When I shared my decision to breastfeed my baby, I got all sorts of helpful advice from family, friends and advocates. The support was wonderful, boosting my confidence as a first time mom.
Then there were comments that weren’t so pleasant to hear. They bothered me at first, but over time I learned to just let them in one ear and out the other. Here are five things you won’t like to hear (but will!) when you’re breastfeeding:
“Your baby is so thin.” When a baby tends to be on the small side, it’s easy to assume that she’s not thriving as well as her peers. “Maybe breastfeeding is not enough,” one relative asked. “Maybe you should stop breastfeeding so your son will gain weight,” advised another. The fact is that breastfed infants grow to be leaner than formula-fed babies. For as long as your child is getting all the nutrients he needs and your doctor doesn’t see any cause for alarm, that lean baby of yours is fine. A lot of people still see chubby as an equivalent to healthy. Lean children can be healthy too, especially those who’ve been breastfed.
“When will you stop breastfeeding?” It’s none of their business, right? Unfortunately I get that question a lot, especially when others learn that I still nurse my 2-year-old son. I simply answer, “For as long as I can.” There may be family members and relatives who are uncomfortable at the thought of you breastfeeding all the way to toddler age, but don’t let their awkwardness stop you from nursing. You and your baby make the choice when to stop breastfeeding.
“Why don’t you just breastfeed at home?” Nursing a baby outside the home isn’t as difficult as others think. There are a lot of paraphernalia now that help Mom breastfeed discreetly and stylishly – breastfeeding wraps, ponchos, tops designed especially for the nursing Mom. There are also nursing rooms in various malls around the city, encouraging mothers to continue nursing even when taking a break with baby away from home. Some may be embarrassed by the idea of you breastfeeding in public. Do what is comfortable for you and the baby.
“Your small breasts won’t produce milk.” With breastfeeding, breast size doesn’t matter. Bigger breasts have more fatty tissue, but this has no effect on your milk supply. The more you nurse, the more milk your body produces. So if you’re not well-endowed and want to breastfeed, don’t worry about it. For as long as you nurse your baby continuously, you’ll have an adequate (sometimes even more than enough!) supply of milk.
“Your breasts will sag.” Hereditary factors, age, smoking, excessive weight gain in pregnancy or inadequate support make breasts lose elasticity, not breastfeeding. You may feel like they’re sagging, especially with the infant latched on to you for most of the day. Don’t worry – nursing your baby won’t make your breasts sag. If this still worries you, wear a good support bra during and after pregnancy.
While breastfeeding is an intimate experience between mother and baby, the reality is that there are still others who have a different perspective or understanding of it. Instead of getting upset or offended by unsolicited advice, you can do two things. One, ignore them. Two, ask for their support and help illuminate them on the facts and benefits of breastfeeding. Who knows? You might be clarifying some things for the next new mom, giving her the confidence boost she just might need in nursing her baby.