Superfriends and the Hall of Justice

   I have frequented the palace of justice a few times before and noted that, for the safety and security of everyone, all they do is a casual body pat down.  And, if you are bringing a bag with you, they just open one zipper of a multi-zippered bag to check whether you’re packing a rocket launcher.  If they don’t find what they’re looking for, then you’re on your merry way to do as you please.

    A recent tragedy at these sacred halls has resulted in ‘beefed up’ security measures.  Just how beefed up is it?  Well, I was there the other day and noticed the following:  At the doors, you are required to submit yourself to a body pat down and metal detector scan up to how far the guy at the door can bend down.  As these guys aren’t the most limber or fittest of individuals, anything below you thighs are unreachable.  Security is much tighter as they now open two zippers of a five zipper bag.  Plus, they require you to provide them with any identification card in exchange for a visitor’s pass.

    So are we much safer now when we enter the sacred halls?  Nope.  What has this got to do with motoring?  A lot!

    Remember when the emission tests were introduced?  Oh, how we were cussing and ranting about the hassles of, and the extra money we had to spend, going through a tedious and almost trivial process.  Remember, when the MVIS was a must?  More groaning and wailing from the people who had to spend a whole day lining up to get their vehicles checked.

    But not everyone was against it.  Tree huggers and safety advocates welcomed these changes with open arms for they felt the winds of change blowing their way.  Sadly, it wasn’t wind.  It was gas.

    In paper, these were the best way to guarantee that the roads will only be trodden by clean-emission, road-worthy vehicles.  Only those that would pass both tests could be registered for and approved to use the roads for a year.  And vehicles that don’t, can’t.

    Unless you’ve got the following superfriends.

    Phantasman:  He has the ability to bend light and cause even the most stringent of inspectors to see the illusion of a roadworthy vehicle instead of a broken down, lightless prime mover.

    Techno Lass:  She has the ability to talk to computers and manipulate emission test printouts, making smoke-belching vehicles appear like every tree’s best friend.

    Wad O’Bills:  The leader of the group.  Has the power of speed (quick processing of documents), mind-control (officers automatically sign approvals), and invisibility (somehow people know he exists but he always manages to disappear without a trace).

    The security changes that are being implemented in the sacred halls are just about as effective as the roadworthy tests required for motor vehicles.  As long as we stick to and tolerate mediocrity, laxity and the superfriends, no amount of ‘improvement’ will ever make you feel safe anywhere.

    A vehicle that isn’t roadworthy but was allowed to pass inspection and registered is like allowing a person carrying firearms through the sacred halls.  That kind of vehicle would, in the course of the year, have the ability to break something and lose control.  We, who make sure our vehicles are truly roadworthy, would become innocent victims to these rolling battering rams.

I am pretty sure that we will tolerate this mediocrity until something tragic happens.  Then the finger pointing starts all over again.  If only they’d learn to point the finger their way, I’d make sure to pull their finger and help them release gas.