‘Gridiron’ gives humorless Gloria medium-rare roasting

The heat was turned on, but the National Press Club (NPC)’s Gridiron Friday night proved more than bearable for President Arroyo.

"Let me thank you that the jokes and the roasting were medium rare. I dread the thought of coming back next year when you’ve had a full year of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo," the President said after the skit presented by the NPC at its headquarters in Intramuros.

The President told NPC members led by president Antonio Antonio that the evening’s jokes may be on her, but she prefers an "abusadong" (abusive) press to the Abu Sayyaf bandits.

"I like the silence of the graveyard for the Abu Sayyaf, but not for the abu-sadong media."

"Kahit na kayo ay abusado, I still want you to make your noise," she said.

"You know, I don’t have a sense of humor. I take everybody seriously. So this speech of mine was more difficult than the speech I made in EDSA or many other speeches," Mrs. Arroyo admitted.

The President expressed relief her speech drew laughter from the journalists. "At least, more or less, I can say that this speech is already successful," she said.

She called the Gridiron Night, whose theme was "Glorya ni Gloria: Walang Erap-Erap" a "Greedy-iron" night, taking a dig at the P10,000-per-plate dinner.

The P10,000-dinner consisted of spaghetti, grilled chicken legs and wings, green salad and pork spareribs catered by former newsman Larry Cruz.

Mr. Arroyo didn’t eat, but enjoyed drinking her favorite XO brandy "for old times’ sake" with media friends like NPC vice president Butch del Castillo.

"Sorry for the slip on the tongue about the Greedy-Iron, but I keep on thinking that it should always be greedy, but greedy for laughs," she said.

On a roll, Mrs. Arroyo did not spare her own Press Secretary Noel Cabrera.

She said Cabrera was "not talking straight" anymore, referring to the way Cabrera stammered when he introduced her.

The President noted that Defense Secretary Angelo Reyes, who paid for a table of 10, was spared from the roasting.

But though she was a good sport, the President could not resist defending herself.

"It is not true, like in the song they sang, that I push Mike around. He is always my loving and caring husband," she said. Then she turned to him and said, "Wait a minute, darling. Have you already cleaned my eyeglasses?"

She also noticed the joke played on her height during the skit.

Freelance journalist Susan Amoroso, who played the part of the President, sang, "I’m taller than everybody else because I’m President."

"The truth is I am cute and short but I am above gossip," Mrs. Arroyo retorted.

She recalled with amusement that when she watched newscasts of her oath-taking aired on foreign networks, correspondents were saying they could not see her because of her height.

The 4 ft. 11 in. President said she was again on foreign news programs when newly sprung Abu Sayyaf hostage Jeffrey Schilling was presented to her.

"They are finally taking notice of me," she quipped.

Mrs. Arroyo assured the media, however, that while she takes criticism against her administration seriously, she does not take them personally.

"I am also a victim of wrong reports but I don’t mind them, although some columnists act like some gods. For those columnists who think they’re God, I think they are people too, they act human and err like any other human being. But that’s democracy for you," she pointed out. – Marichu Villanueva