Body language

Action speaks louder than words" is a popular adage. A gesture is better understood than words.

But the manner of doing it is equally important. Giving with a frown instead of a smile negates the positive act. If you are committed to give anyway, why do so grudgingly?

A long, long time ago, on our first day of high school in Maryknoll College, Quezon City, Maria Eva Kalaw and I went over to Delza Villongco to borrow a pencil. Delza opened her pencil box, brought out four pencils, and chose the dullest one and handed it over with a smart smirk. You guessed it. Maria Eva is Chingbee, who lost no time in complaining about our new skinny classmate, Delza or "Cherry Pie," who lent her the pencil. Eventually, Cherry Pie became our best friend.

* * *

Common sense tells us the behavior of individuals while performing a chore expresses the feelings and intentions in the process. A janitor humming a tune while mopping the floor and an executive twiddling his fingers while reclined on a swivel chair convey messages of cheer.

For that matter, facial expressions and the subtlest body movements contribute significantly to undersanding people in many professions like psychology, social work, the law and its enforcement. Its study is called kinesics.

Kinesics is defined as the study of body movements that contribute to the baring of the inner soul. It is the study of that human behavior innate in us, and yet still influenced by a society’s culture.

* * *

As parents, we observe our children in infancy and learn that our actions and facial expressions carry numerous meanings for them. A baby relies more on our unvoiced messages than vocalized ones. We don’t have to raise our voice at a child. I’ve looked sternly at my girls in anger and caused them to cry or cringe in embarrassment. Conversely, when we smile at a child, we are likely to elicit a smile in return. In turn, the child’s body language and his expressions are the first lessons that help adults understand them. A toddler in the arms of his nanny will turn to his mother and ask to be carried if she approaches. He will turn away if somebody not familiar to him offers to do the carrying.

* * *

How effective is the message that body movements convey? Practice kinesics and observe dancers on stage. Everyone’s attention is drawn to performers who execute a choreographed routine with lithe and gracefulness. We tend to ignore stiff and mechanical movements that are robotic in the same routine.

The posture of players as they leave the sports arena tells us a lot – like who won or lost. The human body is not only a vessel performing biological functions; it’s a unique medium in the communication process.

* * *

While the smile, the frown, and a number of gestures and expressions are understandable, it’s amusing that specific cultures may be different in their interpretations of body language. Nodding the head to affirm and shaking it in denial are common to Filipinos and to many western nations. But there are tribes where these movements mean the opposite, where a nod means "no" and the sideways head movement means "yes."

Another example is raising the right hand showing the open palm as a common gesture to say "peace," arising from man’s more lawless times where the display of an empty hand proved he had no weapon and meant no harm. The raising of both hands in surrender by defeated protagonists sends a similar message. However, raising the open palm in front of a child threatens punishment while raising both hands after a sporting competition is a celebration of victory. Give me five!

A last example I can think of is that of a person showing deference to a superior through body language. The Japanese bow and bow, the lower they bow, the higher the position of the person they are bowing to. The British curtsy to the Queen. In the Muslim world, they show respect for fellow Muslims with three kisses or more on both cheeks.

* * *

But how can kinesics be useful to us or to the professionals who study it? The science is most useful to those who must come face to face with adversaries to decipher if the man in question is misinforming and misleading. Where the need to detect misinterpretations and untruth is crucial, body language helps give clues as to whether a person is telling the truth in spite of what he or she says.

Body language is helpful for criminal investigators interrogating witnesses or suspects. Blushing, blinking of the eyes, twitching of hands or legs, and other voluntary and involuntary mannerisms are easy to detect and diagnose. Quite like that of an expectant father pacing up and down the lobby of a hospital’s maternity wing waiting… but he doesn’t know what’s he’s doing.

* * *

Our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, very likely had an understanding of kinesics when he wrote about Pilosopong Tasyo. The latter warned, "Beware when you are welcomed and greeted warmly, for a sinister plot may be against you."

Therefore, observe body language. It gives away lots of information.