Don’t be judgmental
A young man criticized his parents for not understanding him. He said that his parents are not like the parents of his close friend who are understanding, loving and communicative. Every dinner time, they talk about what transpired with each other during the day. Whenever the children have a problem, they can open to their parents without fear of being reprimanded or insulted. Their parents treat them with respect.
He asked me why can’t his parents be like them. I told him each parents have different style of parenting and that parenting is not easy. There are no schools that teach parents child- rearing. Whatever parental tactics or strategies that parents have, that’s what they also learned from their own parents. They cannot give what they do not have.
I told him that instead of criticizing or judging his parents, he must understand them. I further told him that when he’ll become a parent someday, he will be able to understand his parents.
“We are all judgmental,” declares writer Leo Babauta. “We judge without understanding. While it is our nature to be judgmental, I don’t think it’s always useful to us. We look down on others, as if we are so much better than them. We see something they do and get angry or disappointed at them.”
Babauta suggests, “Avoid passing judgment; instead build a bridge between two human beings.”
In line with this thought, Babauta and the LifestyleLounge website point out some tips to avoid being judgmental:
Remember everyone is unique. You need to remember that not every person you meet will be like you. People come from different upbringing, cultures, status, faith and other factors. Remember the fact that everyone is unique and not the same.
Try to be in other’s shoes. Instead of judging someone for what he/she does or how he/ she looks, try to understand the person. Put yourself in his/her shoes. Find out his/ her background. Everyone has one. If not, try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person in his/her actuation or behavior. Put yourself in his/her shoes and try to imagine his/her background. This will help you in being not critical of other people’s actions.
Know that judging is not healthy. Stressing yourself by thinking what you cannot change is simply risking your health. Avoid spending days and nights worrying about others, as in what they think or do. This will only cause a lot of stress to you. Live your life to the fullest and let other find their own peace in life. Reserve your energy for your own future use.
Accept. Once you begin to understand, try to accept. Accept that person who he/she is without trying to change him/her. Accept, otherwise you’ll end up being frustrated.
Once you’ve accepted for who he/she is, try to love him/her. Even if you hated him/her in the past, love him/her as he/she is. You might ask, “What good will loving someone do?” It could have an effect on two people: Yourself and possibly on the person you’ve learn to love. Loving others will serve to make yourself happier. I can guarantee that it can be life-changing.
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