Says Donald Trump, who sits as chairman and president of The Trump Organization and is co-producer of The Apprentice on NBC, "The most important lesson I learned from my father was to be responsible. He was a thoroughly responsible person. There aren’t too many people like that, I’ve discovered. He set an example, without being self-righteous, that could challenge anyone. I couldn’t have had a better example."
Donald vividly recalls tagging along with Dad to construction sites with the wide-eyed wonder of a child. "My father never had to instill this interest in me – it was there. I was enthralled with construction and buildings from the beginning and I was fortunate that my father was in the industry. He had an enormous influence over me as an example to live up to. I continue to live by his high standards of professionalism."
Great job, Donald – you’re hired!
The story of Fred and Donald Trump is just one of 38 father-son/daughter stories that editor Amy Rennert and Al Roker, the weatherman on the Today show, with the help of his friends, have cobbled together into a shoeper-duper book entitled, yes, Big Shoes – In Celebration of Dads and Fatherhood (available at Powerbooks).
But hey, why the big fuss over Dad? Isn’t he no more than an invisible figure of authority who ranks only next to Mom in the family hierarchy? Sure, Dad always has the last word when he argues with Mom, but it’s always "Yes, dear."
"Sure, we buy them the requisite tie on Father’s Day or their birthday. Maybe a power tool or ratchet set if they’re the handy type...," says Al Roker.
But it’s always Mom we remember in our 15 minutes of fame or moments of triumph, perhaps when we win a triathlon or make it to the top of Mt. Everest. "Mom, this one’s for you. I love you, Mom!" Have you ever seen the word FATHER tattooed on a hardened criminal or a tough guy, who turns to a jellied pulp at the mere mention of the word MOTHER?
"Not likely," Al asserts. "After all, for my generation, dads were generally the ones who meted out discipline and justice. You tend not to have warm, fuzzy feelings about the person who is about to punish you."
Well, Al – and his legion of friends – would like to change all that. "What I hope to do in Big Shoes is to get you thinking more about your father. What does the old guy really mean to you and to your life? How does what he did, and hopefully still does, influence you?"
After all, didn’t somebody say that Mother’s Day is nine months after Father’s Night?
Dad’s right! Fathers know best. Comedian and late-night talk show host Conan O’Brien loves to talk about his disciplinarian father, Dr. Thomas O’Brien, a research physician and associate professor at Harvard Medical School. He recounts that as a child, if he wanted to skip school so he could watch The Price Is Right, he would fake a sore throat – his father worked with infectious disease. His father would whip out a foot-long swab with a cotton tip and jam it down his throat and poke around for those nasty microbes with the expertise of a plumber. By the time he was done, Conan would really have a sore throat. The joke was on him.
"As time went on and I grew older, I came to appreciate my dad’s sense of humor," says Conan. "My father is a very funny guy with a great feel for visual comedy. He’d often take us to revival houses to see Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers, or WC Fields. He also loved the Pink Panther films and made sure that we saw all of them, and I think it was watching those films with my father that initially sparked my interest in being a comedian ... I saw the way he could make other adults at a party laugh and that was my first exposure to the power of being funny ..."
Of course, Conan learned that fathering was no joke when he had his own child Neve, whom his father loves to dote on. Seeing his father morph into a loving grandfather, Conan could only holler at his daughter, "You don’t get it, kid, in 1974 this guy was Stalin!"
For his part, multiple Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning actor Beau Bridges has two words to describe his relationship with his actor father Lloyd Bridges: respect and faith. That was what bridged the members of the Bridges acting dynasty. And this was put to the test when Beau played in a Little League championship game with his dad as head coach. With a six-run lead and just one more to get that final out, his dad fielded him to replace a player. With his teammates jabbing the air with their mitts and trembling in their cleats, Beau executed probably the worst performance of his life, making his team lose seven to six. He was devastated and mad at his father. Was it a father’s blind faith or unconditional love?
Beau, whose ego was incurably bruised, didn’t know what it was then. Now, the answer is clear: "... Whatever it was, I don’t think it had anything to do with winning or losing. It was just a moment between a father and his son ... that will last a lifetime."
On the other hand, winning was what the family of Billie Jean King, who ruled Wimbledon as the women’s tennis champ for five years, was good at. Her dad, Bill Moffitt (after whom she was named), was an all-around athlete. While Billie Jean always wanted to be No. 1, her father taught her how tough it would be to be at the top.
"My father had a very competitive nature when he played sports ... He was just crazed, so intense – a maniac, really. John McEnroe had nothing on him, believe me," Billie Jean gushes.
Her father, a driven police officer, took a second job and her mother sold Tupperware and Avon so she and her brother Randy, a baseball player with the San Francisco Giants, could live their dreams. Today, it’s Billie Jean King’s turn to cheer on her parents, now in their 80s and still swing dancing.
And speaking of dancing, Bobbi Brown’s sparkling eyes dance everytime she talks of her dad, James Brown, who’s "the closest person in the universe to me. He is the guy I called first when I’d had a bad day, when I sold my company, when I met the man I was going to marry. I mean, he is just right there!"
Let’s face it, the world of cosmetics has never been the same again since Bobbi Brown, founder and CEO of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, came up with her fabulous color palette that catered to women’s unique features. What most people don’t know is that what adds color to her life is her beautiful relationship with her super cool dad. No wonder she married somebody who’s a lot like her dad. She says she’s a better mom because she’s seen her father parent. Which is why, she adds, "... I tell him I love him; and I tell him how much he means to me. That’s my biggest advice for any human being: Never hold back what’s on your mind. I’m really lucky because he’s my father and my friend."
The tooth of the matter is, the father of Dr. Dean Ornish – yes, the Ornish of the "Eat more, weigh less" diet fame – was a dentist. Dr. Edwin Ornish, a staunch advocate of preventing cavities, became a dentist so he could be his own boss. (Who’s to argue with a guy hiding behind a surgical mask and wielding an ominous pair of tooth pliers? Is that you, Freddy Krueger?) He also wanted to spend more time with his family. He certainly left his son a mouthful of legacy. Says Dr. Dean Ornish, "That’s why he really wanted me to become a dentist. What he really was saying was, ‘If not dentistry, do something that will give you the pleasure of serving other people in ways that make a meaningful impact on their lives, and that will also give you independence ..."
Dr. Ornish has certainly made a difference (more or less – in pounds, that is) in other people’s lives with his famous diet.
Filling his dad’s big shoes was a tall order for weather reporter Al Roker, who’s gone through fair and foul weather in his career. But one thing was a constant in his life: his father Al Roker Sr. His dear old man who drove a bus and sold his beloved motorcycle to feed his family of six. The guy who kept his bus driver’s uniform squeaky-clean and his shoes stunningly buffed.
Al never thought he would one day have to step into his father’s big shoes after his father died of lung cancer. Looking at his own children, Al found the answer to his dilemma: "... I found a way to fill those ‘Big Shoes.’ My boy is filling them. My daughters are filling them. I watch them growing up and realize they’re the ones who walk in his footsteps. My job is to make sure they keep walking."
Until they’re big enough to fit into Dad’s Big Shoes. And shoe forth and shoe on.