What is love?
Love is this thread of heartness, which connects humanity and all of creation.
It is definitely much more than this kilig thing, which is so associated with Valentine’s — which is fine. That kilig is fun, it is special, it is charming. It is a special empathy with certain individuals. But love for me is so much deeper. Even between two individuals. I was reflecting on it and the word that came to my mind is steady. Love is steady. It’s deep. It’s always there. Quiet, unconditional. You can even rest on it. With people close to me, that’s what I feel. The love they have for me is steady. It’s always there. The love I feel for people close to me — it is steady. It is always there regardless — of arguments or whatever. The underlying current of concern and affinity is steady.
And it is precisely this “steadiness†that provides a resting place for the other. Let me explain resting place. When one is tired, or needs nourishment, one needs a place to rest on. Energetically, the steadiness of feeling one has for the other provides a space of solace, energetic support. It’s something so good to have.
By its very nature, steady means deep. One can’t be steady if the feeling is superficial — or if it’s based just on the physical, or is an infatuation. One can only be steady, and consistent if the sense of empathy is deep. It’s based on an awareness and recognition of the other on a much deeper level. Soul level is best. So no matter what happens physically, the level of empathy is there.
Steady.
True love is steady. It can’t be otherwise. To be steady, it has to be deep.
This is the same whether it be parental love, or love between peers, or even romantic love.
You can’t give what you don’t have. The deeper you are as a person, the more you have to give, the deeper your relationships are. You can’t love if you don’t know how to give. If all you think of is yourself, how can you think of the other? You can’t love if you are narcissistic because all you think about is yourself. The quieter you are inside, the more capable you are of giving.
Last night, I was resting on the steadiness of the love I feel the Divine has for me, and I realized another feature of love. Love is also receiving. It’s being open so one can receive the love that is there.
The very fact of receiving makes the other party feel fulfilled. Life is always a multidirectional flow.
It is Valentine’s. February is the month one celebrates love. It is a good time to go inside. Feel the love you have to give, and let it extend to the ones special to you. Feel just importantly the love that is there for you. Whether it be from the Divine or just from the people who really care for you. Feel that. It makes life special. My meditation teacher once said that the zenith of romantic relationships — when one reaches the peak of empathy — is when one feels Life, with a capital L. Feel the dynamism of what Life is all about. And actually, this a time when one can also feel The Divine. Enjoy!
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To all of you at this phase, don’t think too much — just experience the wonder and the beauty that life has to offer.
I can be reached at regina_lopez@abs-cbn.com.