‘Frigid’ Ifugao wives breaking up marriages — hubbies

BAGUIO CITY — It’s not just the weather.

Men in this normally cool mountain province are blaming their wives for turning "frigid," eventually resulting in marital breakups.

Ifugao fathers aired this complaint during the first provincial Empowerment and Reaffirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT) assembly held recently at the Lagawe Central School Conference Hall here, the government-run Philippine Information Agency (PIA) said.

The outspoken Ifugao husbands said that "unloving and uncaring wives made the sex poor if not nonexistent," which made the marriage suffer.

Male Ifugaos stood and spoke up during the family month celebration last September where issues and concerns regarding the family as the basic foundation of society were discussed.

The gathering was called by government to chart proper actions to strengthen and support the family.

The theme for this year’s Family Month Celebration is "Karangalan ng Bayan, Pamilya Ang Pagmumulan: Kalalakihan Kaagapay Sa Pagbuo ng Marangal at Masayang Pamilya."

Ifugao men, especially fathers, the PIA claimed, who came from the different towns acknowledged the adage that behind the success of a man is a woman, but they also believe that the reverse can also be true.

According to the PIA, Ifugao men said that deteriorating respect between couples, domineering wives, loneliness because the wife is working abroad, low income, religious differences, different interests, low education, unemployment due to lack of job opportunities, large family size, early marriages, poverty and vices such as drunkenness and gambling are among the irritants in the relationship of couples.

Most of the participants said these family problems lead to serious conflicts, resulting in broken families and juvenile delinquencies which add to the social problem of the community, said Dan Codamon of PIA-Ifugao.

To avert and address these issues, the participants underwent "unlearning processes" on responsible parenthood leveling off on the father as caregiver; marriage woes and how to manage these conflicts with the end in view of saving the family.

The "unlearning process" is anchored on the premise that the father and mother are the pillars of the family and are thus given responsibilities and roles to fulfill for the sake of the family.

Codamon said the basic principle of marriage was the biblical reminder that "God created man and woman in his image and instituted marriage as a responsible way for procreation."

It was reiterated that in order for a family to have a sense of direction, the couple should have a vision or dream of having a happy family and this could be strengthened through constant communication between couples, and synergy in their efforts and action to achieve the goals of their union.

Virtues between couples like trust, respect, patience, understanding and tolerance were also stressed but the most important was love in order to sustain a happy union.

Codamon said Ifugao men, although glad that they were able to give vent to frustrations in the assembly, wanted their wives to have been present so that issues and concerns can be "honestly and objectively" threshed out.

A separate assembly was held earlier for mothers in Ifugao.