On turning 50

It’s not everyone who receives the chance to reflect on turning 50, and this writer sees it as an incomparable blessing which will come on Wednesday (Jan. 7). It brings a lot of gratitude, a large trove of memories – some sweet, some painful, and an opportunity to get even better while making things right with one’s world. Half a century. Wow.

It means, first and foremost, a crossroads. If there is one wrong path or direction taken, an opportunity to change course, if need be. Was I right to spend my whole life in sports, and my whole career in media, despite all its frustrations, conflict, and politics, and often being sidelined because certain decision-makers think I’m an ass for having a strong opinion and not kowtowing to mediocrity? Have I given enough already, and is it time to do something else with my life? Or is the work (I was going to say battle) just beginning? What will I be remembered for should God sound my final buzzer today? I guess I’ll never know, anyway.

Looking back on my first 29 years in the business, two things are clear: I’ve striven to do things that have never been done before, and I’ve tried to be a catalyst for change at my own expense. If eventually we write a history of sports media in the Philippines, it would be satisfying to see my name pop up once in a while. The past few years have seen a gradual path towards international work through documentary filmmaking. Hopefully, it will lead to great new frontiers for fellow sports journalists and broadcasters. “Pinoy Hoops” for National Geographic Channel took three and a half years of work to chisel out, and was honored with a nomination at last year’s Asian Television Awards. If people only knew how tough that was. But as the saying goes, the first man through the wall is the one who always get bloodied. You’re looking at him.

Of course, there are many things to be proud of as a professional journalist and broadcaster. In 1989, SCOOP created the Broadcast Sports News Agency of the Year for ABS-CBN News, and similarly, Project-Gintong Alay (precursor of the Philippine Sports Commission) gifted the same with a citation for the exclusive news coverage of the 1989 Southeast Asian Games. Rising through the ranks to run Vintage Enterprises’ broadcasts of the PBA games during what was considered its golden age is unforgettable because of the people who surrounded and mentored me. Being delegation head for NCR at the original Philippine Sports Summit, covering the first APEC in 1993 was also challenging but fulfilling. Pioneering the Adidas Streetball Challenge (a generation ahead of the NBA 3-on-3 we also organized in 2011) in 1996 was also gratifying. That same year, Ron delos Reyes and I also survived the Centennial Park bombing at the Atlanta Olympics, and I’ll never forget my phone call to my children after that.

Of course, being part of the Metropolitan Basketball Association (MBA) broadcast team will always be special. Looking back, our group included the second, third and fourth generations of Filipino sports broadcasters, after pioneers like Willie Hernandez, Frank Abao and Joe Cantada paved the way through their tireless efforts on radio. I was the first of my generation who wasn’t required to do radio, an opportunity I sought and got years later after turning to directing. Through the MBA, we saw our country as few people did, through its love for its teams, and its sports cultures. And it is always priceless to be both teaching and learning, especially from those who are no longer with us. Now I’m sounding like an old man.

At the turn of the millennium, Kenneth Garcia and I won the inaugural NBA 2Ball tournament so he could visit with his family in the US whom he hadn’t seen in years. It felt good to be able to do that for a friend. My younger son Daniel and I won a succeeding staging of that event when he was 11, and he was the only child in the tournament. I still have the trophy. It seems a lifetime ago. Sporting adventures have taken this writer to North America, Australia, throughout Asia and our neighbors in ASEAN, broadening my writing as a result. I am thankful for all those who have given us opportunities to grow. 

In the modern era, being 50 means a lot of things. In some ways, it means certain windows are closing. With some exceptions, it means you start to lessen the strenuous physical exertions that marked your youth, partly because it takes more preparation beforehand and recovery after, partly because there seems to be less drive to physically propel yourself into battle, having seen so much of it already. My joke is that you start doing less with the lower extremities, like running with your feet, and moving up to parts of your anatomy which you use less and less. Inevitably, you’ll want to do more and more things with your mind. Then again, that’s the joke, and I’ll leave it at that for now.

In this day and age of increasing mortality because of stress and diet (particularly for men), it also means undeniably that I’ve loved past the halfway point of the average person. Symbolically, it’s a countdown. Will I live to be a hundred? It’s unlikely. Nobody I know of in my family has lived beyond their early 90’s (my grandmother Teofila Unson turns 90 on Thursday) and that is significant. Most of all, it means I will have less time with my loved ones, particularly my magnificent, beautiful, awe-inspiring children, whom I sometimes now find myself running after, ironically. The sands in the hourglass are running down, and it may just be me, but they seem to run a little bit faster as to be noticeable now.

But there is always time for appreciation, and every year, there is more and more to appreciate. We are in a great era to be in sports, and these are exciting times if we do not allow ourselves to slide back. I was the last generation that had black and white photos and played in the street. There was always time for fun outside, and time to think. Sports was not a commodity, but a way of life, a laboratory where you discovered yourself as I did, and carried those learnings forever. People seemed less concerned with interconnectivity, and more concerned with connectedness. Family dinners had conversation, not posting what you were having for dinner. Maybe we’ll find the balance again, or we fight for it.

As it stands, I ask forgiveness from those whom I have offended or had disagreements with. There seems to be less and less room for conflict in one’s heart as one ages, and is able to accept the process. It’s much more relaxing to simply walk around or away from an obstinate workmate or colleague if there is more than one way to do the job, anyway. What’s the point? It’s just a game we all love, and we have bigger concerns. Thankfully, with time less people see me as insensitive and more as driven. And that’s the first lesson my mother taught me, how to turn a weakness into a strength. I’ve long determined what I stand for, and there are certain standards I cannot stomach compromising, even at the expense of friendships. Then again, if we disagree in principles, it’s hard to be friends.

But at the end of the day, 50 or any other age is what you make it. Thanks for a great ride.

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Follow this writer on Twitter @truebillvelasco.