A biker’s diary

I grow introspective whenever I ride my bike. It is the moment when I am in deep faith, so that I prefer to bike alone most of the time.

Biking is cathartic. It enthralls my senses. It strengthens my body. It fortifies my soul. It lifts my spirit. It is a way of life. It is life.

When I get home after a short or long ride — the farthest so far is from Cabuyao to Pagsanjan, alone — I turn to my online journal to write my reflections. A few times, I stop on the road to allow my thoughts to wander in the beauty of nature. I chase my thoughts and they find their way to my diary.

Bike be with you in Boracay

(Oct. 18, 2021)

Many times, I think of biking as my form of salutation to the divine. I always bike solo so I always have that magical moment to discover or rediscover joy — even sadness. But sadness collapses inside the spirit that is unrelenting in finding every reason to celebrate life. Happiness is an inside job. We are responsible for its death. We are also responsible for its growth and yield.

Faith is on the road. It moves me as I ride the wind. It’s written in the sky, with the sunset as the colorful message of God that everything will be all right, albeit recognizing the clear and present danger of the pandemic.

God is good. Therefore, life is good.

I biked to the cemetery and made my father my Valentine

(Feb. 14, 2021)

I was huffing and puffing when I reached the cemetery to visit my father on Valentine’s Day. I borrowed my eldest brother’s bike and took the long route of Gulod-Baclaran-Mamatid-Banlic road all the way to my father’s gravesite in the town proper of Cabuyao.

It was a beautiful sunset ride with rolling, puffy clouds — or was it only in my mind? The joys of the setting sun accompanied me to Papang’s resting place. It was peaceful. The tranquility I felt was insulating. I was energized after I said my prayers. I smiled. My heart smiled.

I had neither flowers nor candles. I only had kernels of sweat running down my back, my nape — and a heart as open as the sky.

I only had stories for him — good and bad, happy and sad. Stories of retreat and redemption, of love found and lost love.

My father, even 11 years after his passing, was the only man who had loved me the longest, who had loved me deeply, truly. And for that I celebrate life.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Pang.

May opyo ang pagpadyak

(March 20, 2021)

May tatlong buwan na rin akong pumapadyak. Araw-araw. Hinahanap ito ng katawan. ‘Yung bahagyang sakit sa hita, ‘yung bahagyang ngalay sa puwit, ‘yung bahagyang pamimitig ng mga braso, lahat ‘yon ay araw-araw na hinahanap ng katawan.

May kung anong adiksyon ang pamimisikleta. Nakikipagkarera ang tibok ng puso sa hampas ng hangin. Katalik ng damdamin ang samyo at tanawin sa paligid.

Payapa ang isip kapag pumipedal. Nagrorosaryo ng kusa ang utak sa kalsada. Ang mga puno, damo, halaman at bulaklak sa paligid ang mga misteryo. Ang tubig sa lawa ang Ama Namin. Ang paglubog ng araw ang Aba Ginoong Maria. Sumasampalataya ang dibdib kahit may usok sa paligid. Luwalhati ang pamimisikleta.

Ang pagpadyak ay nagpapalaya. Ang bahagyang ingit ng kadena sa plato ng bisikleta ay musika ng paa upang patuloy na pumedal. Balanse ang buhay.

‘Yung saya ko kapag tinatangay na ng hangin ang diwa ay walang katulad, walang kauri, walang pagsidlan. Siksik. Liglig. Umaapaw.

Susunugin ng araw ang kutis. May romansang nagaganap sa pagdila ng araw sa balat. Parang pag-ibig. Nakakadarang. Parang opyo. Nakakahumaling.

Hahayaang dalhin ako ng mga paa ko sa mga lugar na magbibigay sa akin ng saya. Ang bisikleta ko at ako ay iisa. Pumapadyak patungo sa iisang destinasyon.

Sa bandang huli, ang sarili pa rin ang pinakamaganda at pinakamasayang destinasyon. Sa mga ipinagkait na ligaya ng panahon at buhay, ang sarili pa rin ang lilikha ng saya.

Patuloy pa rin akong papadyak.

I love you!

(Oct. 16, 2021)

I say this a lot of times lately — to God, to my family and friends, to myself.

I don’t underestimate the power of “I love you.” It heals. It empowers. It saves relationships.

“I love you” is the shortest distance that connects souls. It is the glue that binds severed kinships. It further gels and fortifies relationships.

“I love you” is the well-meaning apology to the spirit I hurt. It is also the validation I generously afford to someone who is hurting.

“I love you” is kindness and humility combined. In these words is where the mundane becomes meaningful. And then everything becomes memorable — even the heart is not enough of a repository for all its many happy returns.

“I love you” is reconnecting with the child in me — fearless, trusting, welcoming, innocent, carefree.

I love you.

Lover & my pajamas

(Sept. 13, 2021)

My pulmonologist told me I partly survived my recent bout with COVID because my immune system was fortified by my daily biking. Months before I contacted the virus, I would always be on the road with my bike named “Lover,” riding the wind for an hour or two, every day. On weekends, I would be biking for eight hours.

Before my COVID journey, my destinations could be a collection of shiny pebbles on the road, a kaleidoscope of butterflies near a bridge, a taho vendor in a neon shirt, a garden of wild flowers in a nook.

I courted the lakeside with either the glorious sunrise or sunset as my witness. I biked where my feet would bring me. Alone. Unafraid. Encumbered by nothing. Until the virus tried to flicker my light for more than 14 days.

I eventually outshone COVID. But the experience taught me to still be cautious, careful, caring.

The experience taught me that I need to still fortify my body with exercise while observing safety precautions.

I get “crazy” when I bike. Of late, I get a high going up the saddle in my pajamas.

In the time of the pandemic where anxiety just knocks uninvited at your door, exercise proves essential in helping keep your mental health intact. It’s very easy to be broken and broken-hearted these days because the threat of the virus is unnerving, unseen, unrelenting. Daily exercise can help.

Bike be with you!

(For your new beginnings, e-mail me at [email protected]. I’m also on Twitter @bum_tenorio and Instagram @bumtenorio. Have a blessed weekend.)