the earth and from hops which grow in vines,

Mixed with grains like barley becoming sugar so fine

Yeast joins the mix turning those sweets to spirits.

Yeast is not plant or an animal but a fungi — that’s it!

Beer cannot cure cancer but it does have xanthahumol

It is some antioxidant that they say cure some ills if not all.

But you have to drink 450 liters a day to see an effect

So your heart may beat well but your liver’s wrecked.

The moon cannot make you crazier

Than humans already are

If your parents cannot control you a few feet away

Why bank on the moon 226,000 miles afar?

Alcohol is alcohol whether from beer or wine

Yes, beer may contain less per bottle,

Yet drinkers are known to just drink more

To make up for the latter.

The moon does not have light

Not like our sun, a certified star

The moon is an elegant dame from borrowed sunlight

When your part of the world’s not facing the sun.

I know those drinkin’ fellas will never read this versed mix

But who cares, I got to tickle your heads

And unhinge my brain

With facts on the moon and spirited ales.

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