Last Thursday, I was asked by the coordinator of the Men’s Discipleship group that I attended if I could teach that day, so I did a very quick prayer and was reminded of the preaching from the Sunday before on “Loving the City and being Generous.”
Since today is National Heroes Day and the headlines are splashed with “generous” government officials and agencies giving away millions of taxpayer’s money to our “heroes” in sports, I suppose it is appropriate to raise the question for everyone to reflect on: how generous are you?
While the initial reaction is “I consider myself generous” the question is “How?” In our circle of honest reflection and accountability, the answers were “not very,” “I’m relatively generous,” “not generous enough,” “it depends,” “stupidly generous” and “to the point it begins to hurt.”
People who are “not very” generous are not necessarily selfish. They often have very limited resources or self-limiting beliefs. I often remind people of the saying, “You cannot give what you do not have” and especially if what you have is meant for others who depend on it or on you to provide.
It is not a rare thing to hear foreigners say how “nice Filipino people” are because even if they barely have enough food on the table, they will still invite you to eat with them. I know married couples who have had big fights because the spouse is too generous to friends at the expense of the family.
On the other side is the guy with self-limiting beliefs sown from childhood. A poverty mindset believing that lack or shortage is a constant. Living in fear of money running out or losing a job to the point they can’t imagine or see themselves being blessed and therefore are not a blessing to others.
The one who is “relatively generous” depends on how much they have, how much they need and how much extra is available or the degree of relationship or urgency that requires their generosity.
Many of us will probably say “not enough” because Filipinos are culturally and individually generous. Unfortunately, we have priorities and limitations, and we are also bombarded by false narratives about lazy opportunistic people and government propaganda about how syndicates use them to collect money.
The rest of us simply got torched or burned by others who took advantage of our generosity or “pusong mamon” as well as our wallets and never looked back with gratitude or appreciation.
Mr. “It depends” is quite different because his generosity rises dependent on his mental state or “what’s in it for me?” His generosity is triggered by the environment, his mood or the drama in front of him. He won’t roll down his window on a rainy day except if a rain-soaked little boy or girl with sampaguita garlands stands in front of him shivering.
He won’t give in church, but he’ll help a hospitalized officemate in need of money. He might buy a nice gift for a person he does business with but not necessarily splurge on his wife or kids.
On the polar opposite is the one who is “stupidly generous.”We have all been there. My sore thumb is helping based on relationship but lacking wisdom. We help sacrificially only to find out that the person could have helped themselves.
One of the guys reached a point where he was told by many friends that his “generosity was no longer kabaitan or kindness, but katangahan or stupidity.” That’s when the victim we help turns us into victims as well.
The last is the giver “to the point it hurts.” This is exemplified in the stories of poor widows in the Bible who gave their last money, last meal, to God or to servants of God. You might say this is religiosity, but allow me to point out, we are still talking about those poor widows as well as the woman who washed the feet of Jesus, centuries after the fact.
No CEO or super-corporation has a perpetual legacy and story that has lived and thrived as long as theirs. In terms of generosity, they gave to GOD. How can you possibly lose on that deal? In terms of “how,” giving to the point it hurts indicates that it is not limited by beliefs, emotions, surplus or reserves. It is a desire and nature of being.
It tells us that the level of generosity is a commitment, not a condition or for show. What’s interesting is that when you study and spend time with the Generous and the Givers long enough, you will see that they continue to make more, gain more and earn more.
I know many successful men and women who started out in life as ordinary folks, regular students, but had a helpful generous soul. Little by little, they got promoted, got opportunities, became successful, got noticed, attracted allies and partners and went from earning thousands to millions to billions.
Media always talked about their businesses, etc. but rarely about the details on the countless people they helped get a job, send to school, pay for hospitalization, pay for rent or electricity, pay for burial expenses. All these amounting to hundreds of millions over 20 to 30 years. They don’t give it much thought because they started out with little and been giving even then.
So, is your generosity incidental or intentional? Is it a portion based on availability or is it percentage? I never endorse things I have not tried and tested over time, but allow me to suggest, go for the intentional and percentage for what you sow, you shall reap.
Be generous to yourself, to your immediate family, to your church and those that GOD sends your way. You can’t help everybody, just the one in front of you. May you be RICHLY blessed!
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