I am a high school student and I have a classmate whom I like so much but she thinks of me as a gay maybe because I’m closer with my female classmates than the males. What will I do? How can I show her that I am really not gay?
CONFUSED
Well, if you stop wearing a pink mini to school that could be a good start. But seriously, there must be more to it than just the fact that you spend a lot of time with females. When I was at school, all the guys wanted to hang out with the girls, although preferably in secluded places after dark. Anyway, are you sure there isn’t anything else that you’re doing that might make you seem gay? Are you spending too much time listening to Broadway musicals and watching Meg Ryan movies? Do you have matching Prada shoes to go with the Prada schoolbag, wallet and belt? Do you insist on redecorating your school locker in fuchsia? Or insist the canteen start serving quiche with lemon on the side? All of these and more could have a large part of the school population thinking that you’re about as straight as the road to Baguio.
So what can you do to change their opinion of you (and her opinion in particular)? Well, you could start by spending time with her and just casually dropping heterosexual type hints. If you’re watching a movie together, it’s pretty normal for a straight guy to comment how he finds an actress in the film hot or sexy. Don’t however start commenting on her dress sense and hairstyle… that’s definite limp-wrist territory. Seeing as you have a lot of friends that are girls, maybe you can also enlist their help to give you a hand too. They probably know this girl as well, so maybe they can start dropping hints into their conversations when she’s around. Maybe by mentioning your name and saying how you’re such a cool and sensitive guy and they hope you meet a nice girl sometime soon. Or that you’ve been telling them about this one girl at school you’re really attracted to although you won’t tell them who she is. This might also pique her interest and make her wonder if it could be her.
One thing you shouldn’t do, however, is dramatically change who you are. Dressing like a slob, grabbing girls’ butts and being vulgar doesn’t make you more masculine, it just makes you an a**hole. Even if it did help people think of you as straight, there’s bugger all chance of getting a date with any girl except the most desperate, and even then she’d probably need a bottle of tequila and a blindfold.
Now all this being said, have you ever considered playing this situation to your advantage? This girl thinks you’re gay, right? Well, that means she is less likely to put up any psychological or emotional defenses the way she would usually with other guys. You know what I mean, keeping her true feelings and thoughts to herself, etc. Gay men are non-threatening to girls, as the girls know they don’t have any ulterior motive other than friendship. This could be your chance to get to know her a lot better than you would if she thought you were straight. Now I’m not saying you should sashay up to her in a dress and start comparing panty lines or anything, but maybe just be yourself for a while and get to know her better. Don’t play up on the gay thing as it’ll backfire on you later, but maybe just don’t try and convince her otherwise straight off the bat. Give it a bit of time so that she really gets to know you well and vice versa. Once you feel comfortable with each other it could be the right time for your female friends to start dropping those hints. Once she hears that you’re interested in a girl (and therefore not gay), she may then connect the dots and conclude it may be her. That way she can appreciate you for who you are before realizing that you are actually straight, and hey, guess what? She now knows you’re a sweet guy as well. Wish you luck! Cheers!
MARC