Charice gets Botox
MANILA, Philippines - If you thought Madam Auring pushed the boundaries of the plastic surgery age limit, then you haven’t heard about Charice. In the week’s most talked-about issue, Charice decided to get some Belo injections in preparation for her role on Glee, though her reps later clarified that the Botox treatment was actually for the prevention of a condition similar to TMJ. (Google, please.) Perez Hilton posted on his blog a video grab from GMA 7, which generated mixed reactions from fans. TMZ also picked-up the story, with Lisa Lampanelli going overboard with an acidic racist remark. Charice, you’re on Glee to sing, and maybe spank some Jewish ass. Practice those scales and lay off the Botox.
Leo is coming to town
No, he won’t be shooting local versions of Catch Me if You Can with Gloria Arroyo or Blood Diamond with Imelda Marcos; but yes, Hollywood A-lister and ship-sinking survivor Leonardo di Caprio will be coming to the Philippines. Albay Governor Joey Salceda has already confirmed the visit in August for an eco-adventure tourism publicity stint. Leo will be doing extreme water sports in Misibis Bay, and will also do some trekking and hiking in the mountains nearby. A Manila visit or press con is still unclear, but TV stations are, of course, all agog to get him on their shows. We heard Zoren Legaspi is now negotiating to get Leo guest judge in the Bicol Episode of “Kitcheennnnn Baaaaattles!”
Mel Gibson and the ex-wives
Wise words from Mr. West, “Now I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigger, but she ain’t messin with no broke niggas.” Perhaps, Mel Gibson should’ve listened to Kanye, instead of the little Mel in his pants. Ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva leaked a recording of an obviously drunk Mel being racist and abusive. The only one in Mel’s corner? His first ex-wife, the wife he dumped for this one. Let this be a lesson to anyone in a midlife crisis.
The Vampire Weekend lawsuit
A warning to this copy-paste-friendly generation: Be careful whose face you photoshop. Indie band Vampire Weekend finds itself in the thick of a lawsuit after Ann Kirsten Kennis, the girl on the cover of their chart-topping Contra album, sued them for not asking permission to use her image. Maybe next time, Ezra and the boys can spend more time reading up on copyright laws, instead of drinking Horchata and ruminating on Oxford commas.
Limbo Bar
Famed lensman Wesley Villarica recently opened Manila’s first fully digital bar and art gallery. Limo Bar and Art Gallery, situated in the corner of 31st and 1st in Fort Global City, boasts expansive walls (all the better to see your art with) and a well-stocked bar of cocktails and shooters (all the better to get wasted with).
‘Jersey Shore’ pay raise?
For one 30-minute episode, each friend on Friends was at one point, paid $750,000 for their chemistry and comedic timing. The folks at Jersey Shore, sensing the amount of natural charm and talent flowing in their bulging veins, seems to have gotten inspiration from Central Perk’s favorite customers. For the second season, the cast is playing hard ball, holding off shooting for more money. You might be wondering what the pay raise is for. Is it for their talent? No. Looks? Arguable but no. Work ethic? Definitely, not. Orange spray tan? Jackpot.
Mystica: Motivational speaker
After a lifetime of dancing in men’s clubs, and another of doing splits all over the PBA court, Mystica reinvents herself yet again by resurfacing as a motivational speaker. After years of inspiring stirrings in the pants of many an older foreign friend, she’s making a career out of inspiring people — sometimes to follow their dreams, other times to be a better lover. All this inspiration you can get with a simple YouTube search.
After Leo in August, Manila will again roll out the red carpet to welcome gay icon Madonna and the Barack Obama later this year. Madonna will also try to check if she can adopt a baby here, since she’s received an overwhelming turnout of willing parents. Some are now predicting she will be adopting two kids. “Grab a boy, grab a girl,” after all.
Also, US President Barack Obama will be paying a courtesy visit to Malacañang towards the end of the year, something ex-PGMA failed to mount before she stepped down from the presidency. P-Noy will be arranging special accommodations for Obama, even getting a bed made originally for him. It will be called o-kama.
‘Inception’ fondles your mind
You fall into a trance and see ex-PGMA held hostage in Maguindanao. Then you see Mike Arroyo driving a backhoe. Abruptly, you can’t remember anything because your dream is stolen. That’s basically how this latest mind-boggling Leo di Caprio sci-fi thriller works to give your brain a hand job while it makes out with your mind. Christopher Nolan wrote and directed the film, taking inspiration from his fascination with psychic espionage. Haven’t watched the movie yet? Prepare your mind for an exhilarating ride that will make you tired of thinking as the plot coils around its own. Connect-the-dots has never been this straining, the lines it draws blurring reality and trance. So did we just watch the movie, or were we dreaming?
P-Noy’s first SONA
On Monday, P-Noy takes the podium and addresses the nation once again for his first State of the Nation Address. He is expected to report on the stupor of the country, a month after the Arroyo regime stepped down from power. Security has been arranged and tightened as well, since the no wang-wang policy is still in effect.