Wannabes provide comic relief

MANILA, Philippines - The surprise appearance of Kris Aquino’s “husband” and of the “owner” of the entire Philippine archipelago provided comic relief on the first day of filing of certificates of candidacy (COCs) yesterday at the Commission on Elections (Comelec).

These candidates and other scene-stealers eased the tediousness of waiting for known politicians to arrive to lodge their COCs at the jampacked Project Management Office (PMO) of the Comelec.

First to catch media’s attention was 52-year-old Daniel Magtira of Tondo, Manila, who listed Kris Aquino as his wife in his COC and his occupation as “Talentadong Pinoy TV 5,” a talent search show on TV-5.

Wearing a suit with nameplate bearing “Sen. Magtira” on his chest, he read a two-page speech on his promise to eliminate poverty and give justice to those who have been wronged.

In his COC, Magtira claimed that he was nominated by former first lady Imelda Marcos and Congressman Carlo Lopez of District II, Tondo. Before leaving the room, Magtira surprised reporters and Comelec personnel when he threw blue shirts and coins.

Another senatorial wannabe who caught the crowd’s attention was Melito Lagata, 68, who arrived in barong Tagalog and sporting curly rust-colored hair.

After filing his COC, Lagata seemed to have been smitten by GMA-7 reporter Tina Panganiban-Perez, whom he approached. After shaking her hand, he walked away and turned back suddenly to propose marriage.

“I am willing to marry you in any church. I’m a good kisser,” he told Perez, eliciting cheers from the broadcaster’s co-workers.

When asked about his plans for the country, Lagata quipped: “Baka hindi nyo naman ito ilabas sa TV. Lalabas ba ito (You might not air it on TV, will it be aired)?”

Candidate Lacan Luisong Tagean Salam, 55, of Naga City, on the other hand, claimed that he intends to provide land for the landless if he becomes senator.

“I’m the legitimate heir, I’m the landowner of the whole archipelago, of the whole Philippines. The Spratlys Island and the Scarborough Shoal are owned by Lacan Lusung and I am the legitimate heir,” Salam added.

When the clock struck 5 p.m., the Comelec had collected 20 COCs, half of which were filed by unknown individuals.

Last to file was 31-year-old Remelyn Ajel, a midwife and resident of San Pablo, Isabela.

Under the Omnibus Election Code, the Comelec screens COCs to determine who are qualified to actually run and who shall be declared nuisance candidates.

The Code defines a nuisance candidate as one who files candidacy to put the election process in mockery, and who has no genuine intention to run for office and whose real purpose is to cause confusion among voters because of the similarity of his name to that of another candidate or candidates.