Dash is what counts

In his homily at the Requiem Mass before the interment of the late Angel (Pappy) Nepomuceno’s cremated remains the other day, Magallanes Church parish priest Fr. Benny Tuazon spoke about the “dash” that separates the dates of birth and death in a tombstone.

“The dash is what’s important not the dates because the dash will tell you how an individual lived his life,” said Fr. Benny who by the way, has rolled a perfect game and once claimed Pappy’s six-time world bowling champion son Paeng as a victim.

Fr. Benny mentioned that existing on earth is only a preparation for everlasting life. Death is therefore not an ending but a beginning. And living God’s way on earth assures eternal happiness in heaven with the Lord.

After the final blessing, Paeng walked up to the rostrum to thank everyone who condoled with the family. He didn’t speak long because that’s not his style and neither was it Pappy’s.

“He was never in the limelight,” said Paeng. “Pappy was always behind the scenes. He never took credit for the achievements of those whom he coached. After a competition, he would just walk out of the alley and smoke.”

Curiously, Pappy was a star in his own right – as a child and teenaged movie actor. Although his family was involved in the movie business, Pappy never pursued a serious acting career.

Paeng called his father a role model. “He was the perfect husband, father and grandfather,” he said. “My mother (Teresita Villa-Real) never left his side for a minute.”

Paeng took the occasion to say sorry to his siblings. He is one of seven children – with late brother Angel Jr. and sisters Marissa, Susie, Ditas, Len and Maryann. “I hope you understand,” he said. “Because Pappy was so focused on my bowling that sometimes, napabayaan kayo.” But of course, his apology wasn’t necessary. They all understood. Paeng is, after all, a phenom – probably the greatest Filipino athlete ever.

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Paeng said when he guns for his fifth World Cup in a fourth decade in Malaysia in a few weeks, it will be without Pappy by his side.

“I know he’ll be there in spirit,” Paeng said. “He’ll be my invisible coach.” Fr. Benny remarked that with Pappy in heaven, his influence will be stronger than ever.

About a month ago, Paeng’s parents moved in to the Forbes Park home the Hall of Famer shares with wife Pinky and their children. His parents’ home in Ortigas extension was damaged by Typhoon Ondoy.

“Pappy wanted to stay in Paeng’s trophy room,” related Pinky. “We had a room prepared for him but he liked the trophy room. So we moved out a lot of Paeng’s trophies and just kept the most memorable ones, like the World Cups, World Masters, his La Salle achievement award and his first-ever championship.”

Last Friday, Paeng and Pinky said good night to Pappy at about 10 p.m. after picking up their daughter at the airport from a trip to Cebu. Their daughter brought Pappy a can of ojaldres, his favorite, from Cebu. It was the last time Paeng saw his father alive.

The next morning, Oct. 31, Typhoon Santi swept by Metro Manila as Paeng went to the bowling lanes for practice. It was just what Pappy would’ve wanted. At the height of Typhoon Yoling in 1970, Pappy made sure Paeng – who was 16 then – continued to practice by building a makeshift lane with plywood flooring and mattresses as buffers in their home. Since Metro Manila endured a power outage for over a week, Pappy lit candles around the makeshift lane for Paeng to see where to throw the ball. Accuracy wasn’t the point of the practice. Pappy wanted Paeng to make automatic his quick release of the ball and the snap of his wrist.

When Paeng got home from practice, it was time for lunch. Pappy was still in bed. He had died peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by Paeng’s trophies of which he played a major part in achieving.

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“Pappy was a devout Catholic,” said his wife, a former Miss Philippines. “He prayed the rosary every day and never missed a word. In my case, I would sometimes miss a word or two and I would start the Our Father or Hail Mary or Glory Be all over again. But not Pappy. God made sure he didn’t suffer. He had the start of emphysema and sometimes, it was difficult for him to breathe. We’ll miss him terribly.”

Fr. Benny said his wish is to die as peacefully as Pappy.

“Since his hip replacement surgery last year, Pappy was never the same,” said Paeng. “He used to join me at practice thrice a week but because of his limited mobility, he could only walk a few steps everyday so he had to stop coaching me. The last time we were together for a tournament was the World Masters in England in 2003.”

Relatives and friends came to pay their last respects to Pappy at the Mass on the second floor of the Santuario de San Antonio activity hall in Forbes Park. Among those who attended were Alaska owner Fred Uytengsu, bowler Ollie Ongtawco, Pinky’s parents Poppit and Bingle and her brother Joey with wife Tinette and Gov. Victor Ortega. Dr. Vicki Belo came just before the Mass.

The night before, POC president Jose Cojuangco, Jr., Passy Teopaco, Rep. Anna Bondoc, Ricky Davao, Boots Anson-Roa, Rep. Robbie Puno and wife Chiqui and bowlers Tito Sotto, Rene Reyes, Bong Coo, Toti Ponce Enrile, Botchok Rey, Bonnie Solis, Cathy Solis and Norman Gonzalez visited.

 After the Requiem Mass, Pappy’s remains were interred at the Christ The King crypt in Green Meadows. The conclusion was the dash in Pappy’s tombstone meant he lived a good, Christian life. He is now happily home in heaven, probably teaching angels how to bowl.