Flaming Mushrooms in Florida

CEBU, Philippines - A few years ago when my husband and I lived in New Jersey, we decided it was time to escape to some place warmer, where the people were relaxed and where there was easy access to the beach. Philippines. (Didn’t happen, but we wished.) We settled for South Florida.

Our first target was the beach. As soon as we checked into the hotel, we walked to the beach which was right in front of it. It was a glorious day. The sun was shining brightly, the ocean was inviting, the beach was peppered with families relaxing and having fun. The human activity was the most interesting part of the beach. Sexy women in skimpy bikinis were sunbathing, little kids were playing in the sand, men were playing with frisbees, elderly couples were walking along the shore, teenage boys were skimboarding, kids and their parents were flying kites, people were swimming in the ocean. I watched as a baby girl in diapers crawled on the sand. Her father was crawling right beside her.

We went to the biggest flea market in South Florida, called the “Swap Shop”. The merchandise they offered there reminded me of shopping in Baclaran in Manila. We also went to a smaller market called “Festival Flea Market” in Pompano Beach, where the shopping was better.  We did not miss out on the good restaurants there, either. On our first night we walked from the hotel in search of a certain restaurant we couldn’t find, and ended up in Flanigan’s instead, which had award-winning baby back ribs. It was so delicious, it’s worth going back to South Florida just for it. Another one we went to was a Greek restaurant, where we ordered “flaming mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat.” I thought “flaming” was just a figure of speech, but our waiter actually set the dish on fire, and then doused it with lemon.

“Opa!” he exclaimed.

We met a very cool bartender at the hotel bar. His name was Steve. How many bartenders can you call “distinguished”? Steve was one. He had an air of pride around him. You could tell he valued his job, and that he enjoyed it a lot. He was very attentive to the customers, very engaging and warm. He greeted everyone who came into his bar and shook everybody’s hands. He said he’s been bar tending for 30 years.

“I have a view of the ocean, I smell the ocean air, I get to meet interesting people...The only thing I have to think about is which shirt and shorts to wear to work.” He said his father had a saying. Pay attention, for these are the wise words of a wise man: “If you shovel shit for a living, you better be the best shoveler.” Steve was certainly doing his best at his job. His bar was packed and was like a party during the days he was there. One day we went there and a woman with a sulky face was tending the bar. The bar was empty. We ordered a margarita, and she didn’t even bother to shake it. Needless to say, she didn’t earn a good tip. Nor our respect.

We met a couple in Steve’s bar, Dan and Amy from Cleveland. We had a nice chat, and they invited us to join them for a night in Miami. We went to this club called Mango’s Tropical Cafe on the famous Ocean Drive. It was the loudest, busiest club on the strip. Inside, latin music was blasting, people were literally squeezing through each other because it was packed. They had a little stage where the waitresses and waiters climbed on and took turns dancing. This must be one of the unique and attractive aspects of the place. When you see what the waitresses are wearing, you will know what I mean. They had on skintight, animal-print clothing that left little to the imagination, with low necklines and exposed abs. And they were gorgeous. When these creatures started dancing on stage, it was no wonder why people flocked this club. We went there on a Monday night. I’m afraid to see how busy it got on the weekends.

When we left the bar to drive back to our hotel, we met an older bald man with his shirt open, accompanied by four women dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman before she met Richard Gere, if you catch my drift. I suspected the man was drunk, or I hoped he was, because he said to us, “Yeah that’s right, hold on to your girlfriend, because I’m a pimp, right here.” He was a dummy, that’s what he was.