Golf Rules

The 2nd Erap Cup is not your common, rinky-dink fund-raiser. Held under the auspices of President Estrada to benefit the disadvantaged -- the beloved mahirap of Erap -- participants have been dragooned from the creme de la creme of Philippine business, government and the diplomatic corps. And it is only fair, meet and just that these select players be accorded a properly organized event -- if only to somehow make it up to them for more or less consenting, with grace if not alacrity, to have their pocketbooks rather considerably lightened. And all for the sake of the poor folk who turned our two-fisted celluloid hero into our Pinoy capo di tutti capi.

But seriously now, fellas, a smoothly run tournament does not just happen. It's the result of careful planning by someone who knows precisely what the job entails -- someone with the expertise that comes from a deep knowledge of the rules of golf and many years of hands-on training in the handling of golfing events, or, in the words of Tom Wolfe, a man with the Right Stuff -- such as Vince Villafuerte, the veteran organizer contracted to take charge of Erap's golf bash ongoing this very day at The Midlands, lovely Tagaytay Highlands' newly built second 18.

One thing I can say for an experienced organizer like Vince Villafuerte is that all his mistakes are in the past: he now knows all the potential sources of trouble and has taken the steps designed to prevent their recurrence. To eliminate snafus:

BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT First, considering that it's a fund-raiser, and that participants would be the designated players of donor companies or individuals, it was agreed it would be lots more fun to make it a four-ball stroke play competition (Rule 31), where the higher Stableford points (Rule 32-1b) of a partner would be the team's score for the hole. Second, a shotgun start was thought best under the circumstances. Third, the course was inspected, clearly marking out OB, water hazards, lateral water hazards, ground under repair, obstructions, etc. Fourth, each player was sent a copy of the Conditions of the Competition, spelling out everything he needed to know, including eligibility, handicaps, use of golf carts, starting time, local rules, prizes, settling of ties, etc. Fifth, caddies were briefed re Conditions of the Tournament, local rules, and basic R&A rules. Sixth, players' submitted handicap indexes were verified by acquiring handicap lists of Metro Manila courses or phoning provincial clubs.

DAY OF THE TOURNAMENT First, upon registration, each player is again given a copy of Conditions of the Competition, a scorecard showing his handicap, and a pairing sheet if he wants one. Second, assign experienced rules officials (Buddy Resurreccion and Boy Blue Ocampo) at each nine. Third, see that starting time and pace of play are strictly observed. Fourth, settle all doubtful points concerning Rules before cards are turned in. Fifth, use three computers to figure Stableford scores since cards are bound to arrive in bunches due to shotgun start. Sixth, release results without undue delay.

Player Has Two Handicaps

Q. [sent by a player whose name has somehow been misplaced] My friend has a higher handicap at Valley Golf Club than at Capitol Hills. When competing in a tournament at Capitol, would he be justified in using his higher Valley Golf handicap since it reflects his current playing ability? That lower handicap of his at Capitol is an old one, and he couldn't possibly play to it now. Wouldn't it be unfair to assign him that lower handicap?

A. Golf handicaps have only one purpose: to give players with unequal abilities an equal chance to win. Your friend should inform the Tournament Committee, before the competition, of his two handicaps -- explain why he deserves the higher one -- and hope for the best. In no case should he simply submit his higher handicap; he could be disqualified under Rule 6-1b, for submitting a handicap higher than that to which he is entitled. In dealing with the Committee, transparency is the best policy. Bear in mind that it has wide-ranging powers. Rule 33-7 states that a penalty of disqualification may in exceptional individual cases be waived, modified or imposed if the Committee considers such action warranted.

A Russian and an American were bragging about the amazing feats of their respective scientists when a Filipino butted in. "That's nothing," he exclaimed. "We have a man who was born without a head. They placed a coconut on his shoulders -- and now he's the president of the Philippines!"

Before I get myself in deep shit, let me hasten to add that the irrepressible "Arsenic" Lacson, then mayor of Manila, uttered that hurtful joke, and he was alluding to President Elpidio Quirino, who kept a dignified silence, by the way, rather than retorting: "'Wag kang magsinungaling, baka tamaan ka ng kidlat."(Don't lie -- you might be struck by lightning.)

Fax questions & comments to 521-8582 or E-mail to [email protected]