Lessons learned

These are some of the lessons I learned from Medy’s battle with bile:

1. Prayers work. Even some of the doctors at Makati Medical Center admitted afterwards that they did not expect Medy to survive her stay in the ICU. The storm of prayers done by friends and friends of friends from all over the world (thanks to the Internet) moved God to intervene in the medical process.

2. Religion does not matter. Most of our friends are Catholic, many are Christian, some are Islamic, and a few are Jewish, and they all prayed to the same God (who is called by different names). I am sure that God does not much care if those praying go to different places of worship on different days of the week. God looks directly into the hearts of people, where it was clear that concern for Medy was foremost.

3. Always get a second opinion. We immediately agreed to the first operation when the doctor suggested it. Had we asked other doctors, we would never have gone through with it. Several doctors we asked afterwards said laparoscopic cholecystectomy was ill-advised, since Medy’s gall bladder was embedded in her liver. A senior doctor from the Philippine General Hospital put it this way, “You have to have done a thousand lapcholes to be good at it.”

4. There are doctors and there are doctors. Most of our doctors do not mind talking to us by cellphone and even giving prescriptions through texts to be shown to pharmacists. These doctors do not worry about their fees; they represent the best disciples of Hippocrates. There are a few doctors, however, who will talk to you only during their clinic hours and only if you pay for the visits.

6. American hospitals are not necessarily better than Philippine hospitals. This is what one American doctor in California said when we consulted him: “I recommend that you don’t treat her in the US, because she wouldn’t get better care here than in Manila. The US is a good option if we were dealing with the heart, the brain, or other cases that need advanced technology or advanced skill. But Medy’s case fundamentally requires skilled doctors and not so much high-tech.” The same doctor recommended going to St. Luke’s Medical Center, which he regarded as an excellent hospital even better than those in Singapore.

7. Money is not as important as life. Well-meaning friends have asked us whether we still have savings. The answer is the old saying: “Ang pera, pag nawala, pwedeng kitain muli, pero ang buhay, pag nawala, wala na” (Money lost can be earned back, but a life lost is lost forever).

8. Exercise to prepare for emergencies. Without her daily hour at the treadmill, Medy’s heart would never have carried her through the crisis.

9. Have friends. The more friends you have, the better. You need friends, as well as family, around you when you get desperate. All our friends and all their friends responded quickly to our calls for prayers. Friendship, however, is always a two-way street. When your friends get desperate, you have to rush to their side. Drop everything you are doing and do what they have done and will always do for you – make their personal crisis the center of your life.

10. Trust your doctors. They are human, just like you. They make mistakes, just like you. But they have trained long and hard to do what they know how to do. They will always do their best to keep you alive and in good health. They know much more than you do. Follow what they say. Do not second guess them.

11. Trust God. You cannot depend completely on human talent and wisdom. In the end, God calls the shots. God did not create you just to make your life miserable. God is always looking out for you. God is always doing what is good for you. Nothing that happens to you can ever be really bad for you. God has a reason for everything, and your puny human mind cannot possibly comprehend the divine design.

Thank you to the MDs (in the Philippines, the US, and Singapore) who helped bring Medy back to life, whether by joining the medical teams or offering medical advice or moral support on the sidelines (in alphabetical order): Alipio Abad, Salvador Abad Santos, Nolan Aludino, Jimmy Aragon, Ramon Arcadio, Elizabeth Arcellana, Benjamin Benitez, Frances Bernardo, Hermin Calma, Marianne Cayco, Juliet Gopez-Cervantes, Dennis Damaso, Dina Diaz, Romeo Diaz, Jackson Dy, Christine Fausto, Filologo Felix, Ma. Tarcela Gler, Godofredo Godoy, Erwin Gomez, Jonnel Lim, Juan Madariaga, Karl Morales, Carol Narvacan, Ruben Ortega, Elmar Perez, Willie Pulido, Eugene Pulmano, Jesus Relos, Ramon Santos-Ocampo, Romeo Saavedra, Menandro Siozon, George Soo, Remedios Suntay, Ma. Milan Tambunting, Jaime Galvez-Tan, K. C. Tan, Catherine Teh, Annabelle Vergel de Dios, Alex Yap, and others. Thank you also to the countless non-doctors (especially Robert F. Kuan, chairman of St. Luke’s Medical Center, and the nurses of four hospitals), who worked, prayed, visited, and watched with us through the long, dark night of Medy’s battle with bile.