They are just like us

I’ve often wondered why the rich live so lavishly. Their lives, thoughts, and even their business challenges must be different from most people like me. But then I read an article that made me see things differently.
The writer is a private banker for the wealthy, and what she has discovered sheds a very interesting light on the subject. Her observations offer lessons that may influence how we think, how we live, and, most especially, how we view the wealthy.

Elizabeth George worked as a private banker for 20 years, helping clients who needed at least $1 million just to open an account, and families managing tens of millions. Her father put it simply: she lent money to rich people who didn’t need it. After years of looking at tax returns, net worth statements, and the private worries of the wealthy, she recently shared what surprised her most. It turns out, much of it is nothing like what most of us think about money.

The first surprise is humbling: wealthy people aren’t better at managing money. They forget to save, fall for scams, ignore budgets, and don’t have any secret investing skills. Most own the same index funds and ETFs anyone can buy. The private equity deals or venture capital bets they talk about are usually just for show, not real wealth builders. There’s no hidden formula.

The second surprise goes even further: money doesn’t take away financial worries. In fact, it often makes them worse. The wealthy still worry about running out of money, spoiling their kids, or making mistakes. They feel peer pressure just like everyone else. George noticed her clients often talked about what others were doing. Having money doesn’t mean having peace of mind.

Another pattern is more subtle and applies to everyone: money doesn’t change who you are; it just makes your traits more obvious. Anxious people get more anxious with more money. Generous people give even more. Big spenders keep chasing bigger thrills that never satisfy. Family fights over inheritance can turn into long legal battles. Whatever was there before money just becomes more noticeable.

Some of the most interesting stories are about secrecy. George tells of a couple who quietly built their wealth while living simply: a modest house, public schools, Olive Garden as their favorite restaurant, and they never told their adult sons how much they had. In another family, a daughter only learned about a $25 million trust when she turned 35, as the rules required. She had already picked a modest university, turned down moving to a bigger city, and became a public school teacher. She might have made different choices if she had known about the money.

When she found out, she didn’t celebrate. Instead, she felt lost, disconnected from the middle-class life she had built. There’s a lesson here for any family with something to pass on, no matter how small: secrecy doesn’t protect anyone for long, and sudden news can be more upsetting than the money itself. Being open, with care and good timing, usually works out better than staying silent.

George also saw true generosity among her wealthiest clients. Many gave a full tithe. Some funded university buildings or sports programs, while others quietly supported museums, food banks, and animal shelters year after year. For them, giving was a real responsibility, not just an afterthought. This shows that wealth, when combined with strong values, can do real good beyond just the family.

There’s also the opposite illusion: looking wealthy without actually being wealthy. Some people drive luxury cars but have almost no savings. Some socialites have no real control over their finances. Some businesses exist only as a lifestyle or for tax reasons, not to make money. Many who seem rich are actually house-poor, with most of their money tied up in one expensive home. Again and again, George saw that how things look and what people are really worth are often not connected at all.

After 20 years of stories, one simple truth stands out: wealthy people want the same things as everyone else, a healthy family, security and people to love and be loved by. Money just gives someone more ways to build the life they already wanted, for better or worse. It doesn’t create character, discipline, or peace. Those come from daily choices, no matter how much money a family has.

The real measure of wealth isn’t the number in the bank. It’s what someone does with it, and whether they were the kind of person who could be trusted with it even before it arrived.

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