Hard to understand women

A man was walking along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around and saw the coast was clear, so he opened the bottle. A genie then appeared and thanked him for letting him out. The genie said, “I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish you want - but just one wish, because I can only grant one.”

The man thought for a while and said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I become very claustrophobic when I see all that water. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii!”

The genie paused for a few minutes. “No,” he finally declared, “I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

Again, the man thought about his wish. Then he told the genie, “There is one other thing I have always wanted. I have always wanted to understand women – what makes them laugh and cry, why they are temperamental, why they are so difficult to get along with... Basically, what makes them tick.”

The genie considered the man’s request, and replied, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

If you can understand women, then you must be a genius! Some wag attempted to do this and presented these nine words women often use. Consider the following carefully:

* “Fine” – This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to be quiet.

* “Five Minutes” – If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if she said it in the context of the time you’re allowed to still linger on the game on TV before helping around the house.

* “Nothing” – This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

* “Go Ahead” – This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

* “Loud Sigh” – This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about “nothing”. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of “nothing”.)

* “That’s Okay” – This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

* “Thanks” – She is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say, “You’re welcome.” (I want to add in a clause here – this is true, unless the woman says, “Thanks a lot”, in which case, it becomes PURE sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “You’re welcome.” That will bring on a “whatever”.)

* “Whatever” – Is a woman’s way of saying “Nuts to you!”

* “Don’t worry about it, I got it” – Another dangerous statement. This means the woman has asked the man several times to do something, but ends up doing it herself. This will later result in the man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to # 3. Which is of course:

* “Nothing” – This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Women may be difficult to understand. But they are actually wonderfully mysterious. More and more women today are leading organizations, and they’re doing a great job of it. They are to be respected and not to be treated as objects. Do not forget: while the first woman came from man, every single being from then on has to come from women. Read the book of Genesis again.

(I’d love to hear from you! Visit www.franciskong.com to send me your feedback. You can also listen to my radio program “Business Matters” aired at 8 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. during weekdays over 98.7 dzFE-FM, ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)