Excuse Me, I’m with the BMW

These past two weekends, I’ve had the privilege of taking home a couple of BMWs, thanks to my job as a columnist and motoring writer for The Philippine STAR and my day job as editor-in-chief of MotorCycle Magazine. Last weekend, I was tooling around in a black 2006 BMW 320i Limited sports sedan courtesy of BMW Group Philippines and the week before that I was scooting around on a silver/gray BMW K1200 R motorcycle from Autohaus BMW.

Before you think that I must be raking in a lot of money from my two jobs to afford these multi-million peso vehicles, let me tell you that you are absolutely mistaken. Motoring journalism doesn’t pay much — but the perks and the privileges, like driving the latest expensive cars or riding exotic motorcycles, are such that a lot of bogus writers ("hawshaw" as we call them) want to get into our beat. There was even a time when, as a new writer, established journalists and auto industry officers tended to look at me and other "newbies" as one of those hawshaw writers and were betting on how long we’d last in the motoring beat. Thankfully, some of us, at least the legitimate ones, were able to establish ourselves and I personally got a big boost by writing for The STAR and for other respected local magazines like Gadgets, Speed and C! and for websites like AutoIndustriya.com.

People who see me with these expensive vehicles tend to think of me as a member of the society’s elite or as a "yuppie" — young urban professional — and treat me as such. Of course, my Mom will tell you that we have some Spanish blood (albeit a small, small amount), so my being a "mestizo" affords me some additional special attention in this colonial-mentality-inclined part of the world.

Now, add in a BMW and the illusion is complete.

These thoughts were playing in my head while I was riding the K1200 R, which was lent to me by Autohaus VP Eymard Aquino, and while I was driving the 320i Limited that was lent to me by Leanna Farrales of BMW Philippines. Just by the sight of these vehicles, security guards stumble among themselves to guide me to reserved parking areas and treat me with extra respect. Building security personnel ask for identification with a cheerful tone instead of the cold, uncaring and bossy voice they use on messengers and delivery boys, even when I’m casually dressed like these messengers and delivery boys. On the road, traffic cops look the other way but wait for the slightest traffic infraction so they can penalize me big time while street beggars surround me like paper clips attracted to a strong magnet. Sorry boys, I think you may have more cash on you than I have on me.

On the big bike, for example, I get an instant audience whenever and wherever I park it. People tend to flock around it, asking about its power, its weight, how it rides and how much it costs. I get comments like "I don’t see big bikes like that around here" or "It looks better in the flesh" or my favorite "I (or my friend, my cousin or whatever) used to have one just like that four years ago". Hmm… let’s see the K1200 R was introduced just two and a half years ago. "Did you or your friend or your cousin buy the prototype or did BMW give out advance orders?" I’m always tempted to ask.

While the K1200 R was with me, I never got directed to park it in some back alley parking for motorbikes. It was always parked in front, prominently gracing the façade of the establishment. The big bike also posed with more people than a celebrity walking in the Downtown area, that it felt as if I was dating (not riding, mind you) a sexy female star. Once I’ve parked it and established communications with an enthusiastic on-looker, it’s a safe bet that they will almost immediately ask you if they can sit on the bike and if you can take their picture on the bike with their camera-phones. Expensive exotic motorcycles have that effect on common folk.

The Bavarian sports sedan, on the other hand, doesn’t get as much attention as the Motorrad because its black finish and four-door styling is about as non-descript as any BMW can get. It’s only the true-blue car buffs who appreciate the 3-series’ lines and you can only really appreciate a 3-series Beemer when you’re the one driving it. However, when other people realize that it’s a BMW, they give a second glance and crane their necks to see who that lucky S.O.B. in the BMW is. Motorists on the road tend to give way as you rush through in the Beemer as do the regular undisciplined lot — jeepney drivers, taxi drivers and bus drivers. It’s as if they’re avoiding any contact with you because they know they won’t be able to afford the repairs if they hit your car or they know they can’t win against you and your high-priced lawyer if you hit theirs.

To be completely honest, these perks and privileges would have been just fine with me, but they normally do not last. In my case, the illusion lasts only for a couple of days because the minute I returned the BMWs, I stopped being John Q. Public and I go back to being plain old Juan dela Cruz. The excitement that I feel every time I get to borrow these expensive cars turns into remorse every time I need to return them because I have a tendency to get spoiled with the luxury, the power and the privilege. While I do not feel this way all the time, there are cars and bikes that I really wish I wouldn’t need to return because they have spoiled me rotten while they were with me.

The truth is our current society is blatantly biased. Having an expensive toy is one way to ensure that the bias is towards you. This is why some people would give an arm an a leg to acquire an expensive vehicle, whether it be a BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Audi, Volvo, Jaguar, Maserati, Ferrari or a Porsche; Or a Ducati, Aprilia, Moto Guzzi, MV Agusta or Harley-Davidson, even if they can’t really afford it. And, unfortunately with my income and my expenses — what with two kids, my own household and all — I really can’t afford it.

So, I hop on my mid-sized motorcycle or ride in my 14-year-old Japanese sedan and go on living and get treated like everybody else, thankful for the brief privilege that I experienced with the BMWs. And thankful that this privilege may yet again be repeated with another future test drive, preferably with another expensive and large luxury car, SUV or sports car or even an exotic motorbike. All other concerns, like traffic, unstable fuel prices and unprofessional law enforcement can take a backseat.

If only he’d come clean on his deadlines more regularly, I’d personally head the James Deakin for President movement! Boy, do you guys like it when he spews fire and brimstone on VIPs (Very Insecure Pricks) and the like. Here are some of your 100% agree text messages regarding his column last week…

Who’s the Very Insecure Prick, James? Come on, just a clue. Next year is election year. He must be a thief in government to be so insecure. — 09202664571

James Deakin has once again given us proof that all of our traffic enforcers are inutile. Just watch tricycles ply EDSA with impunity! — 09173457041

Mr. Deakin, tell your friend to tell his story to the Tulfo brothers. Let’s see how brave they are against VIPs! — Roger Solano, Cavite

You are absolutely correct Mr. Deakin, traffic law enforcers turn their backs on PUBs only to milk private motorists. — 09214329983

I just love the way Mr. Deakin brings out what’s rotten in our midst. Write on and ride on! — 09196776327

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a "Backseat Driver", text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.