Coffee, Tea & MUB

If the word "jorpet" or the shorter slang version "jorps" enters idiomatic usage, blame Magandang Umaga Bayan, the abs-cbn early morning show with its new format and line up of hosts, and Erwin Tulfo in particular, for bringing the term into the vernacular.

It got to the point that when Erwin used it in one of his reactions to a news item and mentioned that Julius (Babao, another host) was indisposed for the day, one of the network’s top honchos discreetly inquired what the word meant. Informed by the heads of Current Affairs, he looked skyward and decided he was better off ignorant.

Welcome to the world of Magandang Umaga, Bayan. Mornings will never be the same.

If you think I’m letting the cat out of the bag and giving you what "jorpet" means this early, think again. You’re going to have to read through this feature to be enlightened–and don’t bother cheating, it’s not in the last paragraph (we’re not that obvious).

With the directive to make their morning show a tad more news- oriented while having the hosts react and do commentary on the news as they read it, the network brought the morning show right to the breakfast table. If you’re still bleary-eyed, if your brain hasn’t yet kicked into action but you’re there around the breakfast table with your family, it doesn’t matter whether you’re the pater familias, woman of the house, brother or sister, professional or student, all you need is a bit of transference. Just turn the TV on, shovel food into your mouth, sip your coffee, leave the newspaper on the table and let MUB do the rest!

With the motley crew assembled, it’s a safe bet that most hues and shades of opinion will be represented. You’re informed of the news of the day, you’re discussing the news and making opinions and reacting to those opinions, all via those little figures on the screen. All you have to do is absorb. Plus, you also get those staples on weather and traffic, plus household tips.

And the family is all accounted for. Julius is Mr. Neutral, the calming voice, the "Let’s look at all sides" kind of father. If Claudine Trillo, the new kid on the block, is like some younger sister, Miss Refined Sugar, then Erwin Tulfo is Mr. Spice, Raw Sugar, the cantankerous siga uncle who’ll split your sides with his comments while still providing food for thought.

Cheryl Cosim was Miss Inaapi when joining in on the news portion as she was sandwiched between Erwin and Julius. She’s slowly come into her own and now laughingly refer to her as "our Gabriela", championing the woman’s point of view and single-handedly opposing any sexist or chauvinistic sentiment that may escape the mouths of her co-anchors (oftentimes, they just say these things to tease her and get a rise out of her. Shhh!). Bobby Yan is the chipper, boisterous young brother, Dennis the Menace 20 years on. Pia Guanio, Kat de Castro and Aljo Bendijo round out the main cast, but were unavailable for the interview and shoot (ok, big sigh from all the men out there who wanted to see Pia in the breakfast-in-bed photo session held at the Fraser Place Residential Suites in Makati).

If you’re wondering why this particular combination of talents were thrown into the pot, let’s recall that Julius was one of the originals when it came to the early morning format. "I had no problem going back to this. In fact, with Talk TV, it was mostly housewives and the household help who would be texting or calling in when we would solicit reactions from the viewers. Now, it’s students and professionals being added to the mix."

With a naughty twinkle to his eyes, Bobby explains that putting Pia and Claudine together was a stroke of genius. "Whenever they appear, the show gets hotter," he insists. Cheryl, like Pia and Bobby, are holdovers from the previous morning show, Alas Singko y Medya, and as such, are familiar faces that evince a sense of continuity. Erwin, who viewers already knew from Mission X and the late night news, is the spicy, volatile ingredient that brings the show to its present "boil".

Erwin can best be explained by the statement "He’s a Tulfo", and if you can’t latch on to that, you just have to immerse yourself in media for a couple of months, and all will be clear. When a woman was complaining about her husband’s philandering and the remote camera picked up her morning appearance, Erwin practically proclaimed the husband blameless. When the report came in about a 40-something gro that had been arrested, suppressing laughter at the thought that a gro could be that old, Erwin announced with the sweetest voice (if such a thing exists), "Miss gro, mag-retire ka na!" He shoots from the hip and it’s no surprise that he’s had 12 libel suits filed against him.

Cheryl, the demure Filipina, who exclaimed that she was dating three men when the guys teased that they were concerned about her presently loveless status, shakes her head and smiles recalling all those priceless Tulfo moments. "The standing joke is that outside of broadcast hours, if you need Erwin, forget it, as he’ll be busy at some hearing!"

She readily admits that at first, the comments and stature of her fellow broadcasters intimidated her. "It took some time for me to join in on the commentary. At first, I’d stick to news reading and keep my mouth shut even when there was something they said that I wanted to react to. Now naman, they know just what button to press to get me going!"

Claudine came from Channel E. With candor, she says her stint with that channel was "a no-brainer. All I had to do was push the mike to some person and ask them how they were enjoying some party. I was looking for something more challenging and am thankful for this morning show. While I am introducing the lighter segments, the ones where Bobby and I ‘take care of the sponsors’, just being involved with the show has opened my eyes, making me more informed with what’s happening in our country."

An obvious trend is newscasters entering politics. abs-cbn stands proud in this tradition, Loren Legarda Leviste and Noli de Castro having risen from their ranks to become Senators of our land. The question on the table then was not whether they had plans but if they had already been approached for the next elections.

All three men had to nod in the affirmative. While Erwin let pass that among the brothers (Ramon and Raffy, both also television hosts) they have agreed to forego political careers for now, Julius says he was not interested at all. Bobby admits the post of councilor had been offered and he was seriously thinking about it.

That they had been asked at all is worth some discussion. I posited that it could be an indication of how broadcasting was now being equated with public service, that in these times when visibility was a factor ensured by television and we did not seem to have enough impressive people out there in the field of public service, they were logical options. They agree with that and add that in all honesty, when they did look around, they feel that newscasters at least seem more viable choices than entertainers. At least, their daily reality consists of being aware of the issues and getting up close to the problems that beset our country.

Asking the five to turn to the person to their left and come up with what was the worst thing they could say about having to see that person five early mornings of the week, one gem came from Mr. Bombastic himself. Turning to Bobby, Erwin felt that if there was a "lova, lova" to his Mr. Bombastic, it was Bobby who would arrive on the set with all these kiss marks and love bites. Julius counters saying that typically, it was Erwin’s early morning talk about sex that made the pre-broadcast moments so entertaining. It is at this point that the term "jorpet" is brought up. And here it is: the term refers to a midday "nookie", an afternoon delight, a term Erwin has coined and patented.

Claudine maintains a humble-pie diet and insists the worse thing about seeing Cheryl every morning is being reminded of just how far she has to go to reach the standards of her co-hosts. Bobby, ever playful, hates having to see Claudine so often, knowing she was engaged. Cheryl takes one look at Julius and plays it safe with no real answer. The weight of seniority still strikes fear, or at the very least, prudence.

While much may be said (or claimed) of the inroads that the "other network" may be making in pre-noon and midday program-ming, mub rules when it comes to early morning broadcasts. They’ve forged a distinct identity from Day One and while the competition may soon be playing catch up, this mub team has set the new benchmark for the face (or faces) of who we want to wake up to every week-day morning.