Dealing with drama

I have had people of prominence ask me a personal question. “Francis, how do you maintain your composure and remain cool despite challenges and difficulties? How do you develop your high emotional intelligence because you always seem so calm, relaxed, and peaceful?” Both questions are the same though articulated differently.

My response is, “Thank you for the compliment, but I am like the pastor playing golf with a businessman.

Every time this businessman had a bad swing, he would curse and apologize to the pastor and ask, “what is it with you that you never lose your temper even if you had a bad game?” And the pastor replied, “I am quiet, and I seem calm, but every time I spit, the grass dies!”

It gets to me, and I know it should not.

After a presentation or at the end of my three-day leadership training program, one negative comment or feedback gets into my nerves, even when swamped by tons of compliments and positive remarks. Why is this?

I used to have someone who followed me on my FB pages, and for every post I had (and I do this daily), this person under a pseudonym would always respond negatively. While I would have many positive comments, this one negative remark from a suspected troll would upset me.

As a leader, perhaps it gets to you too.

The reality is that you may be the leader, but you cannot win them all. People have their personal views and perspectives. They have ideologies and are deeply entrenched in them. Leaders may not be able to reconcile with everyone as much as they want to, and this is not only the challenge leaders have to face.

I posted this material on my FB, Linkedin, and IG spaces: “Some people may not like you. Not everyone will agree and may even hate you. Certain people would even recruit other people to hate you. Very unprofessional and immature. If this is happening to you, make sure you do not reciprocate. Take the high road, focus on the right things you need, and do it with excellence. The results will speak for you on your behalf.” This post garnered the most likes, comments, and shares I have ever experienced. There are two words to describe this attitude: professionalism and maturity.

Low on emotional intelligence and pessimistic to the core. There are people in the workplace who cannot manage their emotions. They are constantly demotivating colleagues. And worst is, they militantly resist change or initiatives even when business organizations desperately seek ways to survive these uncertain times. While economic and geopolitical tensions make business growth and survival difficult to attain, all this unnecessary drama is unneeded for such a time, but they do not care.

Leaders cannot turn a blind eye and must address the people and their issues skillfully. But first, leaders should make sure that they are united. The challenge in leadership is to see life as it is and keep your heart fully engaged. There are many good people around. However, they have been paralyzed with fear, stressed by the years of lockdown, and anxious about the future. Some people can handle their emotions and many do not. As a leader, you need to keep your heart open for them. The important thing is that the leaders should be unified, and the people should see this.

Think about it in family terms. Kids may be fighting; a lot of drama is happening. But parents can break up a fight between the kids when they see that the parents are in agreement and are unified.

Your key people in your team will not only help unite them, but the people you lead will sense the unity of mission and purpose.

The popular saying is true: “United at the top, united at the bottom. Unity spreads. Divided at the top, divided at the bottom. Division spreads as well.”

When there is a lot of drama happening in your workplace, that is not the job of HR to fix; it is the leader’s responsibility to address the issues. And as I constantly reiterate in my leadership training, leaders are not just responsible for their people’s performance but also accountable for their people’s behavior.

There is a lot of work to be done. Let’s ensure that leaders like you and I will steer our people to focus and expend their energy on things that matter. Let’s make the year a No-Drama Year.

(Francis Kong will run his Level Up Leadership 2.0 Master Class Online on Aug. 17, 18 and 19. For inquiries and reservations, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or and for more information, visit www.levelupleadership.ph)