This is something to reflect on this first working day of the year. In my travels abroad, and that includes the US, Europe, Asia and the Middle East, and a little of Africa, in the last thirty years of my life and career, I always made it a point to talk to and consult with some learned experts in certain areas of interests that fascinate me like politics, law, labor, migration and family relations. One interesting topic that ignites in me some measure of inquisitiveness is the question: what causes spouses to separate or divorce, friends and business partners to part ways, and even organizations, societies and communities to get themselves into intramurals.
In my nine years of living abroad, as a Philippine diplomat in the area of labor migration, three years each in Malaysia, Kuwait and Taiwan, I was given tremendous opportunities to interact with Filipino migrants, both the higher end who are called expats, consisting of top level business executives of global conglomerates, as well as hotel chains or those in the field diplomacy working in embassies, consulates and international organizations like the UN, ILO, UNESCO and the likes. Thus, I made some startling discoveries on what causes relationships to break up and close partners and comrades to quarrel, feud and bicker in some nasty and painful ways.
My findings surprised me. It is not really always and in all cases that betrayal in love or loss of affections that break marriages, shatter families, and end up in long and expensive legal and judicial battles. Most of the times what destroys trust and cause irritations in husband-wife relationships are money matters. The inability of spouses to manage their finances and make both ends meet. It is either the earning side or the spending side or both that creates friction. It is either that the husband's or the wife's earnings are simply not enough and/or the lifestyle and spending habits of the conjugal partner is simply extravagant or even outrageous. Or, that one spouse is secretly siphoning family or conjugal funds and resources to his or her parents and siblings.
In business partnerships, in cooperatives, and even in family or public corporations, financial management or mismanagement, often causes family members or business partners to bicker about money. There shall be endless suspicions and questions on the reasonableness of expenses and the incurring of debts. When checks begin to bounce, when loans become overdue, when demand letters become the rules rather than exceptions, when cases are filed in court and lost, and sheriffs come knocking with their writs of executions and attachments as well as garnishment of bank accounts, then troubles erupt and relationship are shattered.
I have a proposed solution to all these. We should require financial management as a compulsory subject in basic, secondary, and tertiary education. We should require those who apply for marriage license and business license to undergo a "pass or fail" financial literacy course. In my stint as a Labor Attaché in three countries, I have spent all my Sundays teaching OFWs how to manage and invest their money. It is not enough that we give fish or teach people how to fish.
We should teach them how to prosper out of all the fish they catch. To avoid divorces, separations, business break-ups, and organizational and community feuds, it is important that Filipinos have enough knowledge and skills on basic finances.
Good intentions and good manners are not enough. What matters most is competence balanced with character.