The crazy teacher

Some say teaching is a vocation. My view, however, is that teaching is a sign of mental illness. Yes, teachers are all insane. Why else would they stick with a job that pays so little? Surely they could get other more profitable jobs but they choose to stay in the teaching profession. Crazier still, there are some who take money from what little they get and spend it on their students!

Another tell-tale sign of teachers’ mental illness is multiple personality disorder. The tough as nails, tiger-on-the-prowl type of teacher turns into the person who writes a comforting note to a student. Quick as a flash, the iron fist that maintains order becomes the gentle, sympathetic hand on a dejected student’s shoulder. On a daily basis, the teacher weaves in and out of various roles. Teachers change at a rate that would make a chameleon’s head spin. Why? To become what their students need. “I am a cheerleader because you need to know that someone has faith in you.” “I am a dancer, singer, and artist because you need to know that your learning is worth my effort.” “I am a comedian because you need to know that having a good sense of humor is as essential to our survival as breathing.” “I am a keeper of the peace because all this fighting hurts you.” “I’m a General because you need to know that discipline and order are important if you want to succeed.” A teacher is, as can plainly be seen, never “just” a teacher. 

Another sign of craziness is the fact that teachers suffer hallucinations. Although the child before them may be as standoffish and lazy as children come, the teacher doesn’t see that. Instead, the teacher sees an upstanding and likable person who just needs a little more help along the way. That vision is what keeps the teacher coming back to the classroom everyday, instead of running to the hills, screaming. These hallucinations are so powerful, in fact, that some people spend an entire lifetime dedicated to teaching. They remain teachers despite the perils of the job. What are these perils? Well, a small salary is a small matter compared to the other things that lie in store: mountains of paperwork, occasional attacks from irate parents, and students who carry their weapons of mass DIS-truction (disinterest in the subject and disdain for the person teaching it). Why do teachers put up with all of this? Because they believe that somehow, at some point in the future, the hallucinations will become reality. Someday, Student A is going to be an honest and honorable politician. Someday, Student B will help provide other people with good jobs and brighter futures. Student C will finally bring peace to Mindanao. On and on it goes.

I’m entering my seventh year of teaching. I know I’m crazy. But I also know this: the world we live in seems even crazier. People, when faced with failure, turn to violence instead of trying to turn their lives around. Society builds a pedestal and places profit upon it. And if that pedestal is built on the backs of others, crushing them and driving them six feet under, then that’s just how it goes. Who are these people who do such terrible things? Well, they are just that — people. Not monsters. And that’s what makes what they do even more horrific.

I keep that in mind everyday that I am in the classroom. I know that years from now, when my students have stepped out into the real world, they too are capable of doing horrific things. But I also know something else. And I remain a teacher because I choose to believe it: my students are equally capable of choosing not to do these things, even if doing them would be easier or more profitable. They are capable of using their intelligence and, more importantly, their character to grab hold of this runaway carriage we’re trapped in. My students are wise enough to know the right path. And they are strong enough to lead us there. These are the things that I believe. It is my duty to teach my students well enough so that they may believe these things too.

It’s true that teaching is often backbreaking and thankless. It would make much more sense to get a job that demands less and pays more. But I’m going to continue teaching anyway. I choose to stay crazy. Because as I see it, it’s the only way to get some sanity back into this world.

CRISELDA SAN teaches Composition at PAREF Woodrose School.