A time to cry and a time to laugh

“Puede na tumawa. Wala na si Pepeng! (We can laugh now. Pepeng is gone!).” I got that e-mail forwarded by a friend. Well, if typhoons can laugh, Pepeng is laughing back because as of this writing, he is turning back, making a “U-turn” since it is being sucked by another storm approaching our area. Should we then reschedule our laughter till we are way past storm season? Is laughter really only a reaction to something funny?

Science has revealed that for the most part, we do not laugh because something is funny. We laugh mainly for social reasons, to connect with one another. Laughing is more than a validation of a good joke; it is a sense that in the background, normal life still moves and that we will somehow, again be part of it. And while the Philippines has had to accept, without resort, the tragic winds and rain of Ondoy and Pepeng, it was time for science to breathe the lighthearted air of the IgNobel Prizes — for “research that make people laugh then think.” The traditionally irreverent ceremonies were held last Oct. 1 at Harvard’s Sanders Theater.

The IgNobel Public Health Prize which has grabbed the headlines was the bra that converts into one or more gas masks. It was awarded to Elena N. Bodnar, Raphael C. Lee, and Sandra Marijan. In a 15-page patent document of the invention, complete with illustrations, the researchers detailed how a brassiere could save the wearer and a bystander from air contamination. In the light of the recent storms, having any undergarment convert into a flotation device would have been lifesaving. Laugh out loud footages for sure but life-saving, nonetheless.

For beer drinkers who end up in bar fights, take heed. The IgNobel Peace Prize went to a study entitled “Are Full or Empty Beer Bottles Sturdier and Does Their Fracture-Threshold Suffice to Break the Human Skull?” They scientifically concluded that you can crack a human skull with an empty beer bottle than a filled one. The researchers were Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael Thali and Beat Kneubuehl of Switzerland and the study was published in the Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine in April 2009. The IgNobel for Chemistry was given to Javier Morales, Miguel Apátiga, and Victor M. Castaño of México, for creating diamonds from tequila. So gentlemen, on engagement night, offer her tequila and tell your fiancée that science has just proven that given the right method, it will eventually turn into diamonds.

I could not stop laughing as I read the paper of Dr. Unger and his study “Does Knuckle Cracking (KC) Lead to Arthritis of the Fingers?,” Donald L. Unger, Arthritis and Rheumatism, vol. 41, no. 5, 1998. His study won the IgNobel for Medicine. He actually diligently cracked the fingers of his left hand for over 50 years and concluded that it was a myth to conclude that you get arthritis from KC. I also read the review of his study which was even funnier and therefore Ig-worthy because it said that the study, among other things, should have been blind, in that Dr. Unger should not have known his left from his right. How does one design for that?

Moving on to other body parts and conditions, the IgNobel for Physics went to Katherine K. Whitcome, Daniel E. Lieberman, and Liza J. Shapiro for “Fetal Load and the Evolution of Lumbar Lordosis in Bipedal Hominins,” which is geek talk for finding out why pregnant women don’t topple over. This has to do with the bending lower spine of the women when pregnant and the larger support of the vertebra sideways which aligns women and supports their balance, despite the inner “cargo.” I personally have always wondered about this and tried to ask pregnant women but they just always laugh at my question.

The biology Ig prize is something we can all probably use to get rid of all the refuse we now have to deal with after the floods. IgNobel awardees Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu, and Zhang Guanglei of Kitasato of Japan demonstrated that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90 percent in mass by using bacteria extracted from the feces of giant pandas. Great, science has found one of the greatest solutions to biological waste and it rests on a creature that we are driving to extinction.

For those who were able to save their livestock, particularly cows, you may want to name them if you haven’t yet. The IgNobel for Veterinary Medicine went to Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of the UK, for showing that cows gave more milk if they (the cows) had names. “Naming” turned out to be a reflection of the good relationship that the cows have with humans and less stress for them, I guess, means more milk for us.

The Mathematics prize unquestionably went to Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe’s Reserve Bank, “for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers — from very small to very big — by having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one cent ($.01) to one hundred trillion dollars ($100,000,000,000,000).” Zero solutions for mega problems.

Un-science IgNobels like the one for Economics went to the directors, executives, and auditors of four Icelandic banks — Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, Glitnir Bank, and Central Bank of Iceland — for “demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa — and for demonstrating that similar things can be done to an entire national economy.” The one for Literature went to Ireland’s police service (An Garda Siochana) for “writing and presenting more than fifty traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country — Prawo Jazdy — whose name in Polish means “Driving License.”

Marc Abrams, the organizer of the IgNobels, wrote to me asking that I be on the lookout for IgNobel candidates here. He said that “in particular, the Philippines has not been punching its weight in the competition for Igs. Surely that can be rectified!” So, send me your entries. We need to laugh as much as we need to cry.

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Announcement: Café Scientifique’s An Ode to Words has been rescheduled to this Saturday, Oct. 10 October, 3-5 p.m., at R.O.X., 3/F Bonifacio High Street, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig. This event is free and open to the public. Limited seats are available, with standing room.