Of mothers and families

We celebrate Mother’s Day today, that special day of the year we set aside to remember and honor mothers. For many, the mere mention of mothers invariably brings a rush of warm memories, and even makes one wax sentimental for our own mother’s unconditional love, nurturing care (especially during sickness), and even the challenge to aspire to be the best that we can be.

In the Philippines, we thank Samie Lim, of Retailers and Franchise fame and a good friend, for his “earnest move” in 1980 to advocate for this special day to be celebrated here during the month of May. The Philippine STAR, in its issue of May 12, 2001, honored Samie in an article entitled “The Founder of Mother’s Day in the Philippines is a Man.”

However, it is interesting to recall that honoring mothers is not just a modern day phenomenon. In fact, our Christian faith teaches us that honoring our mother (and father) was an instruction God decreed from the very start. As the Israelites, our forefathers in the faith journeyed from Egypt to the Promised Land, God gave them the Ten Commandments by which they shall live their lives. The 4th of these Commandments goes:

“ Respect your father and your mother, as I the Lord your God, command you, so that all may go well with you and so that you may live a long time in the land that I am giving you” (Deutoronomy 5: 16).

Often overlooked or forgotten is the wonderful consequence and promise awaiting those who follow the commandment — “so that all may go well with you, and so that you may live a long life in the land I am giving you.” Wow. Of the Ten Commandments, only this 4th Commandment on respecting father and mother carries with it such consequence and promise, indicating the extraordinary importance the Lord has placed on this particular commandment.

One would thus expect that this would be the most honored of the commandments. Sadly, it is not so. We continue to be shocked by stories of battered wives and mothers. We continue to be appalled by those who wish to prevent the capacity of women for motherhood. We continue to be puzzled by those who push for programs and structures that will destroy the very concept of family.

And indeed, motherhood cannot be detached or taken away from the setting of family. There is no mother when there is no child, when there is no family.

It is in most everybody’s lips — the family is the basic unit of society. Yet the family is under attack, vicious attack. One wonders why, what motivates those who are doing so? Many misunderstand and even malign the Catholic Church in taking a strong position on family and pro-life issues. On the contrary, we should be grateful that Church saw the worrisome trend early enough and stood firm for the moral values that will help ensure the preservation of humanity, with the wonderful institution of marriage and the family at its core. Much like the monasteries of old that kept culture and civilization preserved through the dark ages and until the dawn of the renaissance, the Church of today takes her stand to preserve what is essential for our well being as society, unpopular such stand may be.

In the introduction to “Familiaris Consortio,” which Pope John Paul II issued 30 years ago on November 22, 1981, he writes:

“At a moment of history in which the family is the object of numerous forces that seek to destroy it or in some way deform it, and aware that the well-being of society and her own good are intimately tied to the good of the family, the Church perceives in a more urgent and compelling way her mission of proclaiming to all people the plan of God for marriage and the family, ensuring their full vitality and human and Christian development, and thus contributing to the renewal of society and the People of God.”

My mother is at the twilight of her years at 93. She is hearing challenged. We cannot now keep a decent conversation with her, although from time to time she surprises us when she responds verbally to what we say. My mother is memory challenged. Most times she cannot even recognize us her children anymore, although again there are precious moments that her eyes light up in recognition, especially as my caring wife Babylou patiently prods her on. My mother is mobility challenged. She can no longer move around by herself. She needs to be assisted to eat or to go to the toilet and bathroom. We are pleasantly surprised when at rare moments she stands up on her own and starts walking, though concerned, too, for fear she might easily stumble and fall.

But our love for her has even intensified. For beyond her frail condition now, we remember the love, care, guidance, and yes, the discipline she showered us with. We are forever grateful.

One final legacy she has shared with us — the gift of faith and prayer. When she was stronger, she would wake up early at 4 a.m. and pray the rosary with our household helps, interceding with the Blessed Mother for the welfare of her sons and our respective families. It was a gesture of love that, as I look back now, has truly provided us with strength and protection through all these years, especially during our own trying moments.

In her present condition, one of her favorite poems resonates ever clearly in my mind — “To a Waterfowl,” by William Cullen Bryant, especially the last stanza that reads:

“He who from zone to zone

Guides through the boundless sky thy certain flight

In the long way that I must tread alone

Will lead my steps aright.”

Indeed, from the beginning of our life in our mother’s womb, till the end of our days, especially when we are feeling alone, it is about God and His love for us.

Thank you Mommy. Happy Mother’s Day to all!