Single and happy

I was tired but I was happy last week. It was the 13th talk for the week for me. But I drove all the way from Manila to Batangas to take part in a conference for singles. Nine hundred-plus of them gathered together to hear me speak. Until today, I still do not understand how and why God would prepare people to listen to me speak. I am sure this is what they call “Amazing Grace.”

This got me thinking.

There are many people out there who have been single for a while, and they may be starting to feel discouraged that they might never meet someone ever. It’s easy for thoughts like this to pull anybody down. If you, my reader, happen to be one of them, then I would like to offer a few suggestions on how you can be single and be extremely happy. Because, really, you can. Just consider the following things:

1. STOP THINKING LIKE A VICTIM.

I had a heart to heart talk with my daughter Hannah one time. Hannah had just graduated from college, and even while she was still in school, she was already extremely entrepreneurial. I told her, “Hannah, you don’t have suitors, and I don’t see you having many male friends around. You seem to always be at home doing your work or preparing for your next project. Why is this so?”

This daughter of mine, who’s in her mid-twenties, rolled her eyes at me in her trademark style, and said, “Oh forget it Daddy! I have so many plans for my life and so many things I want to do. Being tied down to somebody right now is simply NOT my priority. Besides, you’re my dad and you can provide me with anything I want.” And she looked at me with a sheepish smile.

I feigned horror and said, “You mean you do not want your dad to retire?” “Work harder dad, work harder…. like a horse dad….” And we laughed so hard together. She is single but thinks like a winner, not a victim. Like her, there are many successful single people out there who know firsthand that singleness can be enjoyed.

2. BE PATIENT.

Do not rush into marriage. There are many women I know who rush into marriage simply because they want to escape their current homes, or maybe because they want to please somebody else. Don’t do that!

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and you need to pray for the right person and first become a right person. The next time an insensitive friend or relative approaches you and say, “The clock is ticking…You’re not married yet?” Chin up, look at them in the eye and give a warm smile, and say, “Excuse me, but I am currently…happily self-sufficient!”

3. BE PRODUCTIVE.

You will never be happy unless you are productive. As a single person, there are many things you can do at the moment that many cannot because of family commitments they have to keep. The world needs you to be productive and to contribute to its betterment. And the more you are focused on a cause bigger than yourself, the more you will find happiness and fulfillment.

4. BE POSITIVE AND STAY POSITIVE.

If you study Scriptures, you will find that the apostle Paul stayed single all throughout his life, and he was happy he did. Now that is being positive. There is a term for this - “Blessed Singleness.”

Practice a positive attitude. Realize that life is seriously beautiful. Even though George Clooney isn’t sitting on your couch and proposing marriage, you have other beautiful, things going on for you. Your friends, a dog, a hobby, travel, sports adventure - have you ever taken the time to thank God for all these good things and others that you have but have somehow took for granted? Enjoy the moment. Sing. Write. Dance. Paint. These are wonderful activities but most importantly….serve!

Love God with your entire being, because His is the greatest companionship you can ever have. And with Him, you win big time all the time!

(You can now receive daily inspirational quotes and thoughts from me. Text “Inspire” to 288 for Smart or Sun subscribers, and 2889 for Globe subscribers. Visit facebook.com/franciskong 2 for more details.)