GOLF RULES

When Pinoy politicos open their big mouths about rising fuel prices, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

President Erap Estrada, admitting he could not restrain our country's oil refineries, moaned: "All I can do is kneel and beg for the sake of the poor people and the economy."

Speaker Manny Villar threatened to revoke the oil deregulation law, saying: ". . . we may be forced to review the law."

Congressman Marcial Punzalan sounded even more menacing, declaring he would: ". . . take a fearless step to bust the oil cartel."

Are these people as dumb as they sound? Of course not. Not even Erap. Don't you ever make the mistake of underestimating this man (or the savvy operators who maneuvered to put him in Malacañang). Actually, they are being disingenuous, each one emoting to make themselves look good to the electorate, trying to score pogi points by making all the right noises.

If that's the case, emote away, guys. Each to his own racket, I say.

I'm sure, however, that these gentlemen don't need reminding they're barking up the wrong tree. As columnist Boo Chanco has taken pains to point out: "It's OPEC, stupid!" Indeed, they must know it is the rising cost of the raw material from the 11-member Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries that has forced up the price of the fuel being distributed by our local refineries; and OPEC has done that by reducing the supply . . . then simply letting the inexorable Law of Supply and Demand inevitably push the price upwards.

Even the mighty US, which obtains a lot of crude oil within its own borders, could not hold down escalating figures at their gas stations, watching pump prices rise from about 90 cents a gallon last summer to about a dollar and fifty cents today.

The very handsome, very bright and rather youthful-looking Manny Villar should be old enough to remember that price control couldn't keep prices down even during the martial law regime of President Marcos. And I'm old enough to remember even the Japanese Imperial Army could not stop so-called profiteers during the Second World War.

As for Mr. Punzalan, I hope he was misquoted. How could he threaten the OPEC cartel when our total consumption is less than 1% of the world's total?

Actually, we could reduce pump prices by lowering fuel taxes. But no one in his right mind would dare think that, much less implement it. Without this crucial revenue our government would go belly-up and even the unsinkable Pinoy would finally go under.

Since there are no short-term solutions, we'll simply have to accept the fact that we're in for more austerity, especially in the game of golf, which largely depends on a nation's economic well-being in order to advance. Too bad for our pros. Too bad for our Jungolfers. Too bad for all players. And too bad for me. I'm in the LPG business and I make less money when retail prices are high.

This KGB was intended to allude to the dreaded Soviet Secret Police. But it refers to the Kapisanan ng Golfers sa Brodkast, the association of golfers in broadcasting, both before and behind the TV camera. I must say I've enjoyed playing with some members of this happy bunch, golfers like Eddie Mercado, Jimmy Navarro, Dick Ildefonso, Freddie Garcia, Angelo Castro, Robert Arevalo, Frankie Evangelista and many others. They play the game mainly for the chance to relax and enjoy themselves with their own kind. They don't really care too much about golf's rigid rules and I can't say I disagree with them. They are busy guys just out for a little fun in the sun. But I got a query about an incident in a recent KGB stroke play tournament at Valley Golf Club that I will have to answer, though the answer should not unduly concern the players involved. It was an honest mistake, committed in good faith. Just forget about it, fellas.

Q. [from Subas Herrero] After crossing a water hazard, Boboy Garrovillo of APO and Gary Lising discovered they had hit each other's ball before the hazard. They exchanged balls, gave themselves two penalty-strokes each and just dropped their original balls right there, without returning to their original lies. Did they proceed correctly?

A. No. True, the penalty for playing a wrong ball is two strokes but the players failed to drop their balls in the right place -- the right place being where their original balls were at rest before the hazard -- hence, they each incurred two more strokes for playing from the wrong place. Furthermore, since the wrong place was so much closer to the hole than the right place, the two committed a serious breach that needed to be corrected as follows: Before teeing off on the next tee, the two should have declared that they were rectifying the serious breach by playing out the hole with a second ball dropped in the correct place, and then reporting the facts to the Committee before returning their score cards. Since they failed to do any of this, Boboy and Gary should have been disqualified (Rules 15-3, 20-5, 20-7b).

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