The POTUS problem

Getting to work last Monday was an exercise in patience – and long-suffering. The visit of the POTUS – US Secret Service lingo for President of the US – snarled traffic around Malacañang for kilometers all around. Though President Obama took one of the two Marine One helicopters to the Palace, many roads were closed anyway and those that weren’t closed were blocked by protesters and rallyists.

From R. Magsaysay Blvd. all vehicles were stopped from going straight towards JP Laurel and Nagtahan and made to turn right into a narrow road, made even narrower by jeepneys and pedicabs parked on both sides. I asked one of the blue-clad traffic enforcers where that road – I can’t tell you the name because there were no street signs – would take me. He apparently didn’t know either, because he said to just ask the other traffic enforcers further along. But he was very polite, and most apologetic, saying over and over “Pasensya na po.”

Well, pasensya in large measures was certainly needed, as there were no traffic enforcers along that detour, and cars moved by mere inches when we did move. After several left and right and left and right turns, I no longer knew where I was – it seemed I had entered a labyrinth – and so I just followed all the other cars since there was no other choice.

I refused to make a bad situation worse by being stressed, so I decided to take in the sights of a part of town I had never been in and do not intend to visit again if I can help it. I saw the Goto Me Goto U eatery, which advertised hamburger for P12, cheeseburger for P18 and fries for P10. Nelson gives haircuts for P40. A bustling talipapa on both sides of one street sold oysters at P80 for a half kilo (which, I am told, is expensive, as oysters at the seaside dampa can be had for P80 a kilo, but of course this place – wherever it is – is far from the sea so I guess the price is higher), and a butcher was cutting up a pig carcass, severing the head with one masterful stroke of a mean-looking cleaver. 

I saw a kind looking ice cream vendor, so I rolled down my window to ask exactly where I was and how I could get to Port Area. He said to go two more intersections and I’d hit España, which was certainly welcome news to this lost driver. After hours in limbo it was such a relief to finally see familiar sights – and a street sign – like the buildings of the UST, so that inching along Quiapo was almost pleasant. The Quiapo Church looks nice with its new coat of paint, and maybe I was just hungry and tired but I kept seeing billboards advertising halo-halo!

After three hours and 40 minutes roaming the innards of the city I finally saw the welcome sight of Anda Circle. As I turned into our office the thought crossed my mind that I could have been in Baguio by now, with the newly opened TIPLEX making the trip possible in well under four hours. But, on a positive note, I got to finish this column – writing in longhand during all those moments we were at a standstill – by the time I got to the office.