The legal wife

I have been watching The Legal Wife on I Want TV, a local video-on-demand and live streaming website where you can watch TV shows from ABS-CBN any time you want as long as you are registered. You can use an ABS-CBN Mobile, or be a Sky Cable subscriber (call 381-0000 for more information). It is so convenient because you can pause, rewind, and although there are commercials, they’re not as lengthy as the ones on TV. Visit www.iwanttv.com.ph for more details.

I found the acting engaging. I think Angel Locsin does a superb job, and I was surprised that the very sweet Maja Salvador could pull it off, getting the viewer irked at her ways. I was curious how it would end.

For the non-viewer, a brief history: The Legal Wife is about a couple. Adrian, the husband (Jericho Rosales), foolishly has an affair with Nicole (Salvador) hurting his “legal wife” Monica (Locsin). He is repentant — and it shows when he repeatedly refuses the insistent advances of Nicole. However, Monica is so deeply hurt, it’s hard for her to accept him again. Because they both still love one another, one is left hanging until the very end wondering if they will get back together or not.
Darn. They don’t. It ends sweetly though. They kiss — there is the promise of “maybe” in the future — but you never know. I can understand why the writers may have decided to end it that way to send a message: Do not cheat. It’s just not worth it. There are images of the happy life they had before — and how now that’s all put asunder because of the infidelity.

For the mistresses — the angst Nicole endures, being “the other woman,” sends the message — being second in line is not worth the pain. Why demean yourself? We are all worthy of so much more. Because the situation in the Philippines is one where many men do go astray and the wives just take it all in, a movie where the wife takes a stand is perhaps hoped to send the right message.

The reactions to the ending have been diverse. My manicurista was emotional in criticizing the ending. She said the whole barangay had been avidly following the teleserye and were not pleased with the ending. Filipinos like happy endings. The live vicariously through the media — happy endings take away the drudgery of life.
Interesting that two of my management staff liked the ending. One said she liked it that Monica made a stand — that she was true to herself. Another said she liked the fact that the series ended hopefully. She could understand the pain of betrayal that Monica felt and her fear for the well-being of her children. One of my middle management staff had been hurt before, so she liked the ending. She felt that Monica needed more time to heal.
I would be interested in research conducted on the “favored endings per economic class and per temperament.” Just wondering...

I feel the teleserye is full of lessons to be learned.

So I am going to give my take based on these lessons.

In the last episode, Monica finally admits she still loves Adrian. Choking with tears, she expresses that the reason why she does not want to go back is because she is afraid that he might betray her trust again. She literally trembles at the pain it would inflict on her kids. She does not want to take the risk.

Fear. From my experience — any decision influenced by fear can never, ever be productive. One does not venture forward because of fear. It stops the light from shining in.

Yes, he might break her heart again. But yes, he also might give her a future even brighter and warmer than anything they have ever had — just because he carries with him the momentum of a reformed man. So the important question is: should the fear of one situation stop the other more sunny possibility from happening at all?
When one looks at the past episodes, repeatedly Adrian refuses the advances of Nicole. Repeatedly he states he loves Monica. He looks for them in the States. His pain is heartfelt and sincere. In every episode he is seen as an ideal father. An inherently good man. So he made a mistake. Who doesn’t?

Monica also still loves Adrian. Despite the warmth and loyalty of Max (JC De Vera) who loves her, their relationship remains platonic. Even Max can feel Monica still loves Adrian.

So why can’t they just be together again? Why can’t the relationship have another chance at a breath of fresh air? Isn’t that what life is all about? Second chances?

What stops this bright future from happening?

Fear. The looming image of the negative that might happen. Why not choose in favor of the bright future that can be? What choice will bring on the warmth and love that will be good for her children? Is it worth the risk? I think and I feel it is. I am a firm believer in possibilities and a positive approach to life.

So what stops the bright future from happening?

Fear.

I emphasize this because several times this past week I observed similar circumstances — wherein someone had made a mistake and the person felt so bad at the mistake. Because of this, he was hesitant to move forward. The fear becomes a prison that stops his growth — and keeps him anchored in the reality of what was, instead of moving forward towards the possibility that can be.

Fear. It’s the worst thing ever. I see it all the time. It keeps people small. It is like a screen that affects the way we see the world.

Monica can see Adrian and feel afraid — or she can see Adrian, and feeling the good in him, “see” the situation very differently.  Same person. Same situation. Just two different takes on it.
Fear colors the way we see the world. The key is to be aware of it. The energy of fear is contracting. The energy of joy and confidence is expansive. The key to overcoming fear is to be aware of it. The key to overcoming any of our weaknesses is to be aware of it.

Fear stops the gold of the moment from becoming.

On the subject of fear, let me share my reflections on The Fault in Our Stars.

I love this movie. It reminded me of Love Story — a book I read when I was 16. I remember reading the book in my bedroom and my mother came in and looked at me, somewhat amused because I was crying uncontrollably on my bed. I read the book at one sitting. I watched the movie and my tears flowed just as profusely as when I had read the book.
Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw are perfectly cast in Love Story the movie.

What struck me in The Fault in Our Stars is how the two — who have a death knell looming over them because of the cancer that they have — still take on life with vivacity, and yes, without fear. Gus Waters (played by Ansel Elgort) is so funny. Hazel Lancaster (played by Shailene Woodley) is charming in her wanting to go to Amsterdam — wanting to find out the ending of a book. Neither has lost their zest for life. Would they have been able to enjoy the gold of the moment if they were imprisoned in fear — in a negative take on their current circumstances?
They enjoy the magic of their relationship. In their words, they “experience moments of infinity in the few days they have together.”

Love is all about hope, all about forgiving. It’s all about learning and committing to become better. Having said that, there is never any formulaic response to any situation. One could have the same situation, and different people acting differently. I would not give a second chance if my feel of the person was that he was not really sincere. Or that I would be far better off in another relationship. That decision would then not be based on fear, but on an intelligent and intuitive assessment of the situation.
I thought the ending of the series was actually hopeful, in that Monica was not closing doors — and yes, they even kissed! (I am an incurable romantic!) It’s a production thing.

If I were Monica — looking at Adrian, played by Jericho Rosales, and feeling for my children, and the father that loves them — I would have definitely given Adrian another chance.

I want to congratulate ABS-CBN for making this teleserye — and stimulating discussions like these. I would not be surprised if it was found that many marriages have become more solid after watching it. This is the redemptive value of media.

Life moves on.

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I can be reached at regina_lopez@abs-cbn.com.