The heart of public speaking

A few years ago, I gave a talk to HR Practitioners gathered together in a national conference. After the session, I received a letter that warmed my heart:

Congratulations on a very well-applauded lecture! Not only was it enlightening, but it was also very entertaining. The bits and pieces of insights you shared are lifetime treasures. How I wish I could share them with the rest of my management group.

Words like these remind me why I do what I do. I speak not for fame or money but to help people, add value and hopefully touch lives.

I have encountered people who expressed their desire to speak like me. They asked me to provide tips so here we are — and the following advice I hope will help them understand the heart of public speaking.

The key to successful public speaking lies in building connections with audiences rather than achieving flawless delivery. The ability to connect with people and inspire them while delivering essential messages defines effective public speaking.

Someone once said:

• Applause before a speech begins is faith.

• Applause during a speech is hope.

• Applause when the speech is over is charity.

The most skilled speakers understand that applause holds no real value. It is the lives you touch. When applause arrives, it should be accepted with a humble attitude.

Public speaking isn’t just about words; it’s about the whole package. Harvey Diamond, author of Fit for Life, says:

A speaker’s image will remain in a person’s mind long after the words are forgotten. You can never be overdressed or be too polite. It sends a message of respect for your audience.

I remember a candid lunch with an HRD manager after one of my talks. He looked at my shoes and said, Francis, how can I believe someone talking about success and excellence if he can’t even manage to wear a pair of clean, decent leather shoes?

That stuck. Since then, I’ve made sure even the most minor details of my appearance reflect the message I deliver.

Lilly Walters, in her classic book Your Image on the Platform, advises:

Fashion in the footlights is not governed by the same rules as everyday life. Dress for success from across the room.

For men, this might mean a well-fitted suit in classic, subdued colors. John Molloy, author of Dress for Success, suggests shades that are dull, dark and drab, though a step lighter can still work.

For women, Walters gives practical tips:

• Subdued, solid colors add authority.

• A tailored fit communicates confidence.

• Hair pulled neatly away adds power.

• High heels give sophistication, but only if they are comfortable enough to stand in for hours.

And here’s a practical tip: always check the venue backdrop. One speaker wore a dark blue suit against a dark blue backdrop and practically disappeared. Magic for a magician; not so good for a speaker. When in doubt, bring options.

As the saying goes, You never get a second chance to create a first impression.

Color plays a role, too. Blue conveys intelligence and credibility. Red radiates energy but also signals urgency. Black shows authority but can be overwhelming. Yellow is cheerful but raises anxiety. Choose carefully; your colors speak before you do.

As Danielle Kennedy wisely said:

My choice of clothing comes from a heart decision. What can I wear today to make my audience feel good about me and themselves? I want my clothes to merely be a frame around the love that permeates from my heart.

Even seasoned speakers get nervous. The trick isn’t to avoid it, but to manage it. Here are a few simple techniques:

Don’t hold your notes. Place them on a stand so shaking hands don’t distract.

Rest your hands behind your back or lightly on the lectern.

Begin with a group exercise. It buys time to calm down and refocus.

And remember, real image starts from the inside out. Tom Peters may pace the stage, Ken Blanchard often wears a sports coat, and Winston Churchill was far from perfect in appearance. Yet all made a lasting impact.

Why? Because audiences don’t care how perfect you look. They care how you make them feel and whether your words connect with their lives.

The process of public speaking proves difficult, yet it brings significant personal fulfillment. The effort required to touch lives and move hearts makes every struggle worthwhile. The heart functions as the most potent tool for speech delivery instead of the mouth.

The Bible says: Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.

It’s not the outfit, the shoes, or the flawless delivery that matters most. It’s your heart. As I often remind myself, the mouth is simply the outlet of the heart.

Catch Kongversations with Francis on YouTube and all major podcast platforms—Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and more. Plus, listen to Inspiring Excellence wherever you stream.