Adam has not (yet) left the building

Dear Adam,

Sheesh, it was a false alarm. The past week, news of your pending disappearance has been greatly exaggerated in many science columns and in daily news around the world. But sigh, the celebration was short-lived. We eventually had to arrive at a sober understanding at what the experiment was really all about and it looks like no one can sound the trumpets just yet.

It all started when the published study of Dr. Karim Nayernia and his team came out in the journal Stem Cells and Development last week. They claimed that they were able to develop sperm from stem cells which in turn were derived from an embryo fertilized in the lab. Adam, you and your kind must have noted with your quick wit and sensitivity to detail, that the process did not involve an elaborate mating ritual to coax the sperm out. This proves that sperm need not be the gift from a developed human male body like yours.

But like the critical thinker that most men are, surely you wondered if this laboratory- inspired sperm were the genuine thing. Well, to know that, we should compare similarities and differences. For the similarities, they are quite striking, so you may want to read them sitting down. First, the numbers checked out — the sperm cells contained the same number of chromosomes that naturally occurring sperm does: 23. Next, they did have the identifiable parts of a head and a tail, enabling them to swim toward the egg without asking for directions, and they possess the proteins that the female egg needs to be fertilized.  

But alas, even Dr. Nayernia himself said that these lab sperm could not successfully greet an egg and cause that spark of life. There is an “oomph” factor that natural sperm has that these lab babies do not have and Dr. Nayernia thinks it has to do with the maturity which natural sperm gains from where it lives in the male body (surprise, it is possible for men to have mature body parts). He figured it will be at least five years before science figures out how to solve that. Maybe they will be able to replicate the “natural” environment of the sperm. And that is one of the main reasons why we cannot yet have a celebratory feast.  

The other reason why we still have to be in the esteemed presence of men is that the embryo from which the stem cells were extracted, which in turn yielded the sperm cells, was a male embryo. The scientists, for some reason, could not successfully extract it from female embryos making them suspect that the Y-chromosome, which only male chromosomes bear, has to do with this. Until science finds a way around this, we still need men since they have the built-in biological pockets with the Ys in them.

Dr. Nayernia repeatedly said in interviews that they wanted to do this experiment to study how a sperm develops and come up with cures and treatments for infertility that are caused by problems with naturally occurring sperm. He said they did not do this to render the human male useless, at least biologically. But as with any technology, there may be unintended consequences. At the very least, we certainly gained a ripe open chance for the genders to prove, at least in lively conversations, who can stay and who can leave the building and still give birth to generations of humans.

But Adam, why would a world that has surely benefited in immense proportions from the presence of human males so readily entertain the prospect of a world without men? Well, Adams would say “imagine there’s no heaven” while the rest of us could say, “imagine there’s no hell.”

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