‘Butterflies are free’

Last year, before KC de Venecia’s remains were laid to rest at a crypt at the San Antonio Church in Forbes Park, thousands of butterflies and pink balloons were released in the church’s courtyard to symbolize the "letting go" of her soul. "I let you go, KC," her mother Gina whispered tearfully but firmly as she looked up at the thousands of butterflies set free.

Last week, a year after KC’s death, a swarm of multi-hued butterflies flurried away from the caring hands of grieving mothers to dramatize the groundbreaking rites for INA Healing Center at the DSWD Compound in Batasan Hills, Quezon City. The center is the country’s first therapy center for mournful mothers who lost their children in accidents and unexpected circumstances.

"It symbolizes that we are setting our children free to party with the angels in heaven, with the Lord," said Mrs. de Venecia, head of INA Foundation, who likened their children to colorful butterflies. You see, butterflies don’t live long (they live for only three days according to National Geographic), but in their short but useful life, they are a sight to behold

The INA Healing Center is the first of the many projects to be undertaken by INA Foundation, an organization inspired by Mrs. de Venecia’s continuing effort to survive the harrowing experience of losing her youngest daughter KC. Its groundbreaking rites coincided with the first death anniversary last Dec. 16 of the tragic death of KC – the youngest child of Speaker Joe and Gina de Venecia.

"I and Ms. Ali Sotto, who also lost her beloved son Miko, felt the need to unite with other mothers who have been deeply wounded by the untimely death of their children. We find solace in knowing that others really know our pain. We want to counsel and be counseled because in this symbiotic relationship, the providers of hope are strengthened in return."

When she and Ali began a crusade to comfort grieving mothers, the response was significantly positive and they soon began to sense a calling to form a support group and provide a venue towards the emotional healing of mothers in grief.

Last March 16, about 15 mothers "orphaned" by their children gathered for the first time and the foundation for INA or Inang Naulila sa Anak was born.

Its primary mission is to provide psycho-social support to bereaved mothers through programs and projects aimed at helping them to move on, from a place of deadening grief to a place of hope, and even allowing them to reach out to others. Aside from the healing center, INA’s mission is to train grief counselors in the barangay level.

In her speech, Mrs. de Venecia said, "I stand here today with a happy and grateful heart. On this site, we will build a two-story building that will be a haven for mournful mothers. This will be a place of therapy, where grieving mothers will be with people who can understand and empathize with their pain."

Speaker de Venecia is providing seed money of P10 million to jumpstart the construction of the project.

The Department of Social Welfare and Development has graciously adopted the INA Foundation, and has donated 1,000 square feet of land for the INA Healing Center, while architect Dan Lichauco is designing the center, gratis.

The healing center will also incorporate a butterfly house that will serve as a soothing balm to heal their spirit, as the grieving moms metamorphosed from their sorrow.

Psychologist Dr. Honey Carandang, who lost her parents to a fire, is lending her expertise to guide the members of the foundation in their outreach programs and projects, while DSWD Undersecretary Alice Bala, will facilitate the training of barangay health workers, with the help of local government units, to serve as grief counselors for bereaved families, in times of disaster.

"Our country is very prone to calamities. We experience floods, earthquakes and other tragedies. Many more mothers will lose their children or other loved ones. In our matriarchal society, the mother is the center of the family. Her state of mind must be stable but grief can derail her plans. That’s why it’s important to have a support group for mothers. At present, there is no organization that support mothers when they lose a child. INA Foundation will answer that need," explained Mrs. de Venecia.

During the ceremony, one little butterfly playfully dilly-dallied unusually longer in the hand of the Speaker, before it finally flew in the everlasting horizon. Remembering his daughter KC, the Speaker said that he comforts himself with the fact that his daughter is in a better place. "No matter how great my love is for KC, I still couldn’t match the greatness of God’s love for my daughter," he said.

Mrs. de Venecia, on one hand, said, "A huge part of my heart was torn away the night we lost KC. But like all the grief-stricken mothers, we take comfort in His infinite mercy and rejoice in the knowledge that today, our children revel with the angels in heaven in the presence of God."

And so, with a grateful and love-filled heart, the Speaker along with all the mournful mothers have set their butterflies free!

* * *

(You may e-mail me at [email protected])